TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS- Why does God put us through them?

Discussion in 'Other Christian Denominations' started by Claudia_T, Apr 15, 2006.

  1. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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    Has God ever put you through some major trials and tribulations in your life? Looking back on them now, what did you learn from them, if anything? Are you better off now because of them?

    How can we know if the trials we are going to are of our own creation, like what we sow we reap... or if they are coming from God? Does it make a difference? Will God use them regardless?

    What if it seems like the trial you are going through will never have an ending?

    What if you have prayed and prayed, asking God to help you but it seems like nothing happens?

    What if you have tried to put away all your sins and do everything you could think of, thinking that maybe God wanted to arrest you in your path and reprove you so that you would get onto the correct path, but still nothing happens?

    What if you are relying only on Jesus and so you know thats not the problem?

    Has anyone else ever gone through severe trials not undrstanding why all these things were coming upon them? Have you wondered if God were angry with you? Did it seem like one thing after another happened to you, and you just couldnt figure out the reasons why God would allow these things to happen to you all of a sudden? Like one day you wake up and your entire world has changed with no explanation?

    Did it make you wonder if God didnt want you around any more? and did you waffle back and forth between trust in God's providence and then shifting over to giving into the temptation of listening to the devil when he tells you that God has cast you off?

    Claudia
     
  2. Chemnitz

    Chemnitz
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    If you can answer yes to these questions then your name is Job. [​IMG] [​IMG] :D
     
  3. Dustin

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    Because the LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away,blessed be the name of the LORD.
     
  4. Jarthur001

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    Job..yes. Or another person...James..that's me..
    and oh yes...Mary..and Joe. and how about ann...and sally may...uncle harry. hey..lets face it. that's life. it happens to all of use sometimes.

    We can not understand it when we are going though it...but looking back, we see God at work. We may not have thought he was there when the bad things happen to us....but later we more clearly His Plan.

    In Christ...James
     
  5. Jarthur001

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    To address the OP...WHY DOES GOD DO THIS?

    It is to bring glory to God.


    In Chrsit...James
     
  6. mima

    mima
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    Claudia, do you have been the nerve to ask God if you're in the church( denomination) He wants you in? Only you can answer this question and only you can ask that question.
     
  7. music4Him

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    Luk 12:48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

    I figure we go through trials as a test to step up to another level. Hat don't kill us makes us stronger. The main thing is to learn from them so we don't go back around that mountian again. [​IMG]
     
  8. tinytim

    tinytim
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    Claudia, you expressed, what I felt today.... It is nice to hear that other Christians feel the same way sometimes...

    I need your prayers....
    Satan if buffeting me on everyside, it feels like.
    but I know that God has the power, and that he just isn't the God of the past, or God of the Future, but the God of now!

    I believe that whatever we go through, God uses to benefit us, and glorify him... it may not be comfortable to go through, but He never promised comfort..

    His ultimate goal is to conform us into the image of his son, Jesus. Sometimes, He has to burn things away in order to do that... during those periods it can feel that God is sooooo distant.

    It all boils down to faith... knowing that God is in control of everything. Praise Him! After all, that is all we can do.... Praise Him in the Storm! When everything is falling apart, He is still in control... So praise Him!

    I know it is hard... it is not natural... But that is the beauty of it... it is SUPERnatural... and it shows God we trust him.

    OK, now I feel like preaching, I'd better save it until in the morning!
     
  9. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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    tinytim,

    You have no idea how comforting it is to me just knowing you can undestand how I feel. I will certainly pray for you and you please pray for me too, ok? I could really use your payers right now

    Its like one day, everything seems to be going along "okay" or at least tolerable. Then the next day my whole world is falling apart and its difficult to understand exactly what it is that God is trying to tell me, and/or teach me.

    When I first got married I thought my husband was a Christian, but ever since then he has been trying to talk me out of having faith in God and the Bible. Throughout our 6 year marriage he has threatened to hit me, etc, but hasnt as of yet. In fact during the first year, he had said something and I was upset and said I had wished I never came to be with him, and we were in the kitchen and he pulls thisr knife out of the drawer and holds it up as if he were going to hurt me with it. Then he shakes his head and acts like he "snapped out of it". Later when we were sitting at the kitchen table, he tells me his "psychiatrist told him he has homocidal and suicidal tendencies but that he wasnt too concerned about it". And I thought "Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into?"

    That was the only time he has done anything that drastic, since then just holding his hand up like he was going to hit me. But he hasnt actually done that though.

    Anyway, all this time I have been trying SO hard to just do what the Bible says and it says if you have an unbelieving husband you are supposed to stay with them unless they be pleased to leave you. So Ive been trying to be a good example as a Christian and so on.

    About 6 months or so ago it just got where I couldnt hardly stand it any longer and I just felt so alone. I prayed to God and told Him that I was going to make new efforts though to try and be a good wife, a good example to him, because the Bible says you might win them over to Christ by doing so. Well all he did was get angry at me because I didnt want to do the kinds of things he wanted... go to nightclubs, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and so on. He just acted so differently when I had met him. Told me he was a Minister, and etc. He is of a different denomination than I am but acted like he had started to believe many of the same doctrines that I do.

    Anyway I had told God that I couldnt stand it anymore and that if He wanted me to get out of this marriage to please help me to understand that and to help me. I also old God I couldnt stand living right on Main Street anymore with the cars, trucks, buses going by our house all the time, it was making it difficult for me to breathe.

    So okay everything is going along pretty well, Its tolerable, etc... then one morning I wake up and my entire world is falling apart.

    The city decides the rent house we are living in must be torn down because they are going to build a new post office there in that area... so we HAD to move out and the Landlord moves us to another one of his houses... lots further away from Main Street, and Im thinking wow God thanks, this is great! and we move to this new rent house with two bedrooms, lots bigger than the other place and Im experiencing some actual happiness for a bit.


    Well suddenly he starts practically living in this other bedroom, sleeping there, etc and hardly ever at home, he wouldnt ever tell me where he was going, when he would be back, etc... If I'd knock on his door and go in, he would shut down his computer really quick and act like he was going to hit me... etc. So I figured well ok this means he must be having an affair with someone, which wouldnt surprise me at all, given some of the things he has told me.


    Then I kept praying for God to help me be a good wife and so on... and I look up something on the internet about domestic abuse and come across this site about something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And I just about freak out because I was reading the online book someone had written about it and it was like this guy who wrote it, describing what it is, had been living with my husband all his life. And it was like, How does this guy know all of these things? Like my husband fit all this stuff to a tee. It was frightening. Basically it said these people only care about themselves and will do anything at all to get "Narcissistic Supply".. meaning adoration, attention, people bowing down to them ... They will use people, put everybody down all the time, and so on. They are very sadistic and enjoy hurting people... especially the one they get married to. And it said if they figure they cant use you for anything they will dump you, just like that, out of the blue and usually at the very worst time of your life.

    So Im thinking, ok why is God showing all of this to me now? what am I supposed to do with this informtion?

    A few days later he goes out of town (which he does frequently) and soon as he leaves which was in the start of February, I wake up and its freezing in the house. It turns out he left without paying the heating oil bill. Well I only mke a couple hundred dollars or so a month doing web design, so I couldnt afford the $360 for the heating bill and I sent him an email asking if he could send me money to pay it, plus it usually takes days before they'll even come out to fill the heating oil thing anyway.

    See, all along, since we moved to this new place hes been making me pay for everything all of a sudden, like if Id ask him to go get some groceries he would say ok but then never do it till finally I'd offer to pay for them. And my bank account was dwindling down to just about nothing by now.

    So I was pretty upset that he left without paying the heating oil bill. I asked what he was going to pull next, leave town and not pay the rent? So he says well how about if I just dont come home then? Then he writes me this email saying he is leaving me and that he hates my religion. Which is stupid because Ive hardly even talked about my religion to him. But every time I'd turn around he would be trying to talk me out of being a Christian. I havent been to church in about 6 years now, since I dont want to go anywhere with him.

    I have been basically isolating myself for the last 6 years from people, I didnt want to go anywhere with him. So anyway I starting getting really upset, I didnt have anywhere to go and he had said he was leaving me and that I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I didnt have anywhere to go. I called to find out if my parents might help me, and was told they got over a million dollars from the house they had and moved to Holland and that they really werent my parents, I was adopted.

    So then I REALLY got upset, and started pacing around the house, wondering what I was going to do and the next day my foot was all swollen, I had reinjured my foot that I had injured over 20 years ago when I went dancing all night, which of course I shoudnt of done.


    Then Im thinking, well now I REALLY cant get a job, if I cant walk. It made me realize that if I did over and above normal housework type stuff that I could re-injure it. I dont think my foot was ever properly treated in the first place.

    So a christian lady in a chat room told me I ought to try and get Social Security Disability, which her husband gets because he walks with a cane. So I thought that might be a good idea I would try that. So I went to the doctors thinking they probably wouldnt do anything about my actual foot injury like last tiome but that maybe since its been 20 years ago they might have better tests they can can and I could at least get it documented that I have an injury and perhaps get on Social Security Disability.

    I expected it would just get better on its own like last time and there wouldnt be any more problem with it. This was about 2 months ago.

    My foot has gotten progressively worse, it turns purple/blue if I sit down at my computer or in a chair. The doctor said she thinks it as nerve damage and is going to have her assistant do tests on the 26 of April. Im have to practically beg my husband to take me to the doctors appointments. It has gotten to where I nearly have to lie down on my right side, in the bed, to keep my foot from actig up and Im going nuts having to lie in bed all the time this way. Im scared of course, wondering whats going on with it and if they will find out and make it better. or am I going to be lying down the rest of my life or what?


    Ok so he tells me hes leaving me, I have no money and no place to go, I find out my parents arent really my parents, I reinjure my foot and am basically helpless and couldnt leave even if I wanted to (which I do at this point)...

    Then day before yesterday my sister in law writes and tells me my husands father is dying of cancer (which my husband didnt think was worth telling me)... Then she calls last night and says he probably wont make it through the night.


    I have called and written all sorts of places, different churches denominations, etc and everybody says they ae praying for me... well a whole lot of good that does for me, right?

    I have done everything I could think of, inspecting my woul, in heart putting away all my sins, relying only on the righteousness of Christ, praying, crying, praying, crying.. trusting in God, and everything else..

    But I just do not understand what is going on or what God is trying to do with me???

    It is so difficult to try and figure out what Im supposed to do and what it is exactly that God is trying to teach me.

    One thing Ive learned is God is my only hope. If anyone is going to get me out of this situation it will have to be Him.


    And a couple of times it has felt like I was going to die and at those times I learned total reliance on the sacrifice of Christ. You can kind of know these things in theory but when it comes to facing death you learn it in a whole different way... like in reality.

    I finally called the local Methodist church and they are going to help me with getting me to doctors appointments, so thats good at least.

    Anyway I am totally confused right about now. Sometimes I wonder if God has abandoned me, sometimes I wonder if He is answering my prayers and is going to get me away from him, sometimes I think maybe God sees dangers up ahead that I cant see and is protecting me somehow from them even though it doesnt seem like it...

    ..I just dont know.


    Claudia
     
  10. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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    mima,

    No, I dont think so... I am completely settled about what denomination I belong in. Thats not the problem.

    Claudia
     
  11. Claudia_T

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    Actually, I have nobody to blame but myself for being stupid enough to get involved with him. But still, I cant undo the past, I only can try to redeem the time now.

    One thing this has made me realize is how very precious it is that we have been given the privilege and the ability to go out and spread the gospel message to everyone and also to be able to help those who are in need of help.. like with food, clothing, encouragement and whatever they might need. It is our duty and privilege to relieve human suffering.

    Now I really really realize these things and I know Ive wasted the last 6 years of my life because of my own stupidity.

    But I want to change everything now, except that I cant do much if I have this foot problem and cant get out of bed, except to do basic stuff.

    I guess its really difficult not to let my mind wander off in all different directions, Im trying to keep my mind on the promises of God and to trust with all my heart in His love and His providences.

    But every once in awhile its like Satan comes along and tries to get me to think God has abandoned me or is punishing me or that Im going to be like this forever.

    Ive learned so much through all of this. But Im still confused about what exactly all of this is supposed to mean. and I dont have a clue what I am going to do.

    If anybody wants to pray for me I'd sure appreciate it.


    I have been reading some Bible promises and also some counseling on trials and tribulations and they are helping alot. Its just hard knowing which things apply to me though since I feel like I practically got my own self into this situation in the first place...

    Reading all of this has helped me alot and if anyone has any other insights feel free to post them...


    But now, O Israel, the Lord who created you says: “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.........Others died that you might live.........
    You are honored, and I love you. Isaiah 43:1-4


    "Satan is exultant when he can lead the children of God into unbelief and despondency. He delights to see us mistrusting God, doubting His willingness and power to save us. He loves to have us feel that the Lord will do us harm by His providences. It is the work of Satan to represent the Lord as lacking in compassion and pity. He misstates the truth in regard to Him. He fills the imagination with false ideas concerning God; and instead of dwelling upon the truth in regard to our heavenly Father, we too often fix our minds upon the misrepresentations of Satan and dishonor God by distrusting Him and murmuring against Him" (Steps to Christ pg. 116)


    The Ministry of Healing, page 472, paragraph 2
    Chapter Title: Help in Daily Living
    "In the full light of day, and in hearing of the music of other voices, the caged bird will not sing the song that his master seeks to teach him. He learns a snatch of this, a trill of that, but never a separate and entire melody. But the master covers the cage, and places it where the bird will listen to the one song he is to sing. In the dark, he tries and tries again to sing that song until it is learned, and he breaks forth in perfect melody. Then the bird is brought forth, and ever after he can sing that song in the light. Thus God deals with His children. He has a song to teach us, and when we have learned it amid the shadows of affliction we can sing it ever afterward."


    Chapter Title: Love for the Erring and Tempted
    "Sweet Promises of God . Now, do not worry yourself out of the arms of the dear Saviour, but rest trustingly in faith. He loves you; He cares for you. He is blessing you, and will give you His peace and grace. He is saying to you, "Thy sins be forgiven thee" [Matt. 9:2]. You may be depressed with bodily infirmities, but that is not evidence that the Lord is not working in your behalf every day. He will pardon you, and that abundantly. Gather to your soul the sweet promises of God. Jesus is our constant, unfailing Friend, and He wants you to trust in Him."

    Chapter Title: Love for the Erring and Tempted
    "God is at work, and Satan also is at work. Satan would have our minds drawn away from the mighty Helper, to ponder over our degradation of soul, and feel that all its powers are being wasted and God dishonored. Look away from yourself to the perfection of Christ."

    Chapter Title: Love for the Erring and Tempted
    Offer of Free Pardon . Jesus sees the guilt of the past, and speaks pardon, and we must not dishonor Him by doubting His love. This feeling of guiltiness must be laid at the foot of the cross of Calvary. The sense of sinfulness has poisoned the springs of life and of true happiness. Now Jesus says, "Lay it all on Me. I will take your sins. I will give you peace. Banish no longer your self-respect, for I have bought you with the price of My own blood. You are Mine. Your weakened will I will strengthen; your remorse for sin I will remove."

    In Heavenly Places, page 265, paragraph 1
    Chapter Title: Under God's Discipline
    Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: for he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole. Job 5:17, 18.
    Our heavenly Father does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men. He has His purpose in the whirlwind and in the storm, in the fire and in the flood. The Lord permits calamities to come to His people to save them from greater dangers. He desires everyone to examine his own heart closely and carefully, and then draw near to God, that God may draw near to him.

    Our life is in the hands of God. He sees dangers threatening us that we cannot see. He is the giver of all our blessings; the provider of all our mercies; the orderer of all our experiences. He sees the perils that we cannot see. He may permit to come upon His people that which fills their hearts with sadness, because He sees that they need to make straight paths for their feet, lest the lame be turned out of the way. He knows our frame, and remembers that we are dust. Even the very hairs of our head are numbered. He works through natural causes to lead His people to remember that He has not forgotten them, but that He desires them to forsake the way which, if they were permitted to follow unchecked and unreproved, would lead them into great peril. Trials come to us all to lead us to investigate our hearts, to see if they are purified from all that defiles. Constantly the Lord is working to our present and eternal good. . . .

    Every soul that is saved must be a partaker with Christ of His sufferings, that he may be a partaker with Him of His glory. How few understand why God subjects them to trial. It is by the trial of our faith that we gain spiritual strength. The Lord seeks to educate His people to lean wholly upon Him. . . .

    Let everyone examine his own course of action. Let everyone ask himself whether he is meeting the standard that God has placed before him. Can we say from the heart, I lay aside my own will? "I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart"? Do we ask daily, "Lord, what is thy will concerning me?"
    My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: for whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. Prov. 3:11, 12.
    God brings men into trying places to see if they will trust in a power out of and above themselves. He sees not as man sees. He often has to break up human connections and change the order which man has mapped out, which is perfect in his estimation. What man thinks is for his spiritual and temporal interests may be altogether at variance with the experience he must have in order to be a follower of Christ. His idea of his own value may be far out of the way.

    Tests are placed all along the way from earth to heaven. It is because of this that the road to heaven is called the narrow way. Character must be tested, else there would be many spurious Christians who would keep up a fair semblance of religion until their inclinations, their desire to have their own way, their pride and ambition, were crossed. When by the Lord's permission sharp trials come to them, their lack of genuine religion, of the meekness and lowliness of Christ, shows them to be in need of the work of the Holy Spirit.

    Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. 1 Peter 4:12, 13.

    Not without a purpose does God send trial to His children. He never leads them otherwise than they would choose to be led if they could see the end from the beginning, and discern the glory of the purpose which they are fulfilling as workers together with Him. He subjects them to discipline to humble them, to lead them, through trial and affliction, to see their weakness and draw near to Him. . . .

    Christians are Christ's jewels. They are to shine brightly for Him, shedding forth the light of His loveliness. Their luster depends on the polishing they receive. They may choose to be polished or to remain unpolished. But everyone who is pronounced worthy of a place in the Lord's temple must submit to the polishing process. Without the polishing that the Lord gives, they can reflect no more light than a common pebble. Christ says to man, You are mine. I have bought you. You are now only a rough stone; but if you will place yourself in My hands, I will polish you, and the luster with which you shall shine will bring honor to My name. No man shall pluck you out of My hand. I will make you My peculiar treasure. On My coronation day, you will be a jewel in My crown of rejoicing.

    The Divine Worker spends little time on worthless material. Only the precious jewels does He polish after the similitude of a palace, cutting away all rough edges. This process is severe and trying; it hurts human pride. Christ cuts deep into the experience that man in his self-sufficiency has regarded as complete and takes away self-uplifting from the character. He cuts away the surplus surface, and putting the stone to the polishing wheel, presses it close, that all roughness may be worn away. Then, holding the jewel up to the light, the Master sees in it a reflection of Himself, and He pronounces it worthy of a place in His casket. Blessed be the experience, however severe, that gives new value to the stone.

    Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Cor. 12:10.

    And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God. Zech. 13:9.

    By trial the Lord proves the strength of His children. Is the heart strong to bear? Is the conscience void of offense? Does the Spirit bear witness with our spirit that we are the children of God? This the Lord ascertains by trying us. In the furnace of affliction He purifies us from all dross. He sends us trials, not to cause needless pain, but to lead us to look to Him, to strengthen our endurance, to teach us that if we do not rebel, but put our trust in Him, we shall see of His salvation. . . .

    Christ's love for His children is as strong as it is tender. It is a love stronger than death, for He died for us. It is a love more true than that of a mother for her children. The mother's love may change, but Christ's love is changeless. "I am persuaded," Paul says, "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom. 8:38, 39).

    Nothing wounds the soul like the sharp darts of unbelief. When trial comes, as it will, do not worry or complain. Silence in the soul makes more distinct the voice of God. "Then are they glad because they be quiet" (Ps. 107:30). Remember that underneath you are the everlasting arms. "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him" (Ps. 37:7). He is guiding you into a harbor of gracious experience.

    That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:7.

    But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. Lam 3:32,33.

    This world is the scene of our trials, our griefs, our sorrows. We are here to bear the test of God. The fire of the furnace is to kindle till our dross is consumed and we come forth as gold purified in the furnace of affliction. . . . Light will come out of this darkness which to you at times seems incomprehensible. "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). Let this be the language of your heart. The cloud of mercy is hovering over your head even in the darkest hour. God's benefits to us are as numerous as the drops of rain falling from the clouds upon the parched earth to water and refresh it. The mercy of God is over you.


    Claudia
     
  12. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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    tinytim,

    thatpost above was for you, maybe some of those writings will give encouragement to you as they have helped me alot to get through this.

    Claudia
     
  13. gekko

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    why does God put us through them?

    simply because he promised there would be trials, tribulations, and temptations.

    but from that, we grow.
     
  14. tinytim

    tinytim
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    Claudia, nothing I am going through compares to what you are!!

    I will certainly pray for you.
    Let me ask you a question.

    What have you learned about Christ in the last year? In what ways has your trials brought you closer to God?

    Could there be someone in your life that is watching you, seeing how you handle your trials, that may be brought to Christ from what you do?

    These are questions that have helped me.
    You are certainly in my prayers.

    tiny
     
  15. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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  16. tinytim

    tinytim
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    You may be surprised when you get to Heaven and who will be there because of how you handle your situation.... By the way... We had a teen age boy get saved today at Sunrise service! No wonder Satan was fighting so hard this week.

    Still praying for you!
    tiny
     
  17. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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    How wonderful! Wish I couldve seen it... Yes, Satan can see when somebody is leaning towards God and he does all he can to stop it. But praise God when he doesnt succeed!

    Claudia
     
  18. Eric B

    Eric B
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    I'll have to tackle all of this more when I get home today but suffice it to say for now, that a lot of this teaching of all the pain in our lives being something God does to us for our good is a great misunderstanding. Scriptures on "trials" are basically taken out of context, and even the meaning of words such as "chasten" and "scourge" is not properly interpreted (in our context, it is spiritual).
    Then, we often go around "comforting" the suffering with speculation about how it is good for the person. What's worse, is based on this philosophy, we then begin judging sufferers who do not get over their bad reactions; after all, if God is doing it for their good, then by not being happy and "thankful", they are sinning and "despising the chastening of the Lord". "Trusting God" basically becomes a philosophy of positive thinking, with some unknown "good" being what we trust Him for, rather than salvation. Then, since this teaching is so "hard", we have managed to turn it into a multimillion dollar industry, with all the books and tapes sold, preachers who have reached celebrity status, etc. People here often criticize the likes of Joyce Meyers, but this is the whole basis of her teaching, including the "word faith" stuff we don't like.

    I'm sorry for you, Claudia, as I was dealing with an abusive alcoholic agnostic father when I became a Christian, and what made it so much worse was that all I got from Christians was "God must be doing this for your good", and then judgment when I still didn't become "content". It just led to me running away to the Air Force, where Imet more judgmental Christians who didn't understand, and then suffered a complete breakdown. Now, almost 20 years later, I see how this teaching is wrong, scriptually. So don't blame yourself.

    Here is where I deal with this:
    Http://members.aol.com/etb700/abundant.html
     
  19. Claudia_T

    Claudia_T
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    Eric,


    I understand a bit where you are coming from, I think.

    One of the problems I'm having is that I grew up in an abusive home. And it makes it where you have this atmosphere about yourself where you are easily spotted by people who are abusive and looking for "victims". I cant explain it but you just kind of look and act like someone who is easy to abuse. But you dont really consciously realize that and so you think that someone is really a nice person and is your friend and so on... when in reality they arent. Then you end up in this sort of "cycle"...

    Then because you are a Christian, you arent supposed to talk about your own parents abusing you, and you arent supposed to talk about your own husband abusing you... and so its like a triple burden on you. And somehow everything ends up being "your fault" and the people who did this too you end up being perceived as the victims because you dared to say something about it.

    Because you sense this is what will happen anyway if you ever say anything about it, you dont, and you hold it in for years and years. Then you wonder about God and why He is doing all of this to you, and why is it that you have to go through all of this and bear this burden of not even being able to talk about it to anybody. The you wonder if perhaps God must of just "had it in" for you since you were born.

    In my case, my mother was a Catholic Nun and into Automatic writing, a Spiritualist. And so I wondered all my life about the fact that the Bible says God would do this and that to the third and fourth generations, like put a curse or something. So I wondered if I must have God's curse on me.

    Anyway these are some of the things Ive been suffering through. With all these current problems I am facing, I just couldnt deal with it anymore
     
  20. Eric B

    Eric B
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    It is well known that people who were abused then look easy to abuse. That then is why it keeps happening to some. My wife, who is becoming a Christian psychologist was recently explaining this to me regarding child molestation, though I forget the details at the moment.

    It seems to me that many Christians do not have as many answers as they'd like to think they have. So they just come up with pat answers, platitudes and clichés that re designed to pacify the person, and if it doesn't, the you just put a guit trip on him; "he doesn't want help" they often say, and there, it still looks like they have the answers. And the, many have turned this teaching into profit, as I have pointed out. But we are in a fallen world, and most of this stuff happens to anyone, including non-Christians, rather than pain just being some "test" God afflicts his people with. What made it even more confusing was that many Christians mixed in this, as well as the "maybe it's the natural consequence of your actions" (or "sins") to the standard "God is testing you". In our lives today, it is most likely the former, and sometimes the second thing, than the latter. We shouldn' speculate so much on the unknown (all the while telling people not to lean on their 'understanding'. )
     

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