Does anyone else out there struggle with being a deacon's wife? ( Or maybe too as a pastor's wife). My husband has been a deacon for a year now and my role as a deacon's wife has been harder than I imagined. What made it hard right off the bat was about a month after my husband became a deacon, our church went through a really hard time. One of the deacons had resigned and about 2 months later it was found out that this deacon and a SS teacher were commiting adultery. Both of these people are close friends of our family. I was floored--never suspected a thing. They were even meeting after church in a room in the church basement. So sad, 10 children between the 2 families and the woman was pregnant at the time. The husband who was betrayed is so angry at the pastor and deacons and families because he was the last to know about it. There was suspision for a couple of weeks and the man involved was confronted but denied the charge. Later, a church member saw them parked in town kissing in the woman's van. The betrayed husband seems to feel the pastor and deacons are to blame. Pastor suspected for a while, but had no proof. It had been going on for a year and a half. The deacon and family left the church and both couples are still married, but their marriages seem so crippled. Anyway, where I come into it. It seems like some people in our church think a deacon's wife knows everything that goes on in deacon's meetings (I don't) and are always trying to get juicy details out of me. For the last year I haven't even answered my phone. I let the anwering machine get the calls and then pick up if I want. My sister is one wanting the latest details on whatever crisis our church might be going through. I am not a very confrontational person--I don't like to make waves--it is not my nature. I usually tell them (the nosey people) that I don't wish to discuss such topics but it gets so wearisome. I have been very careful about guarding my tongue. I keep telling my husband, "you can be a deacon, but I am not going to be a deacon's wife" Maybe it is because I am new at this or maybe it is just the timing. Do others have problems with people wanting to know juicy details and how do you get rid of them without being offensive or unkind? It never seems to end.