I need some advice (please, bite your tongue if you want to berate me). My husband, who's in his fifties, believes strongly that he is being called to preach. He has felt this way for about fifteen years, and we've talked about it in the past. I think I've been his biggest obstacle. The problem is me. I'm active in church as best I can be. I have an incurable illness that is hard and expensive to treat and very debilitating. My mother is very ill and I'm responsible to see to her medical needs. My daughter is about to graduate college and enter graduate school and the stress is causing her asthma and other medical problems to flare. To top it all off, I'm having to stop medications because our insurance has changed and won't cover them or they're too expensive if they do. So I'm dealing with withdrawal too. To say I'm at the end of my rope is an understatement. I guess I'm not sure that my husband is hearing God or hearing pressure from the pulpit. I guess we all have times that we don't know if the Spirit is calling or it's just pressure. Then again, maybe I'm the only one that feels this way. I can't say that I've not wondered if God wants us to go into mission work in some poverty stricken part of the world since we both knew what poverty was here in America, but I certainly do not feel that I'm pastor's wife material. I do NOT want to live in that fish bowl. My husband isn't doing a great job reassuring me at this point as to what direction he sees God directing him, other than the surrendering part. He already teaches and works with children. I feel like a heel because of the way I feel. Does this happen to other wives, or am I alone in this?