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As I Get Older I come To Realize

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by tyndale1946, Feb 19, 2018.

  1. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
    2 - I consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.
    3 - I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me.
    4 - My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
    5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
    6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
    7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.
    8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
    9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
    10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than me.
    11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I'm there.
    12 - When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.
    13 - Some days I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed.
    14 - I thought growing old would take longer
    15 - Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up.
    16 - I still haven't learned to act my age.

    Now I'm older and wiser!... OK!... I'm older... Brother Glen:D
     
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  2. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    This is now on my FB page!
     
  3. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    # 17 - I work simply because I want to - and quit on a whim - and still have a monthly income!
    ( and the boss knows it too!)
     
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  4. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    # 18 - I keep telling myself, "all these aches and pains are to remind me, I'm still alive! Maybe not kicking so high, but still alive!"
     
  5. Kentuckymama

    Kentuckymama New Member

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    I keep trying to figure out how my boys got older than me!!!

    And who in the world are these kids calling me Mammaw???
     
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