What Should I have Done?

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Tom Bryant, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
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    A situation for pastors:

    This morning in our 2nd service a family of visitors came. They came after service had begun so i didn't meet them. There was a mom and dad and 2 younger people who I guess were a daughter and her bf or the son and his gf.

    During the preaching, the young man (i'm guessing around 20) had his arm around the girl or she had her arm around him, sometimes laying their head on the others shoulder. I wasn't too happy about this, but they were visitors so I was reluctant to say anything. The about 5 minutes before the end of the message and the invitation, he starts licking her shoulder :eek: I'm into the close getting ready to have the invitation and I look back again and it is continuing.

    No one esle but me can see it. So it is not bothering anyone except ME! I wanted to stop the service and embarass the fire out of them both. But I didn't say anything and went to the invitation.

    Question: would you have done nothing? Have you faced a situation like this before? How did you handle it?
     
  2. Brother Bob

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    I think you handled it right. I would have done the same but if they come again, I would be on the watch for them. We get some every once in a while and in your case, you are the only one who saw it, so it did not hurt your church. Usually if you stop to embarras someone, the service is over, for it is so hard to get the attention of everyone after that.

    BBob,
     
  3. Dr. L.T. Ketchum

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    In the closing invitation I would have said, "Dogs eat their vomit, pigs wallow in the mud, and heathens lick their girlfriend's neck during church services in the house of God. They all have a common need. They all need to become a 'new Creation.' " If any of those things describe you, why not come forward and get saved.
     
  4. Jason Derksen

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    It sounds to me like you handled it well. You did "your job" (preach the Word) and you allowed the Holy Spirit to do His job. You cannot get upset about sinners doing what sinners do. God does not call us to correct everyone's imperfection, he calls us to present the truth.

    It would be a different situation if the aforementioned couple were up front causing a distraction to the other members of the congregation. Then they have embarrassed themselves by causing the distraction that required a public mention from the pulpit.

    If there were others that did see the incident and mention it to you, then maybe it could be a good teaching tool for your grounded members on how to act next time a distraction of that nature presents itself. (Maybe it would be something to mentions to ushers to watch for, with the proper procedures for handling it tactfully before it escalates??)

    Just some of my thoughts (if they are worth anything),
    Jason Derksen
     
  5. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303
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    Tom, I would have done the exact same thing.

    I find it extremely hard to believe that any preacher would actually say:

    That sounds to me like preacher talk for after the service, but not somethign that would actually happen.
     
  6. SaggyWoman

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    This kind of gives new meaning to speaking in tongues.

    I think you handled it well.
     
  7. Palatka51

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    Tom,

    You followed through with the invitation and that is what should have been done. Great job but watch for these folks, it sounds like a set up. Coming in late and then attempting a scene. Next time it could be even more deprived.

    God Bless

    Mel
     
  8. Tom Bryant

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    Thanks, folks. Everyone's ideas are appreciated except maybe for the dog returning to his vomit suggestion. :laugh:

    No one else saw it. I checked with a Deacon we have stationed at the back of the auditorium for problem issues. He didn't see anything.

    So it effected me more than anyone else because at the moment we had all aimed for in the service, my att'n was divided and that was certainly not what the Lord wanted.

    Palatka, thanks for the word. It may be that more is coming. I'll be watching.
     
  9. Dr. L.T. Ketchum

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    Brother Tom,

    My comment was intended as a farce. Forgive me for my levity.

    Of course you did the right thing.

    Sometimes those types of things are very distracting though, especially at the closing/invitation time.
     
  10. StefanM

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    It's hard to tell online whether or not someone is being serious.

    Also, here on the BB we get some oddball posters from time to time, so we can never assume one is joking.
     
  11. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
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    Brother L.T.

    Sorry, I misinterpreted it... In my mind although that was not the exact wording I would have chosen, but the sentiment was exactly what I was feeling.

    On a surreal note, I see the ad above where I am replying has something for "Family Musical on DVD" it's called the "Liken Bible Series" I hope that's not pronounced "Lickin' Bible Series" :laugh:
     
  12. rbell

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    That there's funny! :laugh:

    Hope this problem is "licked" before the next service.





    :eek:

    Or not....

    :D
     
  13. Joe

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    We have children present in Church so if it was spotted, likely it wouldn't be allowed to continue for long.

    A simple whisper to them "Excuse me, but this is a church and we are concentrating on the preaching, there are also children present. Please keep it under control. Thank you" should take care of it.
    I have done this a few times with visitors to our church, and it's not been a problem. Pastor pointed to me to get my attention, and pointed to them, so I knew what he expected. Later, I chat with them to ensure there aren't any hard feelings.

    If they thow a fit, then the Deacons (and other male church members if needed) will assist them out the door. No worries.

    Edited to say: Actually, the second time was an instance with our own teens.
     
    #13 Joe, Dec 31, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2007
  14. Brother Bob

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    They are trying to get a law passed where the Pastor carrys a gun.........:)

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Ivon Denosovich

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    I've heard preachers say WORSE things about teens simply holding hands as they walked through the doors.
     
  16. PeterM

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    Fabulous post my friend! I couldn't agree more.
     
  17. Circuitrider

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    There is always the possbility that the young man had a salt defiency and was trying to correct it.:laugh:

    In any case it does provide a teaching opportunity for your ushers to be prepared for anything. If it was distracting it would have to be dealt with carefully. Unfortunately some people have lost all sense of proper decorum in the church services.
     

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