What Defines a pastor Being abusive?

If it's from the Word...preach, preacher, preach.

 

"Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee." (1Tim 4:16).

A pastor is to be constantly bringing his life and work under scrutiny. In so doing he saves himself & those who are under his charge. By constantly reviewing his own walk with God and what he is teaching, the preacher saves himself from the charge of hypocrisy, because he will practice what he preaches, he will be careful in all he says and does, he cannot be accused or reproached for his behaviour, his faithfulness, the way he composes himself, the nature of his relationship with the opposite sex etc.

A pastor is abusive when he overlords God's flock, when his opinion is the only opinion that matters.

He is abusive when he is motivated by financial gain, and money is his primary consideration.

He is abusive when he intimidates others, verbally or physically.

He is abusive when he wrests the Scriptures to his personal advantage.

He is abusive when he use "pastoral authority" as a weapon.

He is abusive when he "commands" people to obey his word.

A pastor must always check his motives, as well as his actions.

 

Ulsterman,
That is a great definition!

Having no compassion also fits in there somewhere.

 

Every preacher should be willing to speak the truth, to tell the whole counsel of God whether it makes him friends or enemies. Sometimes the truth hurts, but our words should be gracious, seasoned with salt. Our rebukes should be measured and we should remember people are fragile.

The preacher is not to just rail and rant against sin and wrongdoing, but he is to carefully point out error. Again in 1Tim 4, Paul said, that the pastor is to "put the brethren in remembrance" in those matters where error lies. The word translated "remembrance" (Gk. hupotithemi) means – “to point out”. It doesn't mean one must be abusive, unkind or obnoxious, but rather the preacher is to carefully remind or suggest to those under his charge that certain groups or individuals are in sin.

This Greek word paints a wonderful word picture of how the minister is to do this. The word literally means "to place under" and it pictures stepping stones being placed under the feet so as to accommodate someone travelling over treacherous ground. In other words we are to help people see their faults and the errors of others in such a way as to aid their walk with God.

 

Tim_D,

Do unto others. Talk to them the way
you'd like to be talked to.

Doesn't mean you have to shout, and spit,
and pound the pulpit and end every sentence
with a loud "ZAH!"

"You better give your tithes-ZAH!!!"

And as someone who has heard a lot of different
preachers, I can tell you that I know the difference
between someone who is just up there angry and
yelling and which one is preaching God's message.

And God's message is sometimes hard to hear.

 

An abusive pastor is one that is first in line at a pot luck and there is nothing left for the second person.

 

Now you've done it! You've gone to meddlin!

 

You preach the Word, let the deacons do the rest. I know a pastor who wore himself out, to the point of exhaustion and burn out, while his deacons couldn't even make weekly telephone contacts. A one-man-show will break the best of us. When we're tired, we are impatient.

:jesus:

 

Abusive Pastor

I would add that a kingdom mentality is a sign of abusiveness. Kingdom mentality defined as I am the king, the pulpit is my throne, and you are my subjects and all that we do is for the building of my legacy.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen this very attitude in churches with long time pastors. And no I am not against long time pastors, we just need to check our motives from time to time.

 

There is a very good book on this subject entitled "The Subtile Power of Spiritual Abuse". Its subtitle is "Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church". It is published by Bethany House Publishers, Minneapolis, Minnesota 55438. Copyright 1991. ISBN 1-55661-160-9

The authors are David Johnson (a senior pastor) and Jeff VanVonderen (a pastor of counseling).