Divorce...its awful wake effects so many others...

Divorce is very, very destructive. The Lord hates it, and that should be enough. The problem is that people are not letting God guide their search for a spouse. Once married, they are too lazy to make the marriage grow.

For years, I have debated others about second marriages and other such issues in the church. I have finally come to the conclusion that is a sad argument, as the very arguement itself implies failure.

Instead of worrying about how a church responds to second marriage, we should be praying for God's grace to help heal the first ones.

Very good article.

 

Whether it be divorces, or infidelities of either spouse, and may I add, in today's moral context, partners, the children are almost always the real victims.

 

While I don't disagree with the spouse searching comment, this has more to do with failed marriages than anything else. It doesn't matter whether you married the "right" spouse or not, you still promised you were going to be with him/her for the rest of your life. You still promised you were going to forsake all others. As I remember, neither my wife nor I made any qualifying statements like, "And as long as I still think you're the one I should have married..."

My bride and I will be celebrating 12 years this Sunday. We came thiiisssss close to divorce 4 years ago, but both of us decided that we weren't quitters. We didn't know how it was going to happen, but God brought us back from the edge of the cliff, figuratively speaking, of course. I praise the Lord every single day for not letting us go.

 

Divorce is a very selfish act.

 

It sure is.

And so is infidelity, which in many cases causes as much hurt to children as it does to the offended party.

 

So is infidelity.

 

Sometimes.

And sometimes divorce is the best, most God-honoring alternative to a relationship that is destructive/dangerous or has ended.

 

In what instance is divorce God-honoring

 

You didn't ask me, but I can think of at least one. How about when the husband is an abusive jerk who beats his wife and children? There is nothing God-honoring about a wife staying in that kind of horrible situation.

 

How about a husband who has an adulterous wife, but still keeps his love for her ?

 

When remaining in the relationship is destructive and causes serious harm to either partner, children in the relationship, and one's witness to the church and the world regarding the justice of God.

There are consequences to bad behavior, hardness of heart and unrepentant sin. Like church discipline that results in expulsion from the fellowship, divorce should not be undertaken lightly, quickly, or without extensive attempts at reconciliation, intervention and assistance by wise and unbiased spiritual counsel, and extensive soul-searching and seeking God.

I know of a number of divorces, both inside my family and involving friends that are clearly justified by scripture and common sense. God is honored when we, in faith, choose the best option from among several terrible options.

 

You can love someone and still divorce them for their own good and the good of others. And if your spouse is repeatedly unfaithful to you and then eventually completely abandons you, expressing their intent and taking steps to ensure they will never return, they have effectively divorced you... the faithful spouse is left with few choices other than to notify the state (through the legal means of divorce) that the marriage had ended.

Certainly grace, faith, and forebearance honor God, but justice and honesty also honors God.

 

I think this is a valid scenario to consider, but the point of my statement was to present an instance where I think a wife standing up for herself and her children against an abuser is the right thing to do.

Well said.

 

I am not in favor of divorce, for any reason, even for the most usual reasons that certain on this board cite - infidelity, adultery, defiled marriage bed.

Having said that, I understand that things happen that are hard to undo, and if one has divorced and remarried, then this is certainly something that cannot be undone, and I make no judgments on these individuals.

I certainly deserved to be divorced, if unfaithfulness was truly a criteria for it, because I fathered two children by another woman while married to my wife, and left my family for 12 years, leaving my children to grow up by themselves, and my wife to do what I should be doing - supporting my family.

Yet, my wife never stopped praying for me, my children were never taught to hate me, and my family as a whole kept their arms open for me.

In due time, God brought me back, in a hard way, to my wife. Not one word was spoken about the past, by her, or by my children, to this day.

But I can sense the hurt in them, unvoiced, but there, and over the years this hurt faded away.

A very personal story, if you all don't mind my sharing this with you.

 

A very powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing.