When half the family wants to join...

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by TaterTot, Jan 18, 2006.

  1. TaterTot

    TaterTot
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    Have you had this experience? I am talking about couples who dont both want to join the church. They both attend, but only one wants to join. Anyone experience this before?
     
  2. tinytim

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    Yeah, usually the other comes around eventually.

    What is the reason the one doesn't want to?
    I've seen some that were baptized as a Methodist, and thinks his baptism is just as good.
     
  3. Hope of Glory

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    I've seen it frequently, and the reasons are many.
     
  4. DeadMan

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    Although they attend regularly together, my mother-in-law joined a local church in their town, however, my father-in-law has not. They're Church of Christ so I'll have to admit I'm not up on all that goes on over there. I've conversed with him about it and he says, although having been a believer for many years now, he has many doubts regarding the errancy of the bible so he doesn't want to join until these issues are resolved 'to his satisfaction'. That is about all I can get out of him as our spiritual conversations always end up with him telling me (basically) 'What do you know ... you're a Baptist?' And I have to admit that his condescending attitude really tans my hide so I simply avoid it now.

    Oh, sorry for rambling...
     
  5. buckster75

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    I know of a deacon who at one time him and his wife were members of different churches. I don't know any more detail than that. They do go to the same church now.
     
  6. buckster75

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    Another case of a woman wanting to join but her husband not wanting to because he had been hurt by the last 3 churches he had been too.
     
  7. buckster75

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    Last one. A lady who wants to join but her husband will not because a church one time told him he could not because he was a mason (masonic lodge not a brick layer).
     
  8. TaterTot

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    #1. wife likes the preaching here, husband likes worship style there.

    #2 both attend, husband just doesnt want to join, his family has deep roots at another church and doesnt want to hurt them, I think thats the main reason.
     
  9. Brother Ian

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    I've seen it a lot. The reasons are too varied to list.
     
  10. PastorSBC1303

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    I have found when there are deep family roots involved it is very hard for a person to break away from that.
     
  11. TaterTot

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    So is this done in your churches?
     
  12. PastorSBC1303

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    The situations I have witnessed in churches have normally resulted in the couple attending for awhile, but eventually the deep family roots win out and they go back to the other church even if they are not really happy there.
     
  13. Joshua Rhodes

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    Unfortunately, I've seen that too. Family ties are often too thick to break. Not always, however. My parents felt the Lord leading them to a different church than they were raised in, married in, and spent the first years of their marriage in. Eventually, my grandparents made the move as well, even though at first they never would have. Family's thick, but God's leading is often thicker, especially if we're listening.
     
  14. Psalm 100

    Psalm 100
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    Maybe I don't place as much emphasis on "membership" as some do, but if they're both saved, attending regularly, are involved in active fellowship outside of church, then I don't see a large problem here. I may be just looking at it wrong, though. Is this an issue of tithing (does he still tithe to his family church)?
     
  15. Scott J

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    God made the man the spiritual head of his home. It sounds as if there is a lack of biblical leadership, followership, or both.

    Only a foolish man would not consider his wife's input on such a decision. However, God will hold that man accountable for the spiritual welfare of his family and ensuring first and foremost that the church is doctrinally and practically sound.

    If this guy's first concern is worship style... it sounds like he has some more basic issues that need to be dealt with.
     
  16. Johnv

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    A spouse should never be forced, coerced, or pressured to join a church if that spouse isn't ready to. Period.
     
  17. gb93433

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    I pastored a church and in that chruch was a man who led people to Christ and was involved in the church a lot. He provided a lot of money for the youth to grow and do things. He told me one day that he was not a member and probably would never join. He was a loyal person to the church he had attended as a kid and was a member there and never took his membership with him.

    In some ways I hated memebrship because every pastors know that there are people when asked where they go to church will name the church where they are a member and have not attended in years.
     
  18. Scott J

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    A spouse should never be forced, coerced, or pressured to join a church if that spouse isn't ready to. Period. </font>[/QUOTE]That contradicts the NT order of Christian marriages. A wife should ultimately be willing to submit to her husband's judgment in the matter since to not do so causes her to usurp his rightful authority and responsibility.

    Even women married to unbelievers are commanded to not oppose them but rather to win them by influence.

    Do you have a biblical case for your assertion?
     
  19. Hope of Glory

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    Well, for one thing, a woman is told to submit. Nowhere does it tell anyone to force her to submit.
     
  20. TaterTot

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    the cases I am talking of, the husband isnt wanting her to submit. He doesnt care. Just doesnt want to join.
     

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