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A Rabbi Explains Hell?

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by tyndale1946, May 10, 2017.

  1. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    I was going to put this in the Baptist Theology Forum as there is a discussion on there of a Biblical hell. Then I felt it would detract from the discussion and may offend some... So I put it here and to say that the Rabbi stretches the truth some is an understatement... Brother Glen:rolleyes:

    Dear Rabbi,
    Do Jews believe in Hell? I am not planning any trips there or anything, but I have heard conflicting reports about its existence.

    Answer:
    We do believe in a type of Hell, but not the one found in cartoons and joke books. Hell is not a punishment in the conventional sense; it is, in fact, the expression of a great kindness.
    The Jewish mystics described a spiritual place called “Gehinnom.” This is usually translated as “Hell,” but a better translation would be “the Supernal Washing Machine.” Because that’s exactly how it works. The way our soul is cleansed in Gehinnom is similar to the way our clothes are cleansed in a washing machine.
    Put yourself in your socks’ shoes, so to speak. If you were to be thrown into boiling hot water and flung around for half an hour, you might start to feel that someone doesn’t like you. However, the fact is that it is only after going through a wash cycle that the socks can be worn again.
    We don’t put our socks in the washing machine to punish them. We put them through what seems like a rough and painful procedure only to make them clean and wearable again. The intense heat of the water loosens the dirt, and the force of being swirled around shakes it off completely. Far from hurting your socks, you are doing them a favor by putting them through this process.
    So too with the soul. Every act we do in our lifetime leaves an imprint on our soul. The good we do brightens and elevates our soul, and every wrongdoing leaves a stain that needs to be cleansed. If, at the end of our life, we leave this world without fixing the wrongs we have done, our soul is unable to reach its place of rest on high. We must go through a cycle of deep cleansing. Our soul is flung around at an intense spiritual heat to rid it of any residue it may have gathered, and to prepare it for entry into Heaven.
    Of course, this whole process can be avoided. If we truly regret the wrong we have done and make amends with the people we have hurt, we can leave this world with “clean socks.”
    That’s why our Sages said, “Repent one day before you die.” And what should you do if you don’t know which day that will be? Repent today.
     
  2. Greg Merrill

    Greg Merrill New Member

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    Like much of false doctrine, this does make sense, though Scripturally speaking it is nonsense.
     
  3. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    Dumb question :), is this a joke or for real? Did a real Rabbi answer a real question like this?
     
  4. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    kyredneck I'm not pulling your leg this was an actual response to a question posed by someone to a Rabbi named Aron Moss, the Rabbi was in Australia... I wasn't looking for it I just found it... This was on the internet but who knows... Instead of telling you here is the link... I wouldn't make this stuff up... Brother Glen:)

    Do Jews Believe in Hell? - What Is the Jewish Belief on Hell?
     
    #4 tyndale1946, May 25, 2017
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
  5. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    Wow. Thanks for sharing it Brother Glenn.
     
  6. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    Thank you for sharing Satan At The Wailing Wall and the connecting links... They do say truth is stranger than fiction... Brother Glen:)
     
  7. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    Interesting. I suppose Arminianism holds to spiritual dry cleaning (help in getting the stains out) but the Calvinists get new clothes. :p
     
  8. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    IMO you really should have posted this at least in the General Baptist forum, because, this is no joke. It's for real! Like you said, you can't make this stuff up.
     
  9. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    I took your advice and posted it in the Baptist Theology Forum... Hell Is A Real Place... Will this shake up the board... Stand back and watch the feathers fly... Some may say well his answer in a Symbolic or Allegorical way and this is a Metaphorical interpretation... Let them try!... I got an answer for that too... The worst scenario is they will just ignore it... I hope not I want to have some FUN!:Roflmao... Stick around I'm about to rock the boat... You know me:Whistling... Brother Glen:Biggrin
     
  10. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    Between my poor eyes and the small font on my IPad I keep reading the title of the thread as:

    A Rabbit explains Hell

    Rob
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    Maybe you need better glasses or a bigger IPad... Who knows maybe there is a topic on that too?... Strange things have been said on here!... Maybe in Rabbit Hell there are NO CARROTS or LETTUCE or... Brother Glen:D
     
    #11 tyndale1946, May 26, 2017
    Last edited: May 26, 2017
  12. Happy

    Happy Well-Known Member
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    LOL ~ Repent today? Why? He just spent an entire paragraph preaching how there is a place created for a dead mans soul to be cycled through a deep cleansing in preparation for its entry into Heaven!

    Too bad he is ignorant of the fact; preparation for a soul to enter Heaven is accomplished when the soul is ON earth, IN the living body.

    :Rolleyes
     
  13. JohnDBaptiste

    JohnDBaptiste Member
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    Well, now we know where the Catholics got the Purgatory ideas from.
     
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