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California to Texas Language Translator

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by InTheLight, Oct 14, 2011.

  1. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member

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    Due to the large number of jobs moving from California to Texas, Texas has compiled a "Californian to Texan" translation guide


    CALIFORNIA.......................TEXAS
    Arsenal of Weapons............Gun Collection
    Delicate Wetlands..............Swamp
    Undocumented Worker.........Illegal Alien
    Cruelty-Free Materials.........Synthetic Fiber
    Heavily Armed...................Well-protected
    Narrow-minded..................Righteous
    Pay Your Fair Share...........Coerced Theft
    Gun Control Law...............Gun Confiscation Plot
    Illegal Explosives...............Fireworks for Stump Removal
    Nonviable Tissue Mass........Unborn Baby
    Equality of Opportunity........Socialism
    Multicultural Community.......High Crime Area
    Fairness or Social Progress..Marxism
    The Wealthy.....................Self-Employed
    Progressive, Change...........Big Government Scheme
    Homeless/Disadvantaged.....Bums/Welfare Leeches
    Sniper Rifle.......................Scoped Deer Rifle
    Investment In the Future....Higher Taxes
    Healthcare Reform.............Socialized Medicine
    Judgmental Extremist.........Conservative
    Truants............................Homeschoolers
    Victim or Oppressed...........Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
    High Capacity Magazine......Standard Capacity Magazine
    Religious Zealot.................Church-goer
    Reintroduced Wolves..........Livestock and Deer Killers
    Clean Air Controls for Cars...Horsepower Restrictors
    Fair Trade Coffee...............Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
    Exploiters or 'The Rich'........Employed or Land Owner
    The Gun Lobby..................NRA Members
    Assault Weapon.................Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
    Fiscal Stimulus Plan............New Taxes and Higher Taxes
    Same Sex Marriage.............Legalized Perversion
     
    #1 InTheLight, Oct 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2011
  2. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    I trust you have copyrighted this! :thumbsup:

    In fact I may want to use this on my web page for L.E.F.T
     
  3. Anastasia

    Anastasia New Member

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    That was a fun read.
     
  4. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    You could use those Texas terms for where I live as well. :laugh:

    I especially liked:

    Illegal Explosives...............Fireworks for Stump Removal


    Yep. Sounds like my neck of the woods. :laugh:
     
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