1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Deacon disqualified

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Fake johnny mac, Aug 24, 2017.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Fake johnny mac

    Fake johnny mac New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2017
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Faith:
    Baptist
    I could really use your advice or guidance.

    I have been a Christian for about 12 yrs and a baptist deacon for about 10 yrs, I teach adult Sunday school, and I give a message when our pastor is absent and everyone at my church says I am called to be a pastor. They tell my wife to get ready because you are going to be a pastor's wife or say things to me like "God is already calling you but you are running from the calling". But the truth is I want to be a pastor and I want to go to seminary. I have since I first became a Christian but I dismissed the urge because I figured every new believer feels that way but the desire keeps coming back and I keep dismissing it. The main reason that I did is because I saw myself as disqualified because my wife is not necessarily what I would consider "a Godly women". Don't get me wrong, it's not like she is unfaithful or anything. She does go to church with me (but sometimes she comes late intentionally because church lasts too long) and participates in our nightly family bible study, she just doesn't seem all that concerned about spiritual growth or sin, repentance and righteousness. She is also not very submissive (but a lot more than she used to be). For example, I really can't see her submitting to the church if the church tried to practice church discipline. She is a lot different than she used to be, but I think that it is more a change in behavior but not a changed heart.

    So anyway I was going through the verses about the qualifications of a pastor (which I always included what it had to say about deacons because if it is a qualification for a deacon it would obviously apply to a pastor as well), like I have many times before, trying to make sure I understood what it had to say about the character of a pastor's wife correctly (And honestly I was hoping I was wrong) and it dawns on me that, if I understand it correctly not only am I not qualified to be a pastor or preacher but I'm also disqualified to be a deacon.

    So what do I do now? Am I also disqualified from teaching Sunday school? And how do i handle this? If I need to step down as a deacon and teacher, what reason do i give? What do i tell my wife when she asks, "I'm stepping down because you aren't born again, and you don't act like a Christian should"? What reason do I give the church (because everyone will ask), "It's because of my wife"? I really don't want to put her to shame like that and I'mobviously not going to lie about it.

    So there is my situation any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance,
    God bless
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Rolfe

    Rolfe Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
    Messages:
    6,805
    Likes Received:
    622
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Tell them that it is not their business. Your Wife should have priority over church busy-bodies.
     
  3. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2011
    Messages:
    7,229
    Likes Received:
    510
    Faith:
    Baptist
    You and your wife should and must be on the same page when it comes to the ministry and the call of God.

    First, the idea of submission.
    You need to remember that Biblical submission is not the wife following the husband's orders, rather the wife submitting to the love of the husband. That is, the Scriptures specifically state that husbands are to love their wife, not wife love the husband. The more a husband adores a Godly wife the more she will respond in working hard to never embarrass and to please him.

    Second, the life of the ministry is not easy under any conditions, and if there is resistance or reluctance in you life partner at this point, then I recommend you wait for them to catch up.

    There is no reason for you not to do the work of a minister (ministering to your class) as a microcosm of being a church pastor. Certainly, you won't be paid, won't have certain benefits, won't have certain privileges, and won't be recognized in public as one having a position. What you will gain no seminary class will teach. That is practicle experience of dealing with joys and tragedies that are part of any work done for the Lord Jesus.

    Third, don't rush. Be patient. The Dallas Theological seminary has much of their course work free, on line. There are others that offer the same. And it isn't like your graded or have to meet some professor expectations.

    BOTH you and your wife work through the class work. It will not only enhance your personal knowledge of the Scriptures, but will give you common discussion areas that will help you and your wife better understand not just the Scriptures, but each other.

    Lastly a warning. Put your wife first. Keep her first. Nothing comes before her. Not church, not other people, and certainly no other obligations.

    More often reluctant and resistance are found in the relationship because personal priorities have become askew, and that is never good. It is more often a hazard and can be fatale to the marriage.

    The wife is never to be second. She needs to not only be told that, but shown it in every day and way.

    Trust this helps.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. HankD

    HankD Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    May 14, 2001
    Messages:
    22,771
    Likes Received:
    1,677
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Absolutely gain education from Godly sources.

    Above all study Hebrew and Greek along with history related to Israel and the Church.

    RE: your wife

    Prayer, God will open or shut doors.
    Even a shut door - push - if it wont open, that is your answer.
    No human being can give you the ultimate answer(s) you are seeking.

    But human advice is good from those who have walked the walk to help you avoid the dangers.

    HankD
     
  5. FollowTheWay

    FollowTheWay Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2013
    Messages:
    3,440
    Likes Received:
    154
    Faith:
    Baptist
    If you feel called to be a pastor answer the call. It sounds as if you are qualified to start this change. You might run into some issues but in my mind the bottom line is to serve our Lord in the best way you can. My twin brother felt the call to become a pastor at age 42 and went to the SBS. I've pretty much taken the route you have. I've served in many different ways including lay preaching. I've found I get a great deal of joy out of doing the best I can.

    I agree with the person who suggested that one option is to continue what you're already doing and look for ways to extend that. Another option for preaching is to preach at retirement homes. That's what I've done once a month for the last 6 1/2 years and occasionally before that. Retirement homes are always looking for a qualified man of God to preach. I could add another Sunday a month at a different home but haven't decided because that would mean not singing in the choir or going to Sunday School half the time.
     
    #5 FollowTheWay, Oct 3, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2017
  6. rsr

    rsr <b> 7,000 posts club</b>
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Messages:
    11,289
    Likes Received:
    671
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Agedman has some good advice. If your wife is not on board with your ministry, your way of life, there will be plenty of trouble ahead.

    And you have sworn an oath to love and honor your wife, so that must take precedence over what you would like to do. And what other folks think you should do.

    Keep ministering as you can and let God take care of the rest.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. Pastor Sam

    Pastor Sam Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    16
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Keep serving the Lord. If you feel the call of God answer it. Let God deal with your wife. God doesn’t call without providing the tools to complete the job.
     
  8. Pastor Sam

    Pastor Sam Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    16
    Faith:
    Baptist
    This is excellent advice I wish I had written it.
     
  9. rsr

    rsr <b> 7,000 posts club</b>
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Messages:
    11,289
    Likes Received:
    671
    Faith:
    Baptist
    The OP has not posted since August, so this thread is closed.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Loading...