How to approach this dating - advice / perspective

'Perfect love casteth out fear.'

Be a man, walk up to her and ask her if she'd like to meet you for coffee. If she does, great. If not, then at least you'll know, and you can move on.

 

Are you a missionary in a foreign country? Is she a missionary in a foreign country? If so in either case, what are the policies of whomever you and she are answerable to?

 

God, I Trust You To Bring The Right Person To Me At The Right Time

Lots of prayer, brother.

God, I Trust You To Bring The Right Person To Me At The Right Time

 

I suggest approaching her parents before approaching her. If you do so and they agree that you are a suitable suitor, you have powerful allies. Also, you would be helping her honor her parents, which is a command of God. The whole family would then know that you are serious about the Lord's will, and not looking for "recreational dating"--just out to have a good time. Then, including her parents as chaperones on your dates will be even more helpful in this regard.

I also suggest that you pray that the courtship will happen in a way that will glorify God. I prayed this way for a mate for 7 years, and God finally led me to the woman who became my wife. God even chose the wedding date by leading her to circle May 5 on her calendar, without saying a word to me. At the time I was a missionary on deputation. As it happened, the only date I had free in the Spring was May 5, so that is when we were married. We served God together in Japan for 33 years, and will soon celebrate our 43nd anniversary. God is good.

 

Since you have your churches and this mission work in common, have you considered going that route? I mean through ones involved, for example, pastors, leaders, organizers.

Her living at home would not be a negative in my opinion. If you want to be really old-fashioned, perhaps ask her father what he thinks about how you should approach his daughter. It might really move you to the front of the line.

 

Well said. If I had seen this reply first, I probably wouldn't have bothered posting mine.

 

It would be no harder than stalking her at church. Plus it's honest.

 

1 Corinthians 7
YLT(i) 1 And concerning the things of which ye wrote to me: good it is for a man not to touch a woman, 2 and because of the whoredom let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her proper husband; 3 to the wife let the husband the due benevolence render, and in like manner also the wife to the husband; 4 the wife over her own body hath not authority, but the husband; and, in like manner also, the husband over his own body hath not authority, but the wife. 5 Defraud not one another, except by consent for a time, that ye may be free for fasting and prayer, and again may come together, that the Adversary may not tempt you because of your incontinence; 6 and this I say by way of concurrence—not of command, 7 for I wish all men to be even as I myself am; but each his own gift hath of God, one indeed thus, and one thus. 8 And I say to the unmarried and to the widows: it is good for them if they may remain even as I am; 9 and if they have not continence—let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn;
10 and to the married I announce—not I, but the Lord—let not a wife separate from a husband: 11 but and if she may separate, let her remain unmarried, or to the husband let her be reconciled, and let not a husband send away a wife. 12 And to the rest I speak—not the Lord—if any brother hath a wife unbelieving, and she is pleased to dwell with him, let him not send her away; 13 and a woman who hath a husband unbelieving, and he is pleased to dwell with her, let her not send him away; 14 for the unbelieving husband hath been sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife hath been sanctified in the husband; otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 And, if the unbelieving doth separate himself—let him separate himself: the brother or the sister is not under servitude in such cases, and in peace hath God called us; 16 for what, hast thou known, O wife, whether the husband thou shalt save? or what, hast thou known, O husband, whether the wife thou shalt save?
17 if not, as God did distribute to each, as the Lord hath called each—so let him walk; and thus in all the assemblies do I direct: 18 being circumcised—was any one called? let him not become uncircumcised; in uncircumcision was any one called? let him not be circumcised; 19 the circumcision is nothing, and the uncircumcision is nothing—but a keeping of the commands of God. 20 Each in the calling in which he was called—in this let him remain; 21 a servant—wast thou called? be not anxious; but if also thou art able to become free—use it rather; 22 for he who is in the Lord—having been called a servant—is the Lord's freedman: in like manner also he the freeman, having been called, is servant of Christ: 23 with a price ye were bought, become not servants of men; 24 each, in that in which he was called, brethren, in this let him remain with God.
25 And concerning the virgins, a command of the Lord I have not; and I give judgment as having obtained kindness from the Lord to be faithful: 26 I suppose, therefore, this to be good because of the present necessity, that it is good for a man that the matter be thus: — 27 Hast thou been bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed; hast thou been loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou mayest marry, thou didst not sin; and if the virgin may marry, she did not sin; and such shall have tribulation in the flesh: and I spare you. 29 And this I say, brethren, the time henceforth is having been shortened—that both those having wives may be as not having; 30 and those weeping, as not weeping; and those rejoicing, as not rejoicing; and those buying, as not possessing; 31 and those using this world, as not using it up; for passing away is the fashion of this world. 32 And I wish you to be without anxiety; the unmarried is anxious for the things of the Lord, how he shall please the Lord; 33 and the married is anxious for the things of the world, how he shall please the wife. 34 The wife and the virgin have been distinguished: the unmarried is anxious for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit, and the married is anxious for the things of the world, how she shall please the husband. 35 And this for your own profit I say: not that I may cast a noose upon you, but for the seemliness and devotedness to the Lord, undistractedly,
36 and if any one doth think it to be unseemly to his virgin, if she may be beyond the bloom of age, and it ought so to be, what he willeth let him do; he doth not sin—let him marry. 37 And he who hath stood stedfast in the heart—not having necessity—and hath authority over his own will, and this he hath determined in his heart—to keep his own virgin—doth well; 38 so that both he who is giving in marriage doth well, and he who is not giving in marriage doth better.
39 A wife hath been bound by law as long time as her husband may live, and if her husband may sleep, she is free to be married to whom she will—only in the Lord; 40 and she is happier if she may so remain—according to my judgment; and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

 

Then why did you ask Americans? Go ask her papa, like has been suggested.

 

Invite her in a Christian Forum where you can interact with her without using social media apps. Also, throw your chances to visit her in their church since you are living in one country only. Is your city far away from hers?