Senior Female Saints who are territorial.

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by T Alan, Dec 27, 2014.

  1. T Alan

    T Alan
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    The Church I attend is a small rural Church. The member list is small less than 10, There is a precious lady there that has been, as she is quick to remind you, a member there over 60 years who, during business meetings, when something "different" or "new" is suggested, usually says "well, we've never done it that way before" or "our way (meaning her way)" has been fine till now I don't see the need to change it.

    Suggestions for pushing forward without overly offending her?
     
  2. Rolfe

    Rolfe
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    Perhaps she may be right at times. Wisdom of years.
     
  3. blackbird

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    You can push forward----but you have to remind yourself that your little matriarch will most likely push you out!!! Just be ready for that---as God told Moses----Have the Hebrews to eat the Passover with their staff in their hand and their shoes on their feet!! Consider your situation "Eating the Passover" Worship as you go!!!
     
  4. Crabtownboy

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    Years ago I read a book with the tditle, "The 7 Last Words of the Church; We've Never Done It That Way Before." Times change and if our methods do not change the church will die. The message does not change, but the methods must.
     
  5. annsni

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    I would ask that we remember that if we never changed anything, the church wouldn't have electricity or indoor plumbing. ;) They also wouldn't have pianos or organs or hymnals.

    Then I'd get back to making suggestions and asking others for their opinions.
     
  6. padredurand

    padredurand
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    Be patient. Some day you will officiate her funeral...
     
  7. Scarlett O.

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    Are the other 8 people being swayed by her defense of the "old way" of doing things?

    If not, then just say at the business meetings when she brings up the good old days, "And we all thank you, Mrs. Smith, for your 60 years of service to the Lord at our church. You are a blessing." And then move on.

    If they are being persuaded by her defense of the "old ways", then perhaps gently remind them all that you only have 10 members in your church and perhaps that's why. Change of things - lots of things that the church has to deal with but doesn't affect eternity - shouldn't be fought over.

    Like the color of the carpet or the new floor. Or what time to have Sunday School.
     
  8. Revmitchell

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    Church Renewal is not easy. Especially when you have a dear old saint who is willing to take the church to the grave with her.

    What you can do is research the changing Demographics. Get to know the previous demographics during "her day" and learn how they have change. This research can be acquired through your association if you do not know how to do it. The reports you get from them will give you a wife swoth of info to include conservative or liberal, religious affiliation, churched and unchurches, family homes or singles, etc. Usually you can stick to just a 5 mile radius.

    Be able to show the demographics and how they have changed. Show that what worked back in her day will no longer work because of the changing of demographics and the mindsets of people that have moved in the area, say in the last 10 years. I guarantee there has been some amount of change.

    Also, you need to show why the church needs to be reaching people of all ages including young families which will be where the energy comes from if the church is to continue and move forward.

    It may also be necessary to use scripture to define "what works" in a church. To some of our seasoned saints "what works" can often be code word to hide behind that simply means "I'm only comfortable with this".

    You do not want to be pushy to the point that you create a mess. However, at some point the church needs to decide if keeping those dear old saints are worth holding the church back.


    Here is a link to some podcasts about church renewal. These are not calvinist oriented so my may have to take in what you will and spit out the bones.

    http://renovateconference.org/podcast


    If you truly have a heart to see your church grow you can get locked in with your association and they will help you in any way they can. Maybe you can be the catalyst for that church to move forward for God's glory. I will be in prayer for you in your endeavor.
     
  9. T Alan

    T Alan
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    God's power revealed through prayer...It is a blessing. Thank you Sir and Thank's unto a Glorious LORD.
     
  10. Aaron

    Aaron
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    What do you mean by "pushing forward?"
     
  11. T Alan

    T Alan
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    My agenda of course. What else?:thumbs:
     
  12. blackbird

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    Brother-----you're a pastor just like I am----and we need to remind ourselves that churches do NOT and cannot go to the grave!!! People go to the grave!! People die!!! Churches don't! Churches can't die!! Churches are as eternal as their head!!

    PEOPLE die!! PEOPLE go to the grave!! She will go to the grave one day!! You will go to the grave one day! But the church cannot die and cannot go to the grave!!

    See what I mean??:thumbs::saint::saint:
     
  13. T Alan

    T Alan
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    BB, I know what you "mean" But, you know yourself that doors of the "Churches" are locked and the buildings put up for sale every day. I would say this is a "Church" dying. If one part of the body is sick the entire body suffers. The Church as the body of Christ will never die, but some of the appendages are truly near amputation.
    I know of one building over 100 years old in which the congregation consists of Daddy (80's), Mama (that's how we that loved our's spell it) Son and daughter in law, and one other life long attender. Occasionally a couple of family visitors,The preacher that visits twice a month is an excellent expositor of the Word.

    What's wrong?
     
  14. HAMel

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    ...it's a sad state of affairs when an individual (or a family) runs the church. This is where I differ from most. Everyone wants to be nice and friendly and not hurt anyone else's feelings..., but the other party doesn't hesitate one iota to insult and upset others.

    So? This woman has been in place for the past 50 years. You hear what she has to say and then move on with what has to be accomplished.
     
  15. T Alan

    T Alan
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    Oh, You know them I see. They are ruled by "If it ain't broke it don't need fixin", which in some cases is not a bad thing. I sponsored a Spaghetti social on Sunday after meeting and was having trouble with one of the "eyes" heating properly, its a about a 60 model stove (still nice though) that she donated years ago after getting her a new one at home. I commented on the trouble with the eye and they said "oh yeah, that eyes has troubles". Several months later I suggested we "update" the stove and get a new one. The Pastor (whom I love dearly is 44 and been there since he was 24), asked why? lol (The Church is the Oldest in this County at nearly 200)

    [​IMG]
     
  16. timf

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    Change can be good or bad. Given that we live in a time of rapidly growing apostasy a natural counter inclination towards conservatism would be expected.

    However, most change is resisted not because it is wrong but because it is uncomfortable.

    A church should be measured against the standard of Ephesians four. Each Christian is supposed to be made to mature into the full stature of Christ. Any change towards this direction should be welcomed.
     
  17. blackbird

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    Your sheep have gone sterile!!!! Have the Vet(the Lord Jesus) come out for a visit to your sheep farm!!!!:thumbs::thumbs:
     
  18. T Alan

    T Alan
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    True, very true.

    We beckon Him without ceasing! "Even so, Come LORD Jesus."
     
  19. Baptist Believer

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    This is a great line!

    You gave some fantastic advice, Rev.
     
  20. Baptist Believer

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    Churches are local expressions of the Kingdom of God. If they do not serve the purposes of the Kingdom of God, they wither and die. New churches (or other churches) take their place until the return of Christ.

    I believe I know what you are trying to say, but churches are not eternal. God's Kingdom is eternal, but churches will pass away. The reason the word "church" is not used after chapter 3 of Revelation (except for the closing comments in 22:16) is that the church with end. NOT because the church has been somehow taken from the earth in a secret rapture (e.g. the "Left Behind" series), but because the church is not needed since the Kingdom of God will have its full reign.
     

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