Anthony Pritchard
Active Member
Those Who Seek Light and Those Who Stir Heat
There are only two kinds of people in any discussion. There are those who want clarity, and there are those who want conflict. The difference between them is not subtle once you learn to see it. One seeks understanding. The other seeks advantage. One asks questions to illuminate. The other asks questions to corner. One listens to the words. The other listens only for an opening.
The Scriptures give us a picture of the man who wants clarity. In Acts 17:11 we read, “These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.” The Bereans wanted clarity. They listened carefully, examined the evidence, and sought truth rather than victory. They were not threatened by the possibility that they might be wrong. They were not offended by the need to search. They wanted to understand.
Proverbs 18:13 describes the same spirit. “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” The man who wants clarity listens first. He does not react before understanding. He does not assume motives. He does not rush to judgment. He wants to hear the matter fully so that he may judge it rightly.
James 1:19 gives the same pattern. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” Clarity requires humility. It requires the willingness to hear before speaking. It requires the patience to understand before responding. The man who wants clarity is not trying to win. He is trying to see.
The Scriptures also show us the man who wants conflict. In Luke 11:53 and 54 we read, “And as he said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things. Laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.” These men were not listening to understand. They were listening to accuse. They were not seeking truth. They were seeking an opening. They wanted conflict, not clarity.
Proverbs 26:21 describes this kind of man. “As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” Some people do not want clarity. They want fuel. They want heat. They want the fire of contention because it gives them a sense of power.
Proverbs 29:9 shows the futility of reasoning with such a person. “If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he rage or laugh, there is no rest.” The man who wants conflict cannot be satisfied. He may rage or he may mock, but he will not understand. His goal is not truth. His goal is victory.
Titus 3:9 gives the warning plainly. “But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law, for they are unprofitable and vain.” Some arguments are not about truth. They are about ego. They are about pride. They are about the desire to win rather than the desire to know.
The man who wants clarity will slow the conversation down. He will ask what you meant. He may restate your point to be sure he heard you correctly. He will separate the issue from the person. He will not assume the worst. He will not take offense where none was given. He is not afraid of questions. He welcomes light.
The man who wants conflict will speed the conversation up. He will jump to conclusions. He will assign meanings you never intended. He will take a question as an accusation and a clarification as an attack. He will not restate your point because he is not interested in what you meant. He is interested in what he can make your words mean. He prefers heat to light.
Clarity builds understanding. Conflict builds walls. Clarity strengthens relationships. Conflict fractures them. Clarity seeks the truth. Conflict seeks the upper hand.
In every discussion, the first task is to discern which kind of person you are dealing with. If you are speaking with a man who wants clarity, you can reason with him. If you are speaking with a man who wants conflict, you cannot. You can only choose whether to participate in the conflict he is trying to create.
The wise man chooses clarity. The wiser man recognizes when clarity is impossible and refuses to be drawn into a battle that has nothing to do with truth.
Colophon
This meditation was written in quiet reflection on the nature of conversation and the character of those who enter it. It is offered in the hope that readers will learn to discern the spirit of clarity from the spirit of contention, and choose the better path.
Claritatis amator, non contentionis - One who loves clarity, not contention.
~Tony
© A.K. Pritchard 1979 -
Free to use with proper attribution.