Would you confront...

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by TaterTot, Aug 5, 2006.

  1. TaterTot

    TaterTot
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    There is someone in our church who counts the money on Sunday morning, and has started telling folks that we dont tithe. (This is untrue - I just dont give HER the check sometimes b/c I know she is nosey.) It has gotten back to me, and I am seriously thinking of telling her how disappointed I am that someone is telling these untruths. (I know its her, couldnt be anyone else, but I dont want to accuse). Would you confront?
     
  2. PastorSBC1303

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    I would say it is best to confront it now before it grows into an even bigger story.
     
  3. Helen

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    LOL, tell her flat out, "No, of course we don't tithe. EVERYTHING we have belongs to the Lord and we put it where He wants us to put it. The amount that goes to the church does not go through you, as you have proved yourself to be a gossip."

    If others ask you about this bit of juicy gossip, tell them the same thing, with the exception of the last sentence which might be modified to avoid some kind of war of words.

    God bless you!
     
  4. El_Guero

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    It is better to confront now, and probably give your offering (tithe) in an envelope during the church service.

    wow. that could be a can of worms.

    I'll be praying for you.

     
  5. PastorSBC1303

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    I think that response would be completely misunderstood by people and end up in an even bigger problem.
     
  6. LeBuick

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    I'm sorry to say this Tator, but it sounds like there is more to this sentence. Hard not to be nosey when you count the money.

    Before I became Pastor, I tithed in cash with no envelope because I didn't have enough deductions to use the long form. I figured God knew my heart so all was cool. It got back to my Dad that I wasn't tithing and he gave me this piece of advice.

    God knows your heart but man watches your actions. As a leader in the Church, we need to set the example and satisfy man as well as God.
     
  7. Helen

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    You may be right, but I get awfully sick of the gossip that goes on in churches (or anywhere else for that matter). And tithing in the OT was a tax, just like we pay taxes today. There is no such thing as New Testament tithing. Either we belong to the Lord, along with everything He has granted us, or not. Either He is the Boss or He is not. And what any person gives to the church is the business of no one except God and the treasurer, who should be removed from his/her position immediately if there is gosspi such as mentioned in the lead post.
     
  8. TC

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    I respectfully disagree. I think your dad should have simply told those other people to mind their own business. They are judging based on externals in spite of James command for the church not to do that.
     
  9. DeaconDean

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    I happened to run across this sort of problem with a friend of mine who I attended church with. A deacon come up to him after church and made a comment about how little he had put in the offering plate. He said he knew he made more money than what he put in, and was disappointed in him. Well folks, I have known this brother for 32 of my 44 years. He is like a brother to me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he paid some rather large bills that week. He got so mad at this deacon that it really has caused his walk with the Lord to suffer. I looked at my brother in Christ and told him that he should have looked at the deacon and said:

    "Brother, I had $10 to my name, I put in $5 as an offering. I gave half of what I had. What did you give?"

    Besides, being as since I'm a deacon myself, although not at that church, I often help with the offering and frequently count the money myself. The way I see it, what goes in that offering plate is between the Lord and the giver, it is none of my business. Why can't others see it that way?
     
  10. chadnrachel

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    I would definitely go to her and tell her your concerns. And as the Biblical model goes, if she doesn't change, take your spouse or pastor to a meeting with her.

    But, definitely deal with it....or it will lead to bitterness.
     
  11. Gib

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    Tater, she sounds like the kinda person that will take whatever you say and twist it. I would think about taking someone neutral with me when I talk to her.

    We had a situation where a staff member was giving their tithe in cash. Would come in before Sunday School to go over the musicians with the instrumentalist and put their tithe in the plate. They did not have a checking account. Paid everything with cash or money orders.

    There was no "record" of his giving and the rumors flew. He was put on the spot to explain himself. He did and his quick remedy was a tithe envelope. But the damage was done; people thought he hadn't started tithing until he was told to. Is it anyone's business what or how someone tithes?
     
  12. I Am Blessed 24

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    Tater: Since your husband is the pastor of the church, I would let him deal with it.

    It sounds to me like it's time to get someone else to count the money...
     
  13. blackbird

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    I'm with Sister Sue on this one!! The "Phantom" issue is---the Preacher don't tithe---when he really does!! Let your husband go with a deacon or two---and that should "square" things up!!

    I had a situation some years ago---there was a family who paid tithes in cash----they'd just drop it in the collection plate during offering time. Well, since they payed in cash and didn't use any envelope system---there was no record of their contribution

    By and by---they came to the "phy-nance" man and said---we want a record of our contribution for Uncle Sam. Since there was no record---well---they just had to "eat it"

    Bro. David
     
  14. donnA

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    I'm with Sue. Let the pastor handle it, and get someone else to count the money, she has proven she is unable to handle it appropriately.
     
  15. mcdirector

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    *sigh*

    What realy irritates me is how this small person has taken a wedge of time out of your Sunday afternoon figuring out how to deal with her.

    I like the idea of pastor hubs going to see her. It will carry a bit more weight (sorry that's such a true statement).
     
  16. tinytim

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    Tater, is this person also the treasurer?... if not, maybe the treasurer could go with your hubby when he talks with this person...

    Tithing matters must be confidential, and this person needs to know this.

    With your Pastor/hubby going, along with the treasurer, it will not be viewed that you all are picking on them... It also adds a witness to the equation, and an air of professionalism with the one that handles the treasury addressing this problem.
     
  17. TaterTot

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    Well, I didnt confront her yet. I dont want to do it prematurely, as there are some other issues as well. I have confronted her before on gossip that I just couldnt let go. No, she is not the treasurer, but this has been her job since Aunt Bessie May bequeathed it to her 98 years ago, lol. I had thought about talking with the treasurer and this lady at the same time and telling them both that this has gotten to me and I am very disappointed, knowing that only the two of them know who gives what. I know the treasurer can be trusted, and she will know that I dont think she has shared this, but it might appear less accusing.

    As for letting my husband deal with it, I think thats a great idea, but he has some rather weighty issues on his shoulders right now, and I think its something I can do, since I give the money, to lessen his load.

    I do appreciate all the advice and I will digest it before I gently and sweetly move in and claw her eyes out. :saint:

    (J/k for those who dont really know me.)
     
  18. LeBuick

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    I could tell there was more to the story by the way you put a sentence. There appears to be a history of tention which is probably not isolated to just you, but others in the Church also.

    My Church, we post all tithes in the notes for each quarterly business meeting. In fact, we publish the complete financial picture of the Church including all salaries etc... I don't know why we do as this practise was in place when I took over.

    I know you hubby has a lot on his plate but I don't feel this is something you should address. I feel you should leave this to him and try to carry another part of his load.

    Whatever you decide, pray first... We're with ya :thumbs:
     
    #18 LeBuick, Aug 6, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2006
  19. TaterTot

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    hm. OK. I think I will hold off for a while and see what happens. I certainly dont want to overstep my boundaries.

    BTW, dh and I had discussed the issue and he thought it would be OK for me to talk to her if I felt I should. He trusts me with things like that, but I also dont want to make things worse. Thanks for the advice. I love being a part of the Body. :)
     
  20. gb93433

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    Whenever I hear gossip I go to the gossiper first. That way you are more likely assured of getting the straight story from them and then follow the trail for as long as it extends. It may be that what you were told may have started at a place you did not know about.

    If someone offends you, go that person in private.

    I know a pastor who was ready to leave a church over an issue much like this. He shared it with the deacons and they took care of the problem. He has been very successful as their pastor since.
     

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