The Refining of a Burdened and Unworthy Disciple I’m not one who seeks hope from this nation or its leadership. It, and they, have proven themselves incapable of delivering much more than empty promises to secure a vote. Early in my walk as a Christian I was very interested in our “Christian heritage”. It doesn’t really stir my heart anymore. Thousands of preborn babies are killed daily yet in my subconscious mind I held onto the hope that there was a chance for this nation to turn before God poured His judgment upon it. Not any more. Our nations’ children are brainwashed into believing the damnable, godless, garbage we call “public education”. It angers me. Even the body of Christ is found giving its children to the wicked for training. Don’t ask me why. It’s beyond my understanding. Many condemn our youth for seeking meaning in worldly music and sexual immorality. I can’t blame them when I look at the sad state of what we so often call “Christianity” here in America. For lost people seeking meaning, I can’t help but think that more substance is often found in the worlds’ musical Philosophizers that in the “churches” Theologizers. It truly pains me, but not because there is no truth to be found in the Scriptures, but because the “church” is too content loving the world to dig it out and share it with those who hunger for anything meaningful. How can one share what they are unfamiliar with? Compassion is foreign to so many who claim to be yoked with the Messiah who was so often moved with compassion. We are too “educated and knowledgeable” in the scriptures to be moved to tears over the plight of the lost and suffering. After all, can’t we (without emotion) just explain away why some are in such distress without getting all stirred up and involved ourselves? I’m not pessimistic. I’m not losing my faith. I’m seeing ever more clearly that in Messiah is all my hope and apart from Him there is just emptiness posing as substance. So much of what we call “Christianity” is sickening too me and I sympathize with the world when they run from it. I pity those who run after that which is emptiness dressed in religious garb. Brothers and Sisters, read the Gospels. Set apart time to pour through the Scriptures. So much of what you cling too as essential may fall away as you, as a simple child, find the Messiah in those pages. Perhaps your “religion” is what turns your acquaintances away from the true living Messiah. Often they can’t see Him because we are unsure just what he looks like ourselves. Lately I’ve been experiencing something painful and difficult but ever so needful. As my hunger to see the lost saved has grown (and it is still not what it should be) and as my burden to publicly preach has intensified, so have the assaults of the enemy intensified upon my spirit. Compared to many who have stood the test of time, I am just warming in the heat of my refining. The outreach that I have been involved with for years has become much more intense in this mans soul and I am beginning to suffer wounds in the attacks. I don’t like it but I am actually glad and I rejoice that I have been counted worthy to suffer for His name. Oh, that we all would hurt as He hurts and feel the pain He feels as we see this world spiral toward hell. I’m just tasting a little of that, and I don’t want too taste much more. I have found it a very harsh experience. There is so much love for the world left in me and I know that the fire needs to be much hotter as it refines me. Pray for me to be willing to burn for Him. I will pray for my brothers and sisters who want to burn with me.