What would you do....

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by ShotGunWillie, Aug 24, 2007.

  1. ShotGunWillie

    ShotGunWillie
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    I will give you a story, still going on today, this isn't past history, the story is true, sad, scary, horrible, disgusting, and tragic as it seems, but true, very true. I will give you just the facts, with nothing more added to it (like names, locations, how I know them, and that type of stuff). Tell me what you think, tell me how you would handle it, tell me what you would do...

    There is a four year old little boy who has been molested by his father since infancy (believed since infancy), the father and mother are divorced, and this just came to light about six months ago. The child has expressed what has taken place to four court appointed child counselors, in full detail, the judge determined that the father will have monitored visitation rights and if all goes will he will resume partial custody. On the criminal side of things, the grand jury threw the case out due to insufficient evidence, although the prosecutor is collecting more recent child interviews to take the case back before the Grand Jury, that hasn't been done yet. Be praying the Grand Jury decides to hear the case and the case goes to criminal court.

    As far as the mother and grandparents of the child, they all live together, the child has displayed that he has a temper and authority issues (which go uncorrected), the child doesn't openly mention what he has gone through, he ignores it, but he does express hatred towards his father, he says things like "I'm gonna kill him", "I'm going to bury my father", and he will act these things out with toys and such. The child eats his clothes, this is what lead the mother to question why, and ask him "what's wrong", which lead to the discovery of what his father did.

    Recently (as of yesterday) the boy has been acting out, more agressively, showing more severe anger and hatred towards everything and everyone.

    In the morning he, he was upset about the breakfast situation and told his grandmother in a low, gutteral voice (she has never heard before in her life), that "If you don't get me the cereal I want I will cut your hands off".

    Later in the day he threw a fit, and took a pair of scissors and stabbed holes in his new shirt, because he was mad.

    Later, he spoke once again in the low voice (only the second time they have ever heard him use it) and threatened bodily harm on the grandmother and his mother. Reasons, unknown to me.

    That evening, as they do most evenings for the past year, they were watching the large toad frog in their back yard, they watch him catch bugs and hop around and have been doing this for like I said, well over a year. The boy took up his play sword, walked outside, and beat the frog until there was nothing left, came back in, put his sword away, and acted like nothing had happened.

    Now you are probably wondering, why are you telling us this story, why are we even reading this? For a few reasons, I want to know if my mind is right when giving advice concerning this situation and I wanted to honestly know how you would handle it.

    1. As a direct family member in the house, would you fear for your life?
    2. Do you feel the child is possessed by demons?
    3. What would you do with the child, counseling, mental evaluations, what?
    4. Would you punish the child when he acts out or would you pacify his actions and say that he is merely acting out and that if you have been through what he has you would do much worse?
    5. Do you think, just by the short account I have given, the child will move on to bigger and better things to cause harm too?

    I really am looking for good feed back on this situation. Thanks
     
  2. ReformedBaptist

    ReformedBaptist
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    That is an unbelievable story. And being a father of 5 I can't imagine a father doing what he has done.

    For the child's sake, I would say he needs some serious help. He may indeed be demonized. Much prayer and fasting would be one thing to be done continually, but also solid Christian counseling and maybe hospitalization if the child is a threat to himself or others. One wonders if satan has a serial killier in the making.

    Now being in Georgia, if I found a man that did something like that to my child and got free, except by the grace of God I'd take him out to the country and shoot him.

    RB
     
  3. ShotGunWillie

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    have you ever heard of the serial killer tri-fecta?
     
  4. standingfirminChrist

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    Sounds to me the child is controlled by demons.

    That being said, is it possible that the child is lying about his father? What influences are in this child's life? What is his daily routine?

    Most cartoons nowadays are filled with such violence. Does he watch any of these cartoons and then act them out? Violent TV shows?

    How is he raised? Anyone in family Christian? Do they share with him the Word of God?

    Too many unanswered questions...

    One thing is for sure. He needs the Lord's intervention.
     
  5. ShotGunWillie

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    agree

    I don't think so, he goes into interely too much detail, about EVERYTHING. Nothing he has seen on TV could possibly provide what he has confessed. Even a child of 4 is does not have that kind of imagination. I am not certain about his direct influences or daily routine, all good questions.

    I don't believe the cartoons he is watching would influence this type of behavior, how a child learned about burial proceedings and such is beyond me. That has never been told to him by his mother or grandmother. His grandfather on the other hand might be helping along with his mental problems. His grandfather is in a state of "deep depression", I personally don't believe it.

    The grandmother is a Christian for certain, but her husband may not be, nor her daughter. The child has no real male role model, no male influence, that's why it hurts me as much as it does, because I feel there is more that I can do, but fear having the child over could cause my own child to be harmed or negatively influenced. Is that wrong?

    Too many unanswered questions...

    agreed
     
  6. ReformedBaptist

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    No, what is it?
     
  7. tinytim

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    He needs help and help now...
    Mental help...

    From what you shared, I would have suggested hospitalization to straighten it out.

    It very well could be demonic..
    But it could be other things too...

    But he needs help now... and yes I would be scared for my life.
     
  8. ShotGunWillie

    ShotGunWillie
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    I have a degree in Criminal Justice, my profession is in the field of Criminal Justice as well, and throughout while studying serial killers there are three factors that play into the mind of a serial killer, all common denominators as a child.

    1. Cruel to animals
    2. Wetting the bed
    3. Playing with fire

    Sexual dysfunctionality and abnormalities typically come later down the road. I think this step has been taken.

    I haven't asked his mother or grandmother about it, but I think there is some signs that could be pointing in this direction.
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    We were foster parents for a while, and I myself was taken into custody for child molestation when I was 10. This happened regularly from age 5-10, likely earlier, though I can't seem to remember the earlier years. Only flashes come from time to time.

    At age 10, I was told by CPS to get friends my own age so I could see others do not live the way I had. I did as I promised and was shocked to find out others had such wholesome lives. I became the most popular kid in the class, and stayed over at friends houses a lot. They put my mom on medication so I started having others to spend the night (infrequently) All my friends were wholesome kids with two parent families. We remained best friends through high school. I learned from their families, and became like them. I relived my childhood thru watching my good friends grow up. It was like I was inside of them, experiencing all adult subjects in a childlike manner as they were, almost replacing the bad history. At age 16, I moved out and on my own. I graduated high school and went on to College.

    It sounds hopeless, but it is NOT. The boy is acting like an animal because he was treated like one. Let him run about without clothes (if he chooses). Don't change him too quick, it's awfully constraining. He needs love, and affection from females (since he was molested by males) at first. Slowly, he can learn how to relate to males properly. He will later need affection from males too. Follow thru with discipline but pick your battles. Ignore most of it, even the frog maybe, and keep calm.
    I don't know if he is dangerous, I know I tortured a lizard at age 5. A lizard was not a person to me, I knew the difference.
    If he likes music, maybe he can get his aggressions out by dancing. I have found dancing is the best form of therapy for these kind of kids.

    He needs exercise until he drops, then a lot of love and prayer. He will not act totally normal when he is older, things which are suppose to feel wrong may not feel wrong. He may be desensitized but that doesn't mean he won't make good decisions and live his life for the lord. Remember what he does is NORMAL to the situation, and when you keep this in mind, logical solutions to what is happening also come to mind. Then patience is easier to come by. Watch him VERY close as other molesters can smell these kids out very easily. He is at a much higher risk of being violated than another child. Don't ever allow male babysitters. Watch him around other kids, he may violate them also. Teach wholesome wild type play.

    This is just my two cents for what it is worth. I am no expert.

    Blessings to you,

    Joe
     
    #9 Joe, Aug 24, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2007
  10. JoyC

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    Hi, I'm new here, but wanted to comment.

    I was molested by a family member (not my father) when I was from about six to ten years old, so this hits close to home. My reactions were quite different from what's going on with this child. I never told. And I never became agressive.

    Satan is certainly working in this child's life and prayer for him is definitely in order. He is quite disturbed and needs professional help before he hurts someone else or himself. I personally would think twice about his playing with my own children, not to punish him, but to protect my own. I have that responsibility.

    Someone in that household needs to get a grip and not let a 4-year-old run things regardless of what has happened to him. He's not too young to get under control with help, but it's only going to get worse as he gets older.

    Molestation did not make me have behavior like this, but we're all different.

    Regarding the possibility of his creating this story: With what is on TV, on the internet, and in magazines, theres plenty of fodder. If he's raised in as lax an environment as it sounds (though I may be reading it wrong) it's possible for him to have invented it. But even if that's so, he's been exposed to things that a child should not have been exposed to and that in itself is a type of molestation, in my opinion.

    This is so sad.
     
  11. Jkdbuck76

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  12. ReformedBaptist

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    I am sick in heart to hear about others who have been harmed as children in this way. I know vengeance is God's, but it is hard not to react in heart to these things. I have 1 daughter, 3 sons, and a little girl due at the end of the year. If anyone harmed them in any way it will take all my strength and the grace of God to keep from putting my 9mm to their head and pulling the trigger.

    My prayers and heart are with you all who suffered such terrible things as little ones. I am reminded of the Scripture that says "God will wipe away every tear."

    I know there won't be crying in heaven, but I can't imagine God sitting on His throne wiping tears. I think this speaks to emotional pain inflicted on people because of sins done against them. Some of these things we carry with us all our lives. I was never molested, but was often picked on as a child and it caused pain. Christ can do a marvelous work in us this side of heaven, but when we see His face, He will wipe every tear, heal every pain, and there will be pure, free absolute joy in His presense. Hallelujah.
     
  13. Joe

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    I appreciate your words more than you could ever know. Thank you brother :)

    Joe
     
  14. mcdirector

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    SGW,

    I've got no words about this exept it makes my heart break. I'm sitting here crying now and I'll be praying. This child is on my list to continue to pray for. Can God work a miracle? Yes! Will he? I don't know. The pain that he's suffered! The pain to come . . .

    JoyC, thank you for sharing!
     
  15. pinoybaptist

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    Another guy I would like to spend a few seconds alone with, this father.
    The joy and innocence of childhood he took from his son can never be returned.
    In another thread I posted about a boy who exhibits the same hostility because adults at war with each other burned him. His scars were both physical as well as spiritual.
    This boy may not have anything the matter with his physical appearance, but he sure has a very, very deep emotional and spiritual scar.
    May God be merciful to both children.

    All I can say, SGW, is be both cautious and trusting to this child, patience and love might bring him back yet.
    He has lost trust because the very person he should be able to trust violated him.
     
    #15 pinoybaptist, Aug 24, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2007
  16. donnA

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    Sounds to me like the child is heavily effected by his repeated molestation by his father. How do you expect a child his age to handle this, how is he to know how to manage his rage in this situation when even adults have a hard time.
     

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