Single Pastors

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Bro. Curtis, Jul 16, 2003.

  1. Bro. Curtis

    Bro. Curtis
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    Having a hard time with this one....

    1 Timothy 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

    Why is this verse in there, if sigle pastors are allowed, biblically ?

    I'm not being all legalistic, I am sincerely asking, and would appreciate honest answers.
     
  2. aefting

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    Before I was married, I wondered if I should become a deacon when I was asked. I actually turned it down at least once for the very reason you state.

    My understanding of this passage has changed slightly, though. What about a preacher whose wife dies while he is in the ministry -- does that disqualify him? What if his wife is barren? I came to the conclusion that, while it is helpful for a pastor (or deacon) to be married with kids, it is not required. However, if he is married with kids, they need to be in subjection, and his household, no matter the size, must be in order.

    I finally did become a deacon while single but rejoiced greatly when I found my wife!
     
  3. Pastor Larry

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    IT is there because the way a man rules his house shows how he will take care of the house of God (cf. v. 5). Therefore, those in his house must be in subjection. If he is the only one in his house, then he must be in subjection. This verse does not argue that a pastor must have children. It argues that man must be a strong spiritual leader who is effective.
     
  4. Artimaeus

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    Pastor Larry [​IMG]
     
  5. BrianT

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    Does this verse require that a pastor be married?

    1 Tim 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
     
  6. Jim1999

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    1 Tim 1:12 "And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry..." Was Paul married? Some will split hairs and say he was an apostle and not a bishop, but that is splitting hairs and nothing more.

    The passage in question is simply stating the qualifications of one desiring the office of bishop as has already been said....in charge over his own house and a capable leader.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  7. Dr. Bob

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    I feel a proper interpretation of both texts in question:

    IF a pastor is married, he is to be a "one woman man".

    IF a pastor is gifted by God with children, he is to "rule his children well".

    Could a man be an OT priest and not have children? Think Zacharias and Elizabeth.

    These are not prohibitions DEMANDING a man be married and that he have children. They are CONDITIONAL "if"/"then".

    And having a wife/children does not mean the man is qualified to be a pastor, either. I know some who should NOT be in the ministry after seeing their families.
     
  8. David Mark

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    Good replies.

    When Paul compared the single pious servant to the married pious servant, he stated clearly that the single pious servant was in a position to be less distracted by the cares of this world (how he could please his wife) than the married pious servant. In my thinking that is comparing servants with the same piety). Granted, Paul does not say pious, but I really do think that is the context of his teaching. That piety, IMO is not false piety, but true piety before God and man.

    I fully agree that a single man can be a great and wonderful Pastor (Bishop) or deacon etc.

    Single men who do not have a handle on their sexual passions, in my mind would not qualify for pastor (bishop). Therein (in my mind) lies the almost impossible factor these days. I do know a single pastor. In this man, I can say he rises above every pastor I've ever met in my life. He is beyond reproach in many areas of his Christian life. A true Timothy if ever I met one personally.

    How would a single pastor treat the single sisters his age? After all, in reality he is an "eligible bachelor" isn't he? That's a real tough issue. I think, if a single man has control in this area, he is free to spend all of his energy on the ministry and still be open to having a godly wife later. Managing that without offending the eager single sisters would be a real accomplishment.

    I listened to a very effective preacher on the radio. He had a great message. He told a story about how he had begun to give so much (ALL) to the ministry that his wife had to "put her foot down". He agreed with her and rightly so, because she was right. He backed off the ministry for her sake and still remains effective. Nevertheless, his testimony remains: He backed off on his devotion to the Church for his wifes sake.

    He did the right thing. He put his wife before the ministry. I do consider that correct and loving.

    This indeed would be a "prize" for a single pious man to be able to "contain" himself and be an effective Pastor/Bishop. At least until or even if God allowed him to find a godly wife.

    Dave.
     
  9. KrispyKritter

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    Hey David Mark... long time no see...

    Again, you nailed it. Very well stated, and almost poetic.
     
  10. Pastor Larry

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    No. It requires that he be a "one woman man," a man characterized by sexual integrity and faithfulness.
     
  11. David Mark

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    It's a delight to see you again Krispy!

    Thank you sir.

    Dave.
     
  12. Bro. Curtis

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    Excellent, folks. I was beginning to feel like a legalist with my interpretation, it just didn't feel right.

    Now...how about a man who was divorced before being saved ? Or who had a child out of wedlock before repenting ? Does this disqualiy him ? His life is not above reproach, is it ?

    I know that God does not consider all those saved for the ministry, he is pretty picky on who should be leading, or holding office.

    What say ye ?
     
  13. David Mark

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    Paul encourages me/us to look ahead and press on. Forgetting the past and putting on the new man. The call to holiness is clear and has purpose. Paul's advice to Timothy, seems to point to a man's current state and standing with the people. Is his house currently in a mess or is it currently in good order? Is he currently married to more than one wife? Are his children consistently unruly now? How will the people know these things about this man if he is not hospitable or keeps people "at a distance". Thereby, I agree with Paul's advice that these types of men should be given to hospitality. It's at someone else's home that we get the privilege to see folks "let their hair down".

    The leader who has little to no interest in me. Will not let me get close to him. Never invites me to his house nor never accepts my invitations is not going to be a Pastor to me. That doesn't negate any obligations I have to him though.

    I've noticed no dredging up of past faults as a consideration. If God considered anyone's past faults... Well....

    Does God really remove our transgressions as far as the East is from the West? My natural man says no he doesn't. My new man says: Yes.

    That doesn't mean that man will forget.

    If you have what it currently takes and you are given to hospitality, then I would be willing to listen to you in your role as Pastor.

    If God considers not your past, then what business is it of mine? If you've been honest before the Mercy Seat about your failures and faults and I attempt to pull them down and confront you with them, what does that make me? It makes me a meddler in the affairs of God.

    It's what you do now that I will watch with a critical eye, should you desire to influence me in the role of Pastor. I am right to do it too.

    Just thinking...

    Dave
     
  14. timothy 1769

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    i would take this literally. the "ifs" aren't there, and the holy
    spirit certainly was capable of inspiring them if needed.
     
  15. SaggyWoman

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    This more has to do with deacons, but I am a single woman in our church. I know many of the singles in our church. I know how many of them manage their lives and also, how they manage their time with children, if they choose to have time with children.

    Some of the men do well to manage their time and their "household."

    Others are goofs. Who needs them as a deacon?
     
  16. LadyEagle

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    OK, here's a spin - meaning ONLY one wife. Back in those days it was often customary for a man to have several wives at the same time.

    And actually, I can't take credit for thinking that one up. When we were out with our pastor the other night eating ribs (all you can eat, blessed pork BBQ, thank you, NT), we were discussing the above verse & he threw the historical light on the passage.

    Who says Christians can't eat and discuss theology at the same time?

    So what do you think? [​IMG]
     
  17. Dr. Bob

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    Of course that would be the historic context of the "one-woman man". Not "two-women" but one.

    Nothing to do with divorce. Nothing to do with widower. Polygamy. Biggest problem of the Roman family.

    Or as you and your pastor would say while you're eating ribs "Pigamy". Baby-back pig-ummmm-mE!
     
  18. Baptist in Richmond

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    OK, here's a spin - meaning ONLY one wife. Back in those days it was often customary for a man to have several wives at the same time.

    And actually, I can't take credit for thinking that one up. When we were out with our pastor the other night eating ribs (all you can eat, blessed pork BBQ, thank you, NT), we were discussing the above verse & he threw the historical light on the passage.

    Who says Christians can't eat and discuss theology at the same time?

    So what do you think? [​IMG]
    </font>[/QUOTE]What do I think?
    I am going to go and do likewise!!
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    EXCELLENT post!!
     
  19. DCK

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    Since Paul was single himself, I doubt that he would consider marriage a prerequisite for being a pastor/elder or deacon. (Elsewhere, he recommends singleness for those seeking to serve God.) I think that he is simply assuming that most men pursuing a ministry will be married, especially in that day when singleness was rarer than it is in our society. The emphasis of the passage seems to be on the man's godly character, not his marital status.
     
  20. Johnv

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    If one were to take it literally, it could be argued that married people without children shouldn't be pastors either.

    The verse doesn't say that a pastor MUST be married, or MUST have children, but that one who has a household rules it well.
     

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