Turkey carols

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by Alcott, Nov 27, 2013.

  1. Alcott

    Alcott
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    I HEARD THE BELLS

    The dinner bell on Turkey Day—
    It’s time to eat, so—quick!—let’s pray,
    Then fill our plate, and up our weight.
    We’ll spare no fat and spill no sauce.

    With light or dark meat—one or both—
    We’ll sense our bellies’ sated growth.
    And cornbread dressing, what a blessing—
    Spare no broth and spill no sauce.

    There’s mashed potatoes, candied yams;
    For non-bird eaters, there’s a ham;
    Green beans and corn and rolls adorn
    The cloth on which we spill no sauce.

    The giblets of the bird are made
    Into the gravy, once they’re flayed.
    Boiled eggs are sliced, then later spiced,
    To round the feast as we spill no sauce.

    Then even though we’d such an eye,
    We can’t resist the pumpkin pie,
    Topped with whipped cream; but now we dream,
    We’re fast asleep and we spill the sauce!
    ----------------------------------------------------

    LET US EAT! LET US EAT! LET US EAT!

    O the turkey is carved and ready,
    And the guests are staid and steady.
    Preparations are now complete.
    Let us eat! Let us eat! Let us eat!

    As we offer anew the blessing,
    Then we pass around the dressing,
    And potatoes-- both mashed and sweet--
    Let us eat! Let us eat! Let us eat!

    When it’s fin’lly time for the pie
    We may have to retire to the couch.
    And we offer a great big sigh
    While our tummies churn up as they pouch!

    Now we can’t watch the games on TV
    ‘Cause we’re much too full and sleepy.
    But then, later on, we’ll repeat:
    “Let us eat! Let us eat! Let us eat!”
    ---------------------------------------------------

    UP ON THE TABLE

    Up on the table: “Chomp! CHomp! Chomp!”
    Sounds through much Thanksgiving pomp.
    Turkey and trimmings all around--
    Hard to devour without that sound!

    Gobble, gobble gobble! Who wouldn’t hobble
    Gobble, gobble gobble! Who wouldn’t squabble
    To get to the table-- quick! quick! quick!--
    And grab for the turkey’s best drumstick?
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    DECK YOUR PLATE

    Deck your plate with dark or white meat.
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
    (The) question’s not who may or might eat.
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
    Everyone who’s been invited--
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!—
    Will have indigestion cited!
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!—
    -------------------------------------------------------------

    O LITTLE TURKEY

    O little turkey, hot and brown,
    How still you look today--
    For not so very long ago
    You fought bravely on your way
    To that big house of slaughter,
    Where they chopped off your head.
    So on this day when you were cooked
    We’re glad that we bought you-- dead!
     
  2. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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  3. saturneptune

    saturneptune
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    [​IMG]

    If only Israeli spy John Pollard were a turkey, he would be free by now.
     

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