The husband is the head of the wife

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Salty, Jul 6, 2013.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    Ephesians 5:23 tells us: For the husband is the head of the wife.

    Do we see the church following this direction of Paul?

    Has womens lib overtaken Scripture. In our society, there are many single mothers who have taught their daughters not to depend on a man, thus marriage may often be more of an economic partnership?

    Does a man give into his wife, especially in spiritual affairs - for example in membership of a church. He might say, "but my wife has attended there since a child". How about a wife does not want to attend Sunday School, (only worship) does the husband forsake SS, ? Suppose a man wants to embark on a ministry - but his wife doesn't?
    Do we see situations like this in our church? If so, what action should be taken? How involved should the Pastor get? How does a husband respond?

    Thoughts?
     
  2. RLBosley

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    The husband and wife submit to each other (Eph 5:21) meaning that they ought to intentionally try to serve each other. The husband being the head of the home means that he is the one that is in the leadership position and ought to have the final say ("final" NOT "only" say) in matters relating to the family, particularly spiritual matters.

    Now, that doesn't mean he should make that decision lightly or just to flaunt his authority. He should consider his wife's needs ABOVE his own, and make the final decision based on what is best for them all (wife and kids) not just what suits him.

    In the scenarios you laid out:
    If the husband wants to change churches then they ought to discuss it, pray about it (apart and together), but ultimately it's his decision.

    Regarding SS - Again, discuss it, pray about it. If need be take separate cars.

    Ministry - Discuss it, pray about it (Surprise! :D). This is a more serious consideration however a it will affect every aspect of their lives. If the wife has a genuine cause for concern then the husband certainly needs to take that into consideration. But if the husband MUST be in ministry then she needs to submit to that.
     
  3. Gib

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    My wife generally does what I ask her to do. I am very careful and thoughtful concerning what I ask my wife to do.
     
  4. Jerome

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    Charles Spurgeon preaching from Romans 16 (v. 3 "Greet Priscilla and Aquila"):

    "I should not wonder but he put them in order according to quality rather than according to the rule of sex. He named Priscilla, first, because she was first in energy of character and attainments in Divine Grace. There is a precedence which, in Christ, is due to the woman when she becomes the leader in devotion and manifests the stronger mind in the things of God. It is well when Nature and Grace both authorize our saying, 'Aquila and Priscilla,' but it is not amiss when Grace outruns Nature and we hear of, 'Priscilla and Aquila.'"
     
  5. annsni

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    Salty - I think I know why you came up with this and I thought the same thing.

    I go where my husband lovingly leads our family. When it was time to change churches, we went. I agreed with him but ultimately it was his decision for the family. It is the same with other decisions in the family. He is great in considering my feelings and my needs along with the rest of the family and will never bully us into doing something we don't want to do but bottom line, HE is responsible for the family before God and I allow him to lovingly, sacrificially lead us.
     
  6. JohnDeereFan

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    I don't believe wives and husbands submit to one another in the context of marriage. Eph 5:21, the verse commonly used to support the mutual submission view is speaking of brothers and sisters in Christ submitting to one another in context of the Body of Christ.

    Paul's instructions to husbands and wives don't begin until the next verse. And think about it logically. If marriage is an illustration of Christ's relationship with His Bride, the Church, do you ever see Christ submitting to the Church?

    That having been said, my wife is a sister in Christ and so I'm obligated to submit to her in that context but, in the marriage context, no.

    My wife submits to my authority and I know that, at times, that's a sacrifice for her. She has taught me more about Biblical manhood and womanhood than anyone else.

    You have to start with the understanding that headship is not merely being "the boss" and certainly not to subjugate my wife or to diminish her role in our marriage in any way, but to prayerfully and thoughtfully consider God's will for our family and deliver that to them and also to coordinate those things they need to grow in holiness and grow in Christ.

    It's also vital to remember that my wife is not a subject, but a helpmeet.

    Sorry if this is rambling, but it's late and I'm on a ton of pain medication.
     
  7. annsni

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    JDF - If you don't mind my asking - why the pain med? I'd like to pray for you.
     
  8. Arbo

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    I rule the roost, and Mrs. Arbo rules the Rooster.
     
  9. annsni

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    Are you saying you're henpecked??? ;)
     
  10. Thousand Hills

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    On this subject, I like this quote from Matthew Henry, and hope that I am the man/husband/father that God has called me to be.

    “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

    Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume
     
  11. Arbo

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    :laugh::laugh::laugh:

    Actually, she's the perfect wife for me. I get ideas and tend to run with them. She keeps me in check. More often than not, when I don't listen to her, I get myself into trouble. One of the wisest women I know.
     
  12. Salty

    Salty
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    Post # 38 of this thread
     
  13. Jerome

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    Wow.

    John Piper found another way to rationalize that passage to his patriarchal notions:

    "It is true that verse 21 puts this whole section under the sign of mutual submission. "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ." But it is utterly unwarranted to infer from this verse that the way Christ submits himself to the church and the way the church submits herself to Christ are the same. The church submits to Christ by a disposition to follow his leadership. Christ submits to the church by a disposition to exercise his leadership in humble service to the church. When Christ said, "Let the leader become as one who serves," he did not mean, let the leader cease to be leader. Even while he was on his knees washing their feet, no one doubted who the leader was. Nor should any Christian husband shirk his responsibility under God to provide moral vision and spiritual leadership as the humble servant of his wife and family."
     
  14. saturneptune

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    This is where my wife has spent the last 36 years. I occasionally let her leave the sink area to get me a cup of coffee, or to tie my shoes.

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Arbo

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    She must be out of town for you to post so boldly...:laugh:
     
  16. annsni

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    If that is her sink, she couldn't be. If she were out of town, there would be a pile of dishes, buffalo wings and chips on the counter. But that is a clean sink with veggies. She MUST be around.
     
  17. Aaron

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    In society at large, Christian or not, and in the church, the man is the head of the woman.

    There could be no "gay marriage" without Feminism.
     
  18. go2church

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    Ok then, so mutual submission is out, final say to husband is in, got it.
     
  19. saturneptune

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    LOL, you got that right, except for the empty Chinese food containers.
     
  20. menageriekeeper

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    Okay so I don't have a "head", being a widow and all. So should I be looking for another or remain single as Paul says is best? :D

    And if we singles and widows can live without a head to turn (cause everyone know that if the man is the head, the woman is the neck which causes the head to turn in the right direction), then why should we bother to marry at all? Paul says marriage causes all sorts of grief. (1 Corinthians 7, if you don't believe me) And if we aren't marrying where does this leave your "headship" doctrine.

    :D
     

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