Why do we press harder on the TV remote when we know the batteries are almost dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there isn’t enough money? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? How do dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures? Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my favorite … The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's YOU!