Does a christian always have to be nice?

I don't think so.
I noticed one thing. I'm sick of always being nice and not saying what I really mean.In the past I often did not say anything when I was angry at somebody for a reason I rather swallowed my anger. But this is even more unhealthy. It eats you from the inside and it also makes you feel like a whimp, like somebody who doesn't even have the guts to stand up for himself.
I cannot imagine that as a christian you have to be this way. I noticed that letting your anger out can feel really liberating. At least you have said what you thought instead of swallowing it. I thought about it and this is simply not the person I want to be. I don't want to be like this anymore and never say my opinion. In the past I also said yes even though I mean not. When somebody asked me for a favor I said yes even if I didn't want to. I'm really sick of this. I only did things because I felt like I "had to" do them, because I thought that as a christian or as a "nice person" you simply "have to" do this. But the problem is when you say yes even though you mean no you cannot even respect yourself anymore and then you start hating yourself. I have sometimes done things and later on I was so angry at myself for doing it that I felt like beating myself up. I think it's better to be true to yourself. Or what do you think? It simply cannot be healthy to try to be nice and patient and tolerant and never say what you think.

 

Often I am angry at my brother because he never cleans up his stuff at home.
He always causes a mess like a stupid 6 year old! This really upsets me and my father, too. Even though he is an adult he still causes a mess and simply doesn't stick to the rules. Sometimes I think he might be doing this on purpose to either demonstrate that he is "above the law" or to see how far he can go. Often I feel like exploding and I feel like yelling at him and really letting all this anger out but I never do because somehow I'm kind of scared of him. But always swallowing this anger also isn't a solution. And you cannot talk to him, if I said to him that he shall clean up his stuff in a normal way he would freak out or tell me to shut up. And my father also doesn't do much against it. Sometimes he gets upset over it but he never really makes it clear and really pulls the consequences because he doesn't want to ruin his relationship with my brother. But what's the worth of such a relationship when you have somebody who doesn't even do the most easiest things in the household and who is more or less like a parasite? My brother is a parasite. He eats, drinks, sleeps, showers and doesn't do anything to help out in the house. He is like a guest in a hotel who is served and doesn't do anything and this really angers me. He's so arrogant he thinks that only because he is so busy studying he doesn't even have to wash his own dishes. GRRR
If I was my father I would have made this clear long time ago. I would have told him to either stick to the rules or he'll be thrown out but my father doesn't do this and so he gets upset over my brother and I also get upset over my brother because I see how he behaves. He simply doesn't care. When he uses a dish then he doesn't wash it and put it back into the cupboard he simply puts it into the sink and he knows exactly that my father has to wash it and put it back even though my father has arthritis and his hands hurt but he does not care!!! He simply doesn't care.
Either my father cleans it up or I clean it up and the thought that I clean up the stuff of my brother who is too lazy to clean up his own stuff makes me really angry. And this anger builds up over the years and I bet in his own eyes my brother even thinks he's a good son and I'm the bad one. He thinks only because he's a more successful student he's better. I am so sick of him because he's such an arrogant, unpleasant person.

 

Okay, but Jesus knew that he was right. I don't know if I'm right when I become angry.

 

Exactly. As a christian you don't always have to be nice just because people might expect you to be nice just because you're a christian.