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Dealing with a "negative" friend

Discussion in 'Free-For-All Archives' started by Speedpass, Mar 21, 2004.

  1. Speedpass

    Speedpass Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Feb 14, 2002
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    I don't know if I am posting this in the proper forum, but here goes:

    A buddy of mine in Tennessee, whom I have known since 1992 when we were both on summer staff at Ridgecrest, have been pretty close the past 2 yrs--esp when I lived in Jackson(where he has spent most of his life). However, every time I talk to him on the phone or Yahoo IM, he is starting to sound like a broken record. He is always complaining about how difficult it is to find a good, Christian woman to go out with. He is also sounding like a dead horse regarding a very sensitive social issue in today's society. I don't have the heart to tell him, but he is beginning to depress me every time I call him and he brings up these issues(among others). How can I tell him, in a polite and tactful manner, that I don't want him talking about that stuff all the time?
  2. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia Guest

    Jimmy, I have to honest and say this guy sounds like my mother. When I don't feel like dealing with her 'woe is me' attitude, I don't answer the phone.

    It IS difficult to find a good Christian woman. We've got a 27 year old son who would love to find a good girl to marry but to him, that includes no divorce, no kids from previous relationships and no loose reputation. There's not that many girls in this area who don't have either kids or exhubbies by this age.

    My suggestion is to tell your friend he brings you down. I've told my mother that certain discussions are off limits. If she wants to say positive things, fine, but I do NOT want to hear how I'm going to die because I don't have health insurance. [​IMG]

  3. music4Him

    music4Him New Member

    Feb 7, 2004
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    Tell your friend a "good" christian woman will be hard to find. [​IMG]

    Matthew 19:17
    17. And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.

    Just ask him if he was doing something to bother you, would he like to know about it? Or you may just try the direct approach and come right out and tell him the truth? He may not even realize what hes doing? If he gets offended and doesn't want to be your friend anymore for you being truthful maybe its time to move on and find another friend? Friends should be able to talk about anything. [​IMG]

    But maybe best of all..... just pray before you speak to him and ask the Lord to fill your mouth with the right words. [​IMG]

    I pray that things work out. [​IMG]

    Music4Him :D
  4. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

    Dec 30, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Try saying something to the effect of "man, you're depressing me, can we talk about something else?"

    Also keep in mind that part of being a friend is understanding that things your friend considers important are part of who that person is. Not taking them seriously or not caring about what's important to them is denying them true friendship. Try weighing in with some thoughts on these things that are important to him, and it might become interesting conversation instead of just another boring time to sit and listen to something you don't care about. Enter a bit of humor to the conversation too. If you let a depressed person just talk they usually talk themselves into a deeper depression if you don't intervene at some point in time and make them think, or make them smile.

    Or, just start preaching, or taking really long to reply every time he talks about something you don't want him too. LOL It's like conditioning...soon he'll start to associate that topic with you preaching at or ignoring him, and it'll become a topic of dislike. :p (ok that's mean, don't really do it)