Eternal Security and Marriage?

Weird title, I know.

I'm definitely a believer in eternal security. It's one of those doctrines that's very important to me. It would be difficult for me to fellowship at a church that did not believe in ES. Too many errors abound from the idea you can lose your salvation.

But, something came up that really has me thinking. A friend of mine called off an engagement (or potential engagement) over this issue. Everything seemed perfect, but then this issue arose and my friend eventually felt they needed to end things. Very sad, as everything else seemed to line up and both individuals are pretty broken up about it.

I was one of the persons consulted about this, and probably contributed to their decision, though would never make that decision for anyone. And now I'm feeling really bad for both individuals.

If anyone has any advice or thoughts about this, please share. If I'm consulted again, I'd like to speak with as much wisdom as possible.

 

zactly, though I wouldn't say engaged, but rather heading that way.

 

Thanks for that. That would be the ideal (that they would both move to the same position, and I would pray it would be eternal security). In this case, the one who believes in conditional security (that you can lose your salvation) says he's becoming more firm as he studies the issue (though both are quite young). He is involved in a church that speaks about it often, and warns against it often. His family and church family are very firm. The same with her and her family and church.

He says he's willing to work it out, but I've warned her that it's going to be a tough road. She has to also consider that he'll be the spiritual leader of the house. What church would they attend? What counselors would they seek? What do they teach their kids? Knowing how strong she is in her convictions I think she's going to be miserable in that environment. My advice to both is to take a step back.

They may or may not listen. I actually feel bad for them both, as they've progressed quite far in their relationship and have agreement on a myriad of things from origins to eschatology. And I think Christians can work through theological disagreements. But this one issue just seems monumental.