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Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by tyndale1946, Mar 3, 2015.
If you go to Sunday Meetin in your bib overalls with a toothpick tween your teeth:smilewinkgrin:
If you go to Sunday Meetin packin.
If you have the Lord's supper on Sunday Meetin' and ask fer seconds.
You might go to a redneck Church if you ain't the only one that goes to Sunday Meetin packin.
If there are more 4-wheelers in the grass than cars, you might be a Christian redneck.
When walking into the church you can smell "The Country Fried Chicken"!... And its not KFC!
There are more horses than cars and the cowboy hats outnumber the ladies.
You might be a redneck Christian if your church has a spittoon or two on the back row.
Then our church is definitely a suburban red neck church.
...if there is skeet shooting behind the church after service.
Not looking for a Cal/Arm debate, but you might be a reformed redneck if..........................
(1) The biggest fight you ever had with your wife was wether or not to name your first born daughter Dolly-Grace or Loretta-Grace
(2) The rear bumper of your pickup truck is proudly adorned with a "NRA" bumper sticker, a "Skoal Bandit" bumper sticker, and a "Calvin 500" bumper sticker.
(3) You have a billy goat named Spurgeon
(4) You search record shops, yard sales, and flea markets hoping to find a version of Willie Nelson singing "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God"
(5) Your first question when you get to heaven is going to be "You willin to sell any of those cattle on a Thousand Hills?"
Your church may be redneckish if your collection plate is a spittoon...
You might be a redneck Christian if you stop on the way to church and scrape a possum off the road, because you forgot to bring a dish for the church dinner after service.
I've heard that is a practice of our brothers in GA, to eat 'old' road kill. We feel strongly that it should be fresh road kill and should never have to be scraped off the road.
The "scraping" in question is dependent on how wide and large your pick-up truck tires are, KYR. Having wider, heavier tires might mean you have to do some scraping, but it also makes for a quick kill.
Our GA brothers must be hard up to stoop to flat road kill, which we reject farther north.
Honestly, a flat roadkill on a Georgia road, especially in the heart of summer, is like getting some good possum or squirrel jerky. The Lord (and Ford) provides.
I'll include you all in my prayers brother, as I often do for the heathen.