This guy is a nut.

Discussion in '2007 Archive' started by moondg, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. moondg

    moondg
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2004
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    0
    WHY MOSES WANDERED IN THE DESERT FOR FORTY YEARS: He Lost the Map!


    By Paul Kupperberg

    SINAI PENINSULA — Sometime around the year 1340 B.C., this little patch of sun-baked land was the setting for one of the most heroic escapes in the annals of mankind: the Exodus of the Hebrew people from Egypt.

    “After Moses led the people of Israel from Egypt, they wandered in the Sinai desert for forty years,” said Rabbi Zalman Schmotkin-Fisher of the Moses Studies Institute. “It’s long been a mystery exactly how the Hebrews could have remained lost for so many years in an area approximately the size of Arizona. Why hadn’t the Lord shown them the way?”

    Now, an archaeological dig on the shores of the Red Sea proves that God did show Moses the way.

    “A parchment map was found in a sealed urn not far from the remains of an Egyptian chariot,” said Rabbi Schmotkin-Fisher. “We surmise that Moses dropped it in the rush to get across the Red Sea before the parted waters came back together.

    “It was etched by I Am’s own flaming finger, plainly mapping the way to the Promised Land. Remarkably, had they followed the Lord’s route, the trek would have taken the Israelites about a month, tops.”

    “This explains so much,” Rabbi Schmotkin-Fisher said, “especially why God didn’t let Moses enter the Promised Land.

    “You know how angry your wife gets when you won’t pull over and ask for directions?” the rabbi asked. “Imagine how irate the Almighty gets when you pull the same thing on Him!” This is sad. How can people say this stuff with a straight face.
     
  2. Petra-O IX

    Petra-O IX
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,086
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yep! This guy is a nut but you can't take him seriously anyway. Kupperberg used to write for the defunct Weekly World News which was famous for it's weird and outlandish stories. The story of Moses losing the map was probably meant to be tongue in cheek.
     
  3. tinytim

    tinytim
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/tim2.jpg>

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2003
    Messages:
    11,250
    Likes Received:
    0
    MOSES:
    Yo.. Honey... have you seen the map?

    MOSES' WIFE:
    No... I bet you lost it... I told you not to lose it... Now what are you going to do? ... you can't do anything right.... And why didn't you place it in a secure place? NOOOO..... you wouldn't trust me with it.. now see what you've done.... (nag, nag, nag)

    MOSES:
    Goes over to a rock and starts banging his head against it....
     
  4. av1611jim

    av1611jim
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Messages:
    3,511
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very funny Tim. I would amend your story this way.

    Since they lived in a tent and banging the walls would be pointless , Moses takes his stick outside and starts banging on a ROCK!
     
  5. tinytim

    tinytim
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/tim2.jpg>

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2003
    Messages:
    11,250
    Likes Received:
    0
    [​IMG]

    Now where did I put that map?
     

Share This Page

Loading...