Serial Monogamy and Polygamy: Are They Similar?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by righteousdude2, Sep 17, 2013.

  1. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    A week doesn't go by that I do not come across a man, or woman who hasn't been married four, five six times or more.

    I was wondering out loud and decided to pose this question to you....does a man, or woman who divorces and remarries time-after-time, come close to committing legal polygamy. In fact, there is a term for this, and it is "Serial Monogamy!"

    SEE:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=serial monogamy

    Would you see these folks as being credible and eligible for the position of pastor or deacon or Sunday School teacher in a Baptist church? Especially when they have been in and out of multiple marriages, without very sound reasons, like death, and some form of abuse by the spouse toward them!

    I know God forgives anyone, but would a person, whom the church considers to be a serial monogamist, be a good choice to serve in any position of leadership? And if so, how long [in years] would you expect that person and, or couple to have been married in order to demonstrate solidity in their union?
     
  2. annsni

    annsni
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    We have people in leadership who have been divorced. But they were divorced when they were unsaved and it was MANY years ago.

    For someone to have more than one divorce shows a problem and honestly, I'd question what was going on. Obviously God forgives our sins and what someone does before they were saved really cannot be "held" against them but we still need to understand the character flaw that is causing this. I'd say for someone to have been divorced twice, we are really on shaky ground. REALLY shaky ground. Of course I can't give an across the board ruling on this unless we're talking 4 divorces - then I'd feel relatively comfortable saying "Most likely this is not a candidate for the ministry." :)
     
  3. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1
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    IF someone is going thru new partners though like new meal each day, would those even be considered to be really even legitimate marriages before the lord, as seems that the person knows its going to getfropped for next babe any ways?

    And wouldn't that person, if claiming to be saved, hve to amn up, and stick to one women, in next go around?
     
  4. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    I think each of you may have forgotten that even those in Christ can continue in persistent sin and not really know the answer to their problems due to their "addiction" to whatever it may be interfering with their ability to properly reason. I use "addiction" for lack of a better phrase, but it is indeed possible for a Christian to seek happiness in "love" relationships without really knowing what love is from Christ's perspective. Only when these types open themselves completely to Christ and surrender unconditionally to Him are they able to begin to understand what love is, and how it should be acted out in life.

    I know. I was one. I was married as a young U.S. Army 1LT to the daughter of the general at my previous base assignment. She was drop dead gorgeous and (sorry for the reference) sexy as all get out, and for a young 21-year-old combat vet, she was the "ideal Army wife." Neither of us were Christians, she was a social-climbing control freak and I was an adrenaline junky who continued to seek dangerous assignments. Of course it didn't work out, because there was no love, just lust -- on both our parts, but for different things. I wanted -- well, it's obvious what I wanted -- and she wanted someone who'd take her to Washington and the Pentagon like Daddy had. It only took two years for us to split.

    My second marriage was near the end of my military career about 16 years later. She, too, was very nice looking and that other thing as well, and again it was lust, not love, that brought us together. But I was still an adrenaline junky and had sought and kept assignment to SpecOps for way too long. Frankly, I was nuttier than a fruitcake and she saw that for herself. Six years this time.

    Now, I'm married to another woman, but Christ is at the center of this relationship. She has been married even more times than I. From teen pregnancy to seeking a "father" for her children, she married four times. Christ wasn't in those marriages anymore than He was in my first two. He is this time. I haven't been married for 20 years. Her last marriage ended two years ago. But we both arrived at the same place at the same time -- knowing that we had to unconditionally surrender to Christ, let Him captain the ships of our lives, and give Him all the glory, honor and praise, regardless of whether we liked those lives or not.

    I've gone through addictions to alcohol and gambling. She, to relationships. Now, since our surrenders to Him, we have opened our hearts to love on His terms, and shortly after we both came to that point in our lives, He allowed us to meet, and the rest -- as they say -- is history.

    I now co-lead our men's ministry at church. I've made every mistake a man can make, so I'm a natural at helping other men avoid those mistakes. She sees her ministry as supporting and upholding me, keeping me accountable, loving and encouraging me at every step. I'm a licensed addictions counselor, working on my Masters. She is a NICU nurse, forty years at the same job.

    We were made for one another, and are living testimonies to others who struggle.

    God bless you all.
     
  5. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell
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    Unless all of that took place before they turned their life over to the Lord regardless of the number.
     
  6. quantumfaith

    quantumfaith
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    I understand (sort of) the leadership angle....but I really don't understand the difference of before being a believer and after being a believer. Yes, there is the presence of the Holy Spirit and greater knowledge, wisdom etc. However, we are still human and still just as liable to make mistakes (sin and transgress). Not sure if I am communicating clearly or not.
     
  7. quantumfaith

    quantumfaith
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    Thank You so much for sharing yourself. We often, in the community of Christianity have what I think is a false notion of life being some how "better". We amp up the expectation level. True, we now, as believers, through the presence of the Holy Spirit have the authority to deny sin and temptation, but we still struggle with obedience.
     
  8. annsni

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    Absolutely but we would have to see a testimony of great change in their lives before we would consider entry into the ministry.
     
  9. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell
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    No doubt of course that should be a given regardless of divorce or anything else.
     
  10. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1
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    True, but isn'yt it amazing that the Lord can save and actually be able to use people JUST like us in His plans and purposes, that we all needed to have Him touch and save us, in order to begin using us!
     

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