You Know You're a Missionary If...

Boom!!

What on earth is "vegemite"....sounds like a name for an organic explosive of some sort! Don't say that coming through US Customs or Homeland Security may put you on a do-not-fly or some other kind of watch list!:smilewinkgrin:

Bro.Greg:saint:

 

That reminds me of a story- when we were in Mexico we had a missionary friend who would import A&W root beer by the case - he loved the stuff. Anyway, one day he got stopped by the local policia for allegedly speeding - all you need to do to get pulled over for that is have US license plates on your car, which all of us missionaries did - so we were easy targets.

The policia sauntered up to his car and asked for his licencia and credencial (visa) and peered around in the car. His eyes fell on the can of root beer and all he saw was the word "beer". He thought he might double his "mordita" (bribe) by telling him he was "arresting" him for "speeding" and DUI.

My friend was a well-seasoned missionary veteran so he knew how the "game" was played. He asked the policia for proof of speeding - and of course he had none, so that charge was going nowhere. So then the policia started in about the "beer" so my friend told him it was the worst beer he had ever tasted and asked the officer if he wanted a can for himself. Of course he did - it was a hot day.

The officer popped the top, took a swallow, gagged, spit, threw the can over to the side of the road, walked back to his car, and drove off.

As did my friend, laughing.

 

LOL! Bully for you. I like my root beer.

 

You can't say "root beer" on the Australian mission field. They don't know what it is there, but they do know what beer is, and "root" in any other context besides the underground part of a tree is a very bad word.

:tonofbricks:

I spent 4 months in Australia on an agricultural internship.

 

You know you're a missionary if every church you visit tries to take you to a restaurant specializing in your adopted country's food.

 

That's the truth!

I remember one Sunday we were at a church for the Sunday morning service. After church they took us out to a Chinese restaurant that was owned by a member of the church - who was Chinese. They piled our plates and it was so good we ate every bit of it. Then we got into the car and started driving four hours to the next meeting. All of us- mom, the kids and me were talking about how good the food was. I made the comment, "I hope if the church feeds us tonight, they take us to a place where we can just get a salad- I'm stuffed." Everyone agreed.

Lo and behold we arrive at that church and almost the first words out of the pastor's mouth after "Howdy" were "Hey y'all like to eat steak, right? We have a man here in the church who is a chef and he's preparing a full steak dinner with all the trimmings for us tonight." How could we say no? We had a salad... and a baked potato, and baked beans, and vegetables, and the thickest steak I've ever seen, and dessert.

We went on a fast for a day after that weekend! We kidded about "suffering for Jesus" for a long time after that Sunday.:laugh:

 

You might be a missionary if you can translate metric to english measurements, and temperatures, in your head.

By the way, I can do most of them, within a reasonable degree of accuracy, and I'm not an official missionary.

 

You have me beat - I was a missionary in Mexico for nine years and I never did figure that out!

 

The weights and measures I do pretty well at, but the temperature is the hardest. I can do it if I have to, but I mostly approximate.