caution re changing a church

Is it really a humble heart that caused me to question what the church did? Unfortunately I must confess I don't think that's the case. I believe a lot of the time I'm my own man, even though I believe in and submit to God. Having someone else intercede on my behalf when I think to myself that I don't need any help, any at all, is shocking. I don't even let my wife help me most of the time. It's a horrible attitude, I know. It will indeed take an act of God to break it--hopefully nothing like what Job went through, of course...

One thing this whole thing has done as it's sunk in: it has made me realize how utterly empty I do feel. It is slowly beginning to dawn on me how distant from other people I've made myself, even people I consider friends and family. Learning to love? That might be the miracle in all this.

 

Josh, although this thread has gone in a direction I didn't anticipate, I am convinced that this is of God.

When I read your first post (#12) about the difficulty in finding a church where you would be comfortable, I was touched. It was remarkably candid and personal, Here is Mr. My Own Man (as you described yourself) in a situation you can't seem to fix.

I thought to myself, that could be me. I'm Mr. Self-Sufficient personified. I always felt like I could handle any problem that came my way. But there were some problems that came my way that I couldn't handle. As a last resort, I prayed, and asked God what was going on.

Now God doesn't speak audibly to me. I'm a bit leery when I hear somebody glibly say "God told me so-and-so." But then it came to me. God had put me in that position so that I had nowhere else to go but Him. Nothing I tried had worked. In desperation, Mr. Self-Sufficient was forced into depending on God.

God didn't solve every problem for me. But it taught me something. When life hits a snag, take it to God first, not last.

Last week, my wife Janice asked if the choir could sing "Through It All" on Sunday. It had been on her mind for a week. We did. One line is "I've learned to trust in Jesus. I've learned to trust in God."

The last line is "Through It All, I've learned to depend upon His word."

Hmm, of course, this is all coincidence, right? Right? Naaaah.

Actually, I'm really looking forward to seeing how God works in all this.

 

Very well said, my brother. I can think of nothing I would add to what you have said, except....AMEN!

 

Josh, you are not distant from anyone in your immediate family or at the church you grew up in. Listen to what Brother Tom is telling you. It is very sound advice. He and you have much more in common in this area than we do. You are both independent and take the bull by the horns mentality. I pretty much in leadership positions am more of a consensus person, even though the decision is usually mine anyhow. I seek out help, but you two are free spirits. We all love you.

 

I just want to say a couple of things before this post goes into the background. I didn't mean to intimate that I was angry, disappointed or upset about what happened. It was just a little overwhelming to think that a church would pray for just me, and hard to believe that anyone cared beyond family.

I'm coming back into my faith slowly but surely, and working out my theology once again, not according to what seems fair or logical to me, but what's written in the Word. I am attending church and I have people holding me accountable for keeping my relationship with God in top shape.

Some days it's hard. God boggles the mind, and one who respects logic and science like I do has difficulty coming to terms with not being able to completely understand something. It's at that point you have to rely on faith.

It's strange, too. I can debate atheists into an absolute stalemate, but I feel like I can't even start to debate here without looking like a fool. But I will be able to debate someday.

God bless everyone, and thanks to all who prayed for me.

 

Oh, we're not done yet.

 

Dare I ask, not done with what?

 

We're not done praying for you.

 

Well then I'm not done praying for the church.

 

I listened to thE "Rock of Ages" up there and it was awesome! Just EXCELLANT.

 

Then we have a deal.