What do you look for in a husband/wife?

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by Dixie Girl, Jun 12, 2002.

  1. Dixie Girl

    Dixie Girl
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    I am not married yet, but the other day my friend and I decided to make a list of the qualities that we want in our husbands. What would you look for in yours? Mine are as follows:
    1.Must be saved ( and a christian)
    2.have musical talent
    3. being dashingly handsome wouldn't hurt :D
    4. must want a family
    5. Want to serve the Lord
    6. like some of the things I do.
    Is that to much to ask? I didn't think so , but if the right person comes along and is missing a few off the list I think I could make exceptions :D Thanks for reading.

    Jess
     
  2. MissAbbyIFBaptist

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    I'm not married either,but I do have some thoughts on this.
    1. He MUST be saved.
    2. He must be willing to serve the Lord. {you know...Like he should not be a carnel Christian who dosn't find church or God that importannt}
    3. Must be willing to take charge of family and lead us in the right direction.
    4. He must be willing to except the fact that I may not be able to have children, and love me anyway.}
    5.agreeing on Biblical doctrines would definatly help.
    6.I hope He has patience :D {cause I talk a lot :D }
    7.He must love me {witch is kind of hard to do, so it will be a miracle if someone is crazy enough to marry me!}
    But whatever happens, it is God's will, so, for mow, I won't worry about it.
    YSAFIC,
    Abby [​IMG]
     
  3. Brother Adam

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    Hrm....well it does say husband/wife right?

    These are the things that I would list:

    1. Strives to serve the Lord in every area of their life.
    2. On fire for Christ and has a stable relationship with Him.
    3. Realizes their shortfallings and doesn't let them get in the way.
    4. Shows a concern for those around them.
    5. Their personality clicks well with my own.
    6. Our futures are leading us in the same direction.
    7. We see a clear calling from God to work in the ministry together.
    8. We are able to serve the Lord in a strong courtship before marriage.
    9. Relates well with their family (you want to spend as much time with your boyfriend/girlfriends family as possible- this is how they will act in their own families someday).

    Those are a few of the many important things in looking for a future spouse.

    Brother Adam
     
  4. Aki

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    1. submissive (the best quality that makes a husband go home as early as possible to see his wife)

    2. does not get angry, lonely or husband-insulting at times of financial crisis (the quality that will make the husband work hard for his wife's happiness instead of his wife's tameness.)

    3. able to stay home most of the time without getting bored during her single years ('coz i am like that too. :D )

    4. pretty (this, of course, is negotiable, depending on how i look myself :eek: )

    [ June 12, 2002, 10:53 PM: Message edited by: Aki ]
     
  5. SaggyWoman

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    What do I look for now that I am looking for a spouse?

    I am not married, but I think that the Lord has brought me to the man that I will eventually marry. Indeed, he fits the qualities I had been searching for. Now, I am waiting for it to happen--and nevertheless am not really patient.

    He is:

    1.) A growing Christian and loves the Lord with all his heart, mind, and soul.

    2.) He loves and works well with children.

    3.) He is a big man and is furry.

    4.) He loves to work. He loves to play.

    5.) He is very compassionate and doesn't meet a stranger. But he is a quiet man.

    6.) He is a maturing Christian, and knows the Bible.

    7.) He is intelligent, with common sense.

    8.) He works with his hands.

    9.) Desires to serve the Lord with his life.

    10.) That he be a man's man (and a manly man)

    Things I wasn't looking for, but came with the package:

    1.) Red-necked strains.

    2.) Crack problems.
     
  6. Speedpass

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    First of all I want a woman who has a personal commitment to Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord. Beynond that, I want someone who is going to be completely honest with me up front. In the last relationship I had, that was missisng, and I didn't find out about that until more than a year after we broke up. Also, I recently discovered that she might not be a Christian, because of some comments she has made regarding God abandoning her because she has bipolar disorder and will be on meds the rest of her life.
     
  7. Brother Adam

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    I know what you mean [​IMG]

    Brother Adam
     
  8. Molly

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    This is the most thorough list I have read and I think it is wonderful...somethings could be different for each individual,but this is what Michael Farris' daughter and wife came up with for her....we are going to make a list very similar with our children. Maybe this can give you some ideas...

    1.He must be a born again christian and able to give testimony of His salvation.
    2.He should be patient
    3.He must be kind.
    4.He should not be envious.
    5.He should be humble.
    6.He should not be easlily angered.
    7.He must not hold a grudge.
    8.He should not delight in evil.
    9.He should rejoice with the Truth.
    10.He must be a protector.
    11.He should be trusting.
    12.He should have hope.
    13.He must persevere.
    14.He should be loving.
    15.He should be joyful.
    16.He should be good.
    17.He should be peaceful.
    18.He should be faithful.
    19.He should be gentle.
    20.He must have self-control.
    21.He must be a hardworker.
    22.He must love the Lord with all his heart,soul,mind,and body.
    23.He should walk in all God's ways.
    24.He must hold fast to the Lord.
    25.He must not worry,but turn to God in prayer.
    26.He should press onward toward the goal.
    27.He should build up others with his words.
    28.He must have not a hint of sexual immorality,or impurity.
    29.He must not joke coarsely or say inappropriate things.
    30.He must not be greedy.
    31.He must not be yoked with unbelievers.
    32.He should be the salt of the earth and obey the great commission.
    33.He must like children.
    34.He must be committed to attending church regularly.
    35.He should keep his priorities straight.
    36.He must have a sense of humor.
    37.Mom and Dad must like him and approve of him.
    38.He should not be over weight(violation of principle of self control)
    39.He must be prepared to support a family.
    40.He must be prepared to be the spiritual head of his home.
    41.He must be committed to staying out of debt.
    42.He must want to homeschool our children.
    43.He should have some kind of musical ability.
    44.He must be attractive to me.
    45.He must have daily quiet times with the Lord.

    I thought this was a very biblically based list and it also had some personal things that some of us might change or add too....(like homeschool if that is not important to you,etc.) But,overall,it is a great list of standards!

    Maybe this will help some of you determine your list.

    he also has a list for guys about their furture wives...I may post that later. It is not as long.

    :D :D
     
  9. Brother Adam

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    Wow Molly,

    That's quite a long list. I hope you can find someone to meet all of those requirements. I sure don't think I could measure up to each one perfectly! Although I will disagree with you on the overwieght one. Some people are genetically larger. Its not necessarily over-eating that leads to being overwieght. but that is a discussion for another time.

    Brother Adam
     
  10. Molly

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    It's not my list,but Michael Farris's daughter's...yes,it is long list and we know there is no perfect man....but it is good to have standards.

    I've been married for 14 years to a man who meets most of those,and we would love for our daughters to look for the same kind of character traits in a husband.

    Here is the one for the guys looking for a godly wife:

    1.She should have noble character
    2.She should be worthy of her husband's confidence
    3.She should be working towards her husband's good,not his harm
    4.She should be willing to work eagerly with her hands
    5.She should be willing to sacrifice her own comfort for the needs of her family(i.e. getting up early to feed her family,etc)
    6.She should be financially resourceful
    7.She should be dligent
    8.She should be willing to love and serve the poor.
    9.She should plan ahead for the needs of her family
    10.She should take care of herself to make herself attractive to her husband.
    11. She should inspire and encourage her husband to be a leader in the community
    12.She should be strong and dignified

    He adds on more thing: "A commitment to look for people possessing these spirtual qualities means a commitment to raising our children to have these same qualities as well. We should not expect our children to attract these kind of spiritual champions unless they are championship quality themselves."

    About the overweight thing: I think at times it is an overeating problem,sometimes it is something else. That is her own personal list,so she may just want someone that does not struggle with that.

    [ June 17, 2002, 06:59 PM: Message edited by: Molly ]
     
  11. Johnv

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    1 - Must have a bible in 1 hand
    2 - Must have a hymnal in another hand
    3 - Must not require Garanimals to match clothing
     
  12. MissAbbyIFBaptist

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    I like that list Molly. I wish I could be like what the Bible describes in Proverbs ch 31. I actualy cried when my preacher preached on it. It still stirs me up to read it.
    However, I have a slow to anger/quik to speak problem :rolleyes: and thankfully the Lord works with me, but do you ever feel like you just fall so completly short of what you ought to be? I feel that way a lot. I know when we make mistakes God forgives us, and He even forgets, but sometimes I feel like I continualy fail. :(
    Oh well, God is faithful, right?
    In our Savior,
    Abby
     
  13. Oxidization

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    At this point, I've pretty much given up on men, so they really only need to fill the following criteria:

    1) Breathing
    2) Mammal

    And even then, it's hard.

    [ June 30, 2002, 03:57 PM: Message edited by: Oxidization ]
     
  14. Brother_Joey_Gowdy

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  15. uhdum

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    I've found most youth today tend to focus too much on relationships...teenage relationships annoy me because of the shallowness and worldliness usually involved. Thus, I think it's great to set your standards for your future mate, and then, leave it in God's hands [​IMG]

    What I look for in my future wife:

    1. Must be a Christian (most likely Baptist and believe the same on key issues as I; things can get complicated if you don't believe the same as your spouse)

    2. Must be a mature Christian (one who strives to serve the Lord and isn't just a half-hearted believer)

    3. Must have a servant's heart and be willing to live as a preacher's wife (since that is what I feel my calling is)

    4. Must be willing to have fun, laugh, and enjoy the life God gives her

    5. Last on the list...hopefully she will be attractive to me at least...I don't think it's God's will for me to marry someone I'd hate to look at...lol :D
     
  16. MissAbbyIFBaptist

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    posted by uhdum:
    Last on the list...hopefully she will be atractive to me at least...I don't think it's God's will for me to marry someone I'd hate to look at. LOL! If you really love her, it won't matter to you what she looks like!

    Brother Joey Gowdy, your girlfriend is a very pretty girl.

    Oxidazation- lol, I don't know if it's that hard!

    Ladies, I was reading a great study at this website:http://www.bbcgf.org on the link "Far Above Rubies"
    It was great and I got a blessing form it. Ya'll might want to check it out.

    In Our Saviour, Abby

    [ July 29, 2002, 06:29 PM: Message edited by: saved by grace 1999 ]
     
  17. Brother_Joey_Gowdy

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    Ehh, this is just an update for my previous post (July 1, 2002)... a lot of things happened since then and unfortunately Im single again :tear:
     
  18. Mishelly

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    I should say ‘Whatever God says’

    What I say I want God may say no, ‘I know what you need, not what you want’

    Christian:Fish:

    Kind:love2:

    Strong

    Sensitive

    Rugged a manly man, whatever that may mean J

    Funny = silly, goofy:laugh:

    Serious

    Loving - sweet & down to earth

    Intelligent

    Do I need to go on LOL:smilewinkgrin:

    I am attractive to beautiful eye’s first and foremost.
     
  19. Dale-c

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    I was just skimming over this post but I thought I would add to it.

    I got married last November.

    I had a totally different idea of what I wanted to marry than what I got.
    I was actually engaged to what I thought was the perfect girl, only to be rescued by God's good grace before we went on with it.

    The girl who is not my wife had so many qualities that I hadn't seen as important but I have grown to see how perfect she really was for me and I am so thankful that I got what God had for me and not what I wanted.

    It is very good to have a standard of wanting a Christian person (required actually)
    But sometimes there are personality things that we attach ourselves to only to find that what God has is so much better.

    What an awesome feeling it is to know that God has made someone just for you!

    I would encourage all of you young people to be patient because it is WELL WORTH IT!

    You can see a pic of us at www.daleandmichelle.com
     
  20. PamelaK

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    Dale,
    Thanks so much for posting these comments for the youth. How right you are!
    Lovely photo!

    Oh, just to clarify, I think you meant "the girl who is now my wife" in the following quote:

    "The girl who is not my wife had so many qualities that I hadn't seen as important but I have grown to see how perfect she really was for me and I am so thankful that I got what God had for me and not what I wanted."

    Thanks again. :wavey:
     

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