The difference between liberals and conservatives.

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Brother James, Feb 7, 2006.

  1. Brother James

    Brother James
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    This is written from a lost sinners point of view but nevertheless it's insightful and humorous.

    The Last Necessary Column On Politics

    Fred Explains Practically Everything




    January 6, 2005

    In my capacity as Western Civilization’s principal moral compass and intellectual lighthouse, I thought I might explain politics once and forever. There are altogether too many television shows about politics, too many books by people who would better pass their time in drinking. Newspapers have gotten above themselves. They are full of columnists. A final explanation of all things political will allow the papers to concern themselves entirely with coverage of ghastly murders, divorcing celebrities, and the incursions of space aliens into Puerto Rico.

    In America, politics breaks mostly into two groups, both of whom probably do not have enough to do: liberals and conservatives. I will explain each.

    The liberal believes that the group has a right to control every aspect of everyone’s life. He may permit many freedoms, but only those of which liberals approve. Abstract or general freedom holds no appeal for him. The limbic instinct of the inveterate liberal is to harry, regulate, and stifle the individual, of whose penchant for independent action he is profoundly distrustful.

    Of course he does not think that he is stifling and imposing, but improving and instructing. For the unwilling he has no patience. The liberal is a creature of the homiletic herd, like a gnu wielding tracts, and believes in the “the masses,” in their infinite plasticity and potential for uplift and betterment, guided by him. Particularly he wants to uplift those who do not want to be uplifted, as their independence might be infectious. He sees himself in the capacity of the patient mother of a society of wayward two-year-olds who must be diapered, formed, and taught.

    Thus his love of government in all its meddlesome intrusiveness, pedestrian witlessness, and unrestrained drive for dominion. He—or rather more often, she—knows that without coercion, some people will not do as they ought: that they will besot themselves, behave wrongheadedly, teach their children heaven knows what, and march off in all different directions. They must be restrained. And since the restrained usually find ways of evading the constricting tentacles, ever more and more-detailed laws must be enacted to thwart each new escape. Thus the government will eventually come to dictate the altitude, material, color, shape, texture, and compressive strength of toilet seats.

    Liberalism is a feminine creed, embodying the kindness, short horizons, modest familiarity with reason, and placidity of the sex. It wants to buy people nice things without reflecting on how to pay for them. It believes in goodness but doesn’t often get much further, being benevolent while falling short of beneficence. As good mothers will, it tries to protect everyone from everything.

    This is why the Democratic Party unrelentingly promotes security. Children must wear helmets while riding bicycles, swimming pools must not have deep ends, canoeists must wear life preservers, we must outlaw guns, and smoking, and drinking while driving, and we should all wear sunscreen so as to avoid melanoma. We must worry about safety until there is nothing left in life but its preservation.

    With the seldom recognized totalitarianism of the female, liberals seek to impose happiness, whether desired or not, by therapy and mood-altering drugs, whether desired or not. People must be happy, must be safe, must be forcibly socialized to a life of orderly boring routine whether they want it or not. The herd will provide for all; the price is that all must yield to the herd. Thus the liberal aversion to any form of self-defense, whether conducted with a gun or a baseball bat. Self-defense is distressingly individual.

    Conservatives by contrast believe that the individual has a God-given right to rob others. As the liberal has good intentions without rationality, the conservative has rationality without good intentions. He worships at the shrine of personal freedom, by which he means only his prerogative of making money regardless of damage done to others. He dislikes government as he dislikes anything that might inconvenience the pursuit of private rapine. He believes in the sanctity of private property, unless someone buys the lot next to his and builds a hog-rendering plant, when he will see the merits of zoning.

    Conservatism is a masculine faith, hard-eyed, coldly logical, frequently bloodthirsty, and typically out of touch with any reality beyond the commercial. The conservative has no concern for the less fortunate, who he believes probably deserve it anyway. There is in conservatism a strong streak of social Darwinism.

    Conservatives are fond of war, partly to be sure because of the consequent flow of contracts but also because war is an age-old, genetically mediated hobby of males. A robust conservatism embodies all the brainless pugnacity of the male. Note that history is chiefly the record of armed bands of men poking each other with sharp objects, after which the survivors drink mead and tell themselves how glorious it was. The Iliad, Beowulf, the Song of Rolland, and the Old Testament for example all read like the annals of teenage gangs in Chicago.

    In the conservative mind, martial derring-do is wrapped like a birthday present in notions of glory, valor, sacrifice, virility, and transcendence. Women and most Democrats seem to see it in terms of deeply rooted and intransigent idiocy.

    Conservatives conspicuously lack esthetic sensibility, a love of beauty being a concern of women and homosexuals. Show the conservative an Arcadian idyll of rolling fields and ancient oaks and he will see a site for several garish hotels, a parking lot, and a Wal-Mart. Like a congenitally deaf man watching the inexplicable sawings of a symphony orchestra, he is puzzled by conservationists. A dolphin, an elephant, a panda he calculates in terms of cans of dog food at thirty-seven cents per, and, for an additional three cents a can to cover legal contingencies, he would pack his grandmother. He sincerely has no faint idea why anyone might object.

    He is likely to be a Christian, though not to the extent of letting his faith moderate his misbehavior. For him faith is a justification, not a limitation. While conservatives generally do not engage in herd behavior (note that they seldom hold demonstrations, while liberals seldom stop) they do believe in military aggression. Christianity provides moral cover as he does things that might otherwise raise nagging doubts, such as dropping large bombs on other people’s cities. I was only following orders, from on high.

    The solution to the conflict between the two groups should be obvious to all thinking people, if any: Drop them down an abandoned oil well, pump large amounts of potassium cyanide after them, and stuff Oprah into the hole as a plug. A cap of cement couldn’t hurt. The silence alone would justify this wise deed.All correspondence regarding the foregoing luminous insights should be sent to General Delivery, Tierra del Fuego, Argentina.

    http://www.fredoneverything.net/FOE_Frame_Column.htm
     
  2. elijah_lives

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    This must be satirical. It's too full of %3*! to be legitimate.
     
  3. Brother James

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    Yeah you're probably right. Liberals can't be as bad as he makes them out to be. [​IMG]
     
  4. Scott J

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    I won't attempt to speak for liberals but he seems to have some grasp of their ideals... although I would not characterize them as "good" at all (the ideals). In fact, they are much more cruel than even his depiction of conservatives.

    On conservatives, he conveniently ignores a great number of inconvenient facts... like the "FACT" that conservatives are the group that give the most private money to charity. Further, conservatives believe that they have a God-given right to rob others? Rationality without good intentions? Those are absolutely ludicrous claims.

    There are no "bad intentions" involved in selling a product and employing people to do it while making a profit yourself. Jesus himself used the rich man in a positive light in the parable of the talents. He was due a profit on his investment and rightly punished the servant who failed to produce one.... that's called justice and justice is both rational and well-intentioned.

    This is either abject ignorance or else an intentional lie.

    It would be more accurate to say that conservatives have no patience for the "less fortunate" who are that way because they do deserve it... ie. laziness, irresponsibility, immorality, etc. There is absolutely nothing compassionate about facilitating self-destructive behavior.
     
  5. Scott J

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    You know James. I am really pretty surprised that you would honor someone like this and his conclusions considering how he paints Christians with a broad brush and effectively judges us for believing in standards and justice. Further, he deceptively claims that Christians aren't generous toward the poor. That isn't true. We just don't agree with liberals that we have a right to confiscate wealth from those who earned it and give it to those who didn't. That is basically the reverse of what Jesus praised in the parable of the talents.

    I think it is basically true that liberals think they have a right to dictate to everyone. However, I think many if not most conservatives recognize that responsibility comes with freedom... and one responsibility is to help those in genuine need (vs those who won't help themselves).

    BTW, he failed to mention anything about liberals buying votes with taxpayer dollars.
     
  6. elijah_lives

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    Conservatives conspicuously lack esthetic sensibility, a love of beauty being a concern of women and homosexuals. Show the conservative an Arcadian idyll of rolling fields and ancient oaks and he will see a site for several garish hotels, a parking lot, and a Wal-Mart. Like a congenitally deaf man watching the inexplicable sawings of a symphony orchestra, he is puzzled by conservationists. A dolphin, an elephant, a panda he calculates in terms of cans of dog food at thirty-seven cents per, and, for an additional three cents a can to cover legal contingencies, he would pack his grandmother. He sincerely has no faint idea why anyone might object.

    This is slander, libel, or whatever one would term it. I know nobody like this, and I refuse to hangout with liberals, as a matter of principle.
     
  7. Brother James

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    Relax brother. I just thought the peice was pretty funny and it had some truth to it. have you lost your sense of humor? [​IMG]
     
  8. Scott J

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    Yes and no. Yes. I do laugh at myself and things worthy of laughter. No. I don't think that particular article was very funny. It broad brushed conservatives and Christians as hateful, callous people. This is an untrue stereotype that liberals have indoctrinated the gullible into believing.

    Read a list of policies the "Christian Right" stands for and the majority of Americans will agree with them on each issue and also a majority of the issues. Ask them without qualification if they consider themselves members of the Religious Right and many will answer no... some will recoil in horror at the notion.

    The left has successfully demonized people who value morality, human life, the biblical work ethic, rights, liberties, and responsibility...

    Nothing that helps perpetuate that propaganda is funny.
     
  9. Blackhawkk

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    That was hillarious!

    Basically, conservatives are barbarians and liberals are... oh, there's certain words I would love to use but this being the baptist board I have to refrain. [​IMG]

    Conservatives are barbarians. liberals are...wimps. That's the nicest word I can use.

    Better to be a barbarian than a tree-hugging, whale saving, mother-hen wimp! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Time to get out my bow and go squirel huntin'! And I got my Bible to back me up!

    If Hillary Clinton becomes president we would be the "wimpiest" country in the world! [​IMG]
     
  10. poncho

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    The real difference between liberals and conservatives is liberals love big government and big spending and conservatives love big government and big spending but the conservatives have better "reasons" for it. ;)
     
  11. Scott J

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    Actually, I am not talking about people who say they are conservative to get elected then behave as liberals to stay elected. I am talking about real conservatives in the real world.

    Politicians can't be trusted and that is one of the best possible reasons for decentralizing and diluting power.

    One of the best ways I can think to diminish lobbyists' influence and corruption is to make the number of congressmen roughly the same proportion to the number of votes as it was in 1800... or at least 25% of that representation. For us to have the kind of access and control needed to reign in gov't... there should be several times more representatives than there are.

    I don't think the founders ever intended for the people to have to express their consent through high-priced lobbyists and political insiders with access. They didn't even intend that we should have to go through a political party to get heard. We should have access. They should be visiting our towns and neighborhoods personally to talk to us. More reps, less staff and lobbyists.

    On a related note, Congress should only be allowed to be in session 2 weeks per month... lessens the opportunity to do damage and ensures that they come back to talk to us before voting rather than listening to lobbyists... or worse selling their vote to the highest bidder.
     
  12. poncho

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    Scott for POTUS!!! You'd have my vote brother! ;)
     
  13. Hope of Glory

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    I think he's pointing out the differences between deomcrats and republicans, not liberals and conservatives.
     
  14. poncho

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    Maybe you are right so I'll amend my statement.

    The difference between democrats and republicans is that democrats love big government and big spending and republicans love big government and big spending but the republicans have better "reasons" for it.

    How's that? :D
     
  15. Scott J

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    I now feel somewhat guilty about the bad time I have given you on occasion...

    If you vote for me, I promise that I will not be a member of the Skull & Bones, Illuminati, or Knights Templar... and certainly won't kiss the Hapsburg crest. ;) :D
     
  16. Scott J

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    The actual reason is the same... to buy votes with taxpayer dollars.

    The main difference is that there are a few conservatives among Republican politicians... actually they'd be statesmen rather than politicians. I'd put Coburn from OK in that category for instance.

    There are few statesmen or conservatives in the amongst Democratic politicians right now.

    The only Democratic statesmen I can think of in my lifetime were Moynihan, Zell Miller, and possibly Lieberman... though Lieberman lost alot of respect from me when he teamed up with Gore.
     
  17. Dragoon68

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    That was funny and the first half was true!
     
  18. poncho

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    Hey fagitabotit Scott! Just make sure you stay away from Bohemian Grove too that's non negotiable!!! [​IMG]
     
  19. OldRegular

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    The following article by columnist Holmes Alexander was published 30 or more years ago. It presents the best definition of true Conservative philosophy that I have read. It is not only appropriate for all who are confused about what constitutes the true Conservative philosophy.

    OldRegular

    ‘The Bobbs-Merrill Company, book publishers of the American Heritage Series, have acted better late than never in recognizing the conservative movement that has been booming along for nearly two decades now. The Heritage Series has previously put out books on the New Left and Black Nationalism, agrarian revolt and civil disobedience, literary radicalism and the libertarian theory, and now "belatedly," as the editors admit, they have made William Buckley the collector and commentator of an anthology called "Did You Ever See a Dream Walking” which gives excerpts from the writings of 25 conservative authors.

    As might be expected, the best passages in the volume are those written by Bill Buckley himself. You won't find here any thumbnail definition of conservatism, but will be shown samples of what it is, and be warned away from what it is not. The samplings show that conservatism, among much else, is a form of non violent dissent against — well, materialism, statism, godlessness, immorality.

    Conservatism has a lot to do with free enterprise, little to do with Big Business. Conservatism is a discipline, and thus the enemy of permissiveness It is law-and-order, but not repression. It is good manners and social responsibility, but it has few rules — stops short of maudlin pity for the poor and the minorities. It regards Communism as an unmitigated evil, calls Fascism its “illegitimate” brother, and treats Socialism as an obnoxious poor relation of both.

    Conservatism is individualism, which is to say, personal freedom. The basic freedom, as Gary Wills writes in this book, is that of the human will. It cannot be killed unless the man himself is killed or reduced to a sub-human condition, as has been done in both ancient and modern times by tyrannous states.

    But the individual has an obligation to use his freedom. never to abuse it, as some of our demonstrators of today have abused and debased the freedom of speech.

    The ideal state, says the conservative, is one which recognizes that freedom is not given to anybody by his government, but is protected by the laws of the land, as well as by the policeman on the corner. The state, as the conservative sees it, ought to be the servant and the convenience of the free citizen.

    The state is not even a leader, or should not be because it always fails in such efforts except in time of war. Dr. Milton Friedman. for example, points out that when the government sets out to help the I poor by passing minimum wage laws, it ends up creating unemployment. The welfare laws have merely perpetuated the poverty and idleness of the supposed beneficiaries. While no conservative could be an anarchist, he would eternally be for a government that is as unobtrusive as possible.

    A good many conservatives — two or three in this volume — came to their present beliefs by way of Communism, the god that failed them. Not all of them embraced the Christian religion by way of reaction. As Buckley notes, it is possible for a conservative to disbelieve in a personal God, but it is impossible for a conservative to despise God. The surest synonym, — if there is any — for conservatism is morality. A man cannot be a materialist, or an egocentric, or utterly ruthless, or rudely arrogant and still qualify as a conservative.

    Thus in a famous review of "Atlas Shrugged” Whittaker Chambers, then associate editor of the National Review, read Miss Ayn Rand, the author, completely out of the conservative movement. "Out of a lifetime of reading," Chambers wrote, "I can recall no other book in which the tone of overriding arrogance was so implacably sustained." And the National Review itself publicly excommunicated Robert Welch first because the editors found his conspiratorial theories to be unsound, and second because to keep silent about Mr. Welch under the circumstances might seem to give consent to his unsound ideas.

    I said that conservatism is a dissent, and you will find in this book that it is a dissent against ideas and persons that attempt to enslave the individual.’
     
  20. poncho

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    Cool OR! Now define fascism for us. Enquiring minds would like to know. :D
     

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