Would you pay your child to help?

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by annsni, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. annsni

    annsni
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    A friend of mine on Facebook is asking what to pay her 13 year old son to watch his grandma in the morning during the summer. My friend will be taking her daughter to gymnastics at 8, then going to the barn to take care of her rescue horses. Most days she will be home by noon but other days it might be as late as 1:30. Mom is elderly and needs someone up with her so son will have to wake up each morning to keep her company, making her breakfast as well. He can play video games and stuff but just needs to be aware of grandma and if she needs help. There is no helping her bathe or anything. He can also have friends over at this time but he needs to stay in near grandma.

    So, would you pay your child?
     
  2. matt wade

    matt wade
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    I wouldn't pay my child anything. We, as a society, need to get back to helping our elder family members without expecting anything in return.
     
  3. DiamondLady

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    Yes, without hesitation. She's asking her son to give up his summer to a part-time job. If she were paying a Granny Nanny or another caregiver it would cost her around $20 an hour and up. (When my MIL had to have care at home it cost us $700 a week for someone to stay the night with her.) I worked one summer taking care of a lady who'd had surgery for a detached retina and made $200 a week. She should pay him.
     
  4. matt wade

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    Paying a child to look after an elderly family member is teaching them to be selfish.
     
  5. DiamondLady

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    I disagree, it's teaching them to be responsible and what it is to work to earn your way. It's a perfect teaching moment on tithing, saving, spending responsibly.
     
  6. matt wade

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    Part time jobs are an excellent way to do what you teach.

    By paying a child to take care of a sibling or an elderly family member, you are teaching them that their time is more important than their family. In fact, their time is so much more important that they need to be compensated to look after their family. That is teaching selfishness.
     
  7. annsni

    annsni
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    Last year when my oldest was in the hospital, I was absent to be with her. I was not home during the day at all - only from about midnight to 5 am to sleep. My husband still had to work and so most of everything fell on my then 18 year old daughter. She cooked, cleaned, homeschooled and worked as well, bringing the kids to my husband to keep while she was working. She was amazing and really held the family together. I asked her about this situation and what her opinion was and she was shocked. She said "If you're in a family, you take care of family. If you get paid, you're not part of the family!" Yep - that's my girl!
     
  8. preacher4truth

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    Ann,

    I wouldn't pay the child, or even mention pay.

    If the boy does a good job, I'd certainly reward him at some point, and explain as to why, perhaps a huge lesson reinforced.
     
  9. annsni

    annsni
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    I agree. A blessing of a gift or a privilege or something like that with a "John, I very much appreciate how you helped the family out during this time and I know it wasn't necessarily what you wanted to do but you were mature and helped us. It was such a blessing to me and I'd like to bless you back. I'll pay for your retreat with the youth group [or add in any other "treat" you want to do] as my thank you." :)
     
  10. billwald

    billwald
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    Rescue horses? Whom do the horses rescue?
     
  11. annsni

    annsni
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    She runs a horse rescue.
     
  12. Gina B

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    I'd probably pay, but first I'd not mention it before deciding if he's to be trusted to do it in the first place and how much the pay should be. I'd see the reaction to being asked to do so, especially with someone that young these days.

    If it is a very negative reaction, it's not going to work anyhow and another alternative would have to be found.

    If it is a "I'll do it but expect stuff in return" type of response I'd (without mentioning it) cut back on the amount I'd originally planned.

    If it's a sweet and thoughtful response, I'd go with the full amount planned.

    I understand the concept of family, but family is also everything wrapped up in one to a child. There's no reason a family can't model an employer to a child, with pay, to help them learn. In this case, it sounds like a wonderful way to both have someone with Gramma and to teach them about the value of work and some money management.

    For my own kids, I sometimes pay and sometimes don't. It depends. I have always paid them to clean my room. LOL That is something I'd never ask them to do without pay, but if I get tired and they need some money or ask for a way to earn some? YAY! I've Works for all of us! If it's a chore to do with the rest of the house or something else off their list, it's up in the air. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but never will I do so if there's an attitude about it. In fact, sometimes I'll throw in something extra for having to deal with an attitude, but like I said before, a good one makes me feel more generous both with money and saying yes to fun stuff.
     

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