Serious Question

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Nicholas25, Jun 17, 2006.

  1. Nicholas25

    Nicholas25
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    I have a hard time dealing with my best friends wife. She is rude, crude, obnoxious and loud. My friend and I have been friends for 10 years but he has only been married for the last 2 or 3 years. Neither one of them are saved but my buddy is a great guy and respects and believes in Christianity. I pray for both of them but it's got to the point that I hate to see her. I hate feeling this way because as a Christian I feel we are supposed to love everyone and I know I am going to have to be around her for the rest of my life. What do you guys think? Can you love someone as a Christian but still not want to be around them? Is it possible in this flesh to love everyone? Does the Lord understand when your flesh is annoyed by people even though you still pray for them and hope to see them come to know Christ as savior? Thank you very much.
     
  2. mcdirector

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    Surely the Lord understands that we are irritated by others. He made us with all our intricate wiring.

    This is so hard. If she weren't married to your friend, I'd just say to continue praying, but restrict your contact with her. Since she is your friend's wife, you might be stuck with seeing her. How about -- when you pray for her, ask God to give you His love for her. Some people are just plain loveable and others we just have to keep giving back to Him.
     
  3. Mishelly

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    I had a friend who states 'I am a Positive Athiest'

    We are no longer friends for a number of reasons, 1 of them being she would love to start Religious arguments for fun, at first I would talk with her to try to get her to see the Truth of Jesus but I found she had a deaf ear and so I would just turned the other cheek.

    I also try to love all as God but it is hard. I wish I had advise but I would like to have an answer as well.
     
  4. webdog

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    There are people that I love, but I would rather spend limited time with. There is nothing abnormal about this, we are human, and some people's personalities clash with others. The key is to love everybody as Christ would. Even then, it can be hard to deal with certain individuals. Christ loved those selling in the Temple, but He got mad at them and threw them out.

    Keep praying that God will show you a different side to her, and to help you tolerate her presence. Your testimony to them is crucial.
     
  5. Brother Bob

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    You find this hard to believe but there are people on BB that think I am hard to like, man I can't understand that one. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :applause:
     
  6. DeeJay

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    Love is not a feeling you get. The Bible tells us to even love our enemies (not that she is an enemie). The point is love is an action it is something you do. If you look for an oppertunity you will find there are all kinds of chances to love somebody.

    If they are going out of town, volunteer to feed their dog. Shovel the snow from their walk, mow their lawn. Those are all ways to show love. You do not have to like somebody to love them. You have to make a decition to do acts of love and look for the oppertunity to do those acts of love.
     
  7. Brother Bob

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    What if you don't like the dog either?:smilewinkgrin:
     
  8. Mishelly

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    Amen - I love my family but do not like them sometimes :tongue3: :laugh:
     
  9. blackbird

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    When I got married---I found out quick that I was the one who was loud and obnoxious---we've been married now for 18 years and I am surprised she's put up with me for all this long.

    There are people at my church that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they can't stand my personality--some have told me point blank.

    But God has made us all with differing personalities---I believe it would be beyond boredom to be married to anyone other than who I am married to---If I were married to another lady who is just like me---well---lets just say there'd probably be times where I'd tell her

    "Honey! I'm going out for some Ice Cream!"

    And never go back!!

    I'd find a place that would be guaranteed she'd never find me in spite of her attempts to call in the FBI, CIA, the ATF, Scotland Yard, and the KJB!!!! That on top of all the best Cadaver sniffin' Coon dogs in the county bayin'---they'd find themselves bayin' at the wind!!!! 'Cause that'll the only trace their sniffer can sniff of me!!!
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    My guess is---and you won't like my guess--you're jealous! Your best buddy married a complete stranger to you---and you're having to adjust and you don't want to!!

    But you know what????

    You're gonna haff to--if you want to keep "hangin'" with your best buddy!!

    According to the word of God---you're buddy is commanded to love his wife MORE than he loves his relationship with you---and visa versa---if I had to choose between my obnoxious wife and my best buddy---I would have to tell my best buddy---"Adios Amigos!!

    But my good guess also tells me---your buddy ain't gonna do either---he isn't gonna go out for some Ice Cream and neither is he gonna tell you Adios Amigos!!

    It takes time to brew coffee!! Give the obnoxious wife some time---learn to bend yourself---relax--don't panic---by and by you'll get married yourself and then YOUR best buddy will be sayin' the same thing you do

    "The old hag!!"

    "She's so rude!"

    "She burps and other things!"

    "She's a slob!"

    "Her house and kitchen looks like a Iraqi war zone!!!"

    And you'll be over there lookin' at your obnoxious wife---thinkin' she's the best thing that could happen to you since the cure for Polio!!!!!

    Relax!!! She'll grow on ya!!!

    Blackbird
     
    #9 blackbird, Jun 17, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 17, 2006
  10. Brother Bob

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    Blackbird could I have your wife's email? :saint: :laugh:
     
  11. menageriekeeper

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    Good advice Blackbird!
     
  12. Rex77

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    It's not always possible.

    Ro 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
     
  13. DeeJay

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    Would that not be taking about war. As in you should try to avoid war.

    Here are some more commands. I do not see"if possible" in them.

    And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’[a] There is no other commandment greater than these.”
    Mark 12:31

    Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
    Romans 13:8

    If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,”[a] you do well;
    James 2:8

    But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
    Luke 6:27

    Notice in that last one it tells you how to love them. It does not say feel good about them or like them alot. It says DO GOOD to them.
     
  14. TheWinDork

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    The Solution

    [​IMG]
    :laugh:
     
  15. Nicholas25

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    Blackbird:

    I am not jealous. I am getting married myself in July. I am very happy that my buddy is happy. It's just that no one can handle being around his wife. She is LOUD and RUDE and CRUDE! She is also a know/it/all who has never been wrong about anything and has the answer to everything. As a Christian I don't like feeling this way. I just have to pray for the help of the Lord in dealing with her and loving her. But no it has nothing to with jealousy, that's not my style.
     
  16. bapmom

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    the Bible does say

    "IF it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peacably with all men."

    Yes, that would include women.......:laugh:

    The best thing to do is pray for her. Pray FOR her, to have a good day, that God would bless her, and that God would give her and your buddy a good marriage. You'll find that your tolerance of her will increase gradually.
     
  17. Brother Bob

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    If you are a good person over a period of time she will come to realize it. I say just be yourself, be nice but not overbearing. I have always found people like that it is better for them to see how you behave for awhile and soon they realize how to get along with you also. I suspect you are a threat to her and that is why she is doing this. She is trying to run you off. Just be nice and time has a way of working all things out. If she never accepts you then your friendship with your friend will grow apart. Its called "human nature".
     
  18. menageriekeeper

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    A lot of times, loud, rude and crude is a cover for insecurity. The more people reject one like this the more they defend themselves by being "more" right, or more rude.

    My guess is, some positive affirmation when she really is right, polite or quiet, will go a long way toward changing her attitude.

    OR......

    Do you, thank her for cooking when you eat at her house, offer to help clean up, make sure she has something to occupy her time when you hijack her husband for video games and if she doesn't offer to make it another time? Remember, your best buddy is HER husband! She may be being loud and crude so you'll go away!

    Just remember, you cannot change the way someone else acts. You can only change your own behavior so that it takes the tension out of the situation.

    As a Christian it is your duty to show her there's a better way. Can you do that if you allow yourself to become irritated at her?
     
  19. Blammo

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    The fact that, (in your opinion), she is rude, crude, obnoxious and loud, does not mean you don't love her. The fact that you hate to be around her does not mean you don't love her. I underlined two statements in your original post that I believe show you do love her.
     
    #19 Blammo, Jun 19, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 19, 2006
  20. Brother Bob

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    Blammo;

    Oops, don't go too far with the helping her out or your friend get jealous and you be gone for sure. :)
     

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