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Babylon Bee: CNN buys industrial washing machine

Discussion in 'News & Current Events' started by church mouse guy, Mar 2, 2018.

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  1. church mouse guy

    church mouse guy Well-Known Member
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    ATLANTA, GA—In order to aid the news station in preparing stories for consumption, popular news media organization CNN purchased an industrial-sized washing machine to help its journalists and news anchors spin the news before publication.


    The custom-made device allows CNN reporters to load just the facts of a given issue, turn a dial to “spin cycle,” and within five minutes, receive a nearly unrecognizable version of the story that’s been spun to fit with the news station’s agenda.

    One reporter was seen inserting the facts of a recent news story early Thursday morning.

    “Okay, so we just slip in the location, the people involved, the facts of the story, and there we go,” he muttered as he fiddled with the buttons and dials on the machine. “Spin for five minutes on high, and we’ll have ourselves a news story.”

    Minutes later, he removed the story and found it had turned into a perfect piece to push universal health care, common-sense gun control, and the removal of President Trump from office.

    CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication
     
    #1 church mouse guy, Mar 2, 2018
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  2. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell Well-Known Member
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    #2 Revmitchell, Mar 3, 2018
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  3. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace Well-Known Member
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    Frankly, I believe the article; only difference is that occasionally the "spin" puts the wrong slant & has to be "re-spun" as indicated by the following:

    Two boys are playing football at this park in a small town in South Carolina when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler.

    Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

    A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy he's going to write the story and says, "I'll title it 'Young Tiger Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal.'"


    I'm not a Tiger fan", the little hero replies.

    "Sorry, since we're in South Carolina, I just assumed you were", says the reporter and he starts writing again. He asks, "How does 'Gamecock Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack' sound?"

    "I'm not a Gamecock fan either", the boy says.


    "Oh, I thought everyone in South Carolina was either for the Tigers or the Gamecocks. "What team do you root for?", the reporter asks.

    "I'm just visiting my cousin, I'm a Georgia Bulldog fan", the boy replies, "they're just the best!"

    The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little Redneck From Georgia Kills Beloved Family Pet". :Laugh:Inlove:Biggrin:Whistling

    Sound typical/reasonable/believable???
     
    #3 just-want-peace, Mar 3, 2018
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  4. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member
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    Regarding this article Facebook gave the Babylon Bee a warning for spreading Fake News.

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk
     
    #4 InTheLight, Mar 3, 2018
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  5. church mouse guy

    church mouse guy Well-Known Member
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    This is crazy that the leftists think that someone might take this joke literally. The left is nutty.
     
    #5 church mouse guy, Mar 3, 2018
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  6. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    I'm washing my hands of this thread!!!
     
    #6 Salty, Mar 3, 2018
  7. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    #7 Salty, Mar 3, 2018
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