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Ministering/Witnessing to a coworker (opposite sex)

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by John Ellwood Taylor, Jan 18, 2006.

  1. Shiloh

    Shiloh New Member

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    John E "I just feel that when the Lord bring people into our lives and express needs we who are able should seek to meet those needs"
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    How do you know the Lord brought her into your life?
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    Scarlett "The married men at my church shake my hand, speak to me, hug me and have meaning dialogues with me at church and when I see them out and about around town."
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    No kidding, For every one time that kind of fellowship turned out all right, I'll give you ten that didn't. I am a preacher, and you people know I don't mince words. In the situation that John E spoke about I followed and there was good advice given by most. However she did just what I thought she would do. 1. She didn't want money. 2. She didn't want Salvation. 3. What did she want?
     
  2. John Ellwood Taylor

    John Ellwood Taylor New Member

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    In a word, providence.
    From Easton’s dictionary, “providenceliterally means foresight, but is generally used to denote God's preserving and governing all things by means of second causes (Ps. 18:35; 63:8; Acts 17:28; Col. 1:17; Heb. 1:3). God's providence extends to the natural world (Ps. 104:14; 135:5-7; Acts 14:17), the brute creation (Ps. 104:21-29; Matt. 6:26; 10:29), and the affairs of men (1 Chr. 16:31; Ps. 47:7; Prov. 21:1; Job 12:23; Dan. 2:21; 4:25), and of individuals (1 Sam. 2:6; Ps. 18:30; Luke 1:53; James 4:13-15). It extends also to the free actions of men (Ex. 12:36; 1 Sam. 24:9-15; Ps. 33:14, 15; Prov. 16:1; 19:21; 20:24; 21:1), and things sinful (2 Sam. 16:10; 24:1; Rom. 11:32; Acts 4:27, 28), as well as to their good actions (Phil. 2:13; 4:13; 2 Cor. 12:9, 10; Eph. 2:10; Gal. 5:22-25).”
    Sorry to hear about that 1 for 11 batting average. Should our Lord not have spoken to the woman at the well in Samaria? After all that would have led to gossip; a Jewish man speaking to ahalf-breed woman! Jesus broke all gender/social barriers to offer salvation. Was that not a pattern to follow. Do you as a pastor withhold the gospel from all females unless they’re sitting in the pews in front of your pulpit?
    Wow, your sense of discernment must feel vindicated! It almost sends like a smug “I told you so” that she did not accept either gift (church's money of God's salvation)
    In regards to #1) Correction, she stated she didn’t NEED the monetary gift. Remember, she didn’t ask. Unbeknownst to her I offered the gift along with my testimony and the gospel message (unless you have the gift to discern my intentions beyond what I have clearly recounted to you).

    In response to #2) Who does? See Romans 3:10-12. God has chosen through the foolishness of preaching the cross that people come to faith. Faith comes –by hearing –hearing the Word – the Word that is shared. But of course a pastor would know this? How would she hear the gospel if I didn't share it with her? Should we all let somebody else do it for us? Again see Jesus at the well and the the Good Samaritan stories.

    In response to #3) I’m sure you have an a pre-formed opinion on the matter. My conclusion, “She’s looking for a job right now, probably nothing more”


    I don’t want to mince words either, but I do stand in amazement that someone on a bulletin board hearing one side’s account of sharing the gospel can come to conclusions about the other parties motivation without ever having met or heard from them.
    I wish I had the gift of discernment! Hopefully, the gift of wisdom in exercising it would come as a package deal!

    She did ask me for the address of our church so she could write a thank you letter to the Deacons and Pastor.
    Maybe the Lord would lead her to confess a sin in her life that’s so secret that only you know about?

    In the end, I can say, as the Apostle Paul did in 2 Cor. 2:12, “For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.” And I pray God will open her eyes... 2 Timothy 2:25 …God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth,”.


    Again thanks for the feedback,

    Soli Deo Gloria
     
  3. Shiloh

    Shiloh New Member

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    I know what "Providence" means. Maybe you could have explained that to Joseph in Gen. 39. I didn't write all that to you, your minds made up. I just thought it might help some one else out on this board. There are just some things as a pastor I know. 1. If you are hugging a woman, you better be married to her. 2. If you are talking to a woman that's not related to you anywhere without your wife being present and she relates personal female issues to you, you are already in trouble. 3. If you have told your wife the things you told the people on this board and she doesn't care, you both need help!

    Soli Deo Gloria
     
  4. John Ellwood Taylor

    John Ellwood Taylor New Member

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    Knowing what providence is you would understand that in Joseph's case that while God permitted the sinful actions of one, He's is sovereign over all to use even the sins of unbeliever's to accomplish His purposes. Think of Joseph's brothers selling him into slavery and God using that as the means of ultimately preserving his family.(Gen 45:5; 50:20 yeah that famous verse).
    Again, from Easton's, "As regards sinful actions of men, they are represented as occurring by God's permission (Gen. 45:5; 50:20. Comp. 1 Sam. 6:6; Ex. 7:13; 14:17; Acts 2:3; 3:18; 4:27, 28), and as controlled (Ps. 76:10) and overruled for good (Gen. 50:20; Acts 3:13). God does not cause or approve of sin, but only limits, restrains, overrules it for good."


    Like Joseph, I did not sin. Unlike Joseph I was not tempted by another to sin in situation.

    Not sure why 'hugging' is an issue as I never mentioned nor did any hugging occur. (BTW, remind me not to hug my daughter/mother (sic) in your presence).

    What do we do when people tell us a Christians that their jobs are ending and they are having surgery, if they're women do we run away with our hands on our ears?

    Again, the Mrs. agreed that this lady felt comfortable enough share this we me and that we could help through our church's Deacons' Fund.

    Not sure how/where we're in trouble with that.

    I do joyfully agree that this discussion on the bb can be beneficial to others who may read it. As I have stated, I appreciated the solicited advise. After all, that was the OP, to seek others Christian's advise on what can be an awkward situation.

    In brotherly love,

    J.E.T.


    I'm done posting on this topic and willing to consider this thread closed after anybody makes needed closing comments/observations.
     
  5. bapmom

    bapmom New Member

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    I just read briefly through this thread, and I think John E. has done a good job to the point where he went. Through it all he spoke to his wife.

    From how the lady reacted to the offer of money, I got the idea that she felt it might be inappropriate for her as a single lady to accept money from a married man. She obviously would not understand our way of group giving in the form of a love offering to individuals in need. Her reaction tells me that she was not trying to be inappropriate in her friendship with John, but was just being open.

    Telling him what the operation was for, most likely to her did not mean the level of "intimacy" that I think several people are assuming here in this thread.

    I can't say that Id feel right about married men in the church hugging women besides their wife, but beyond that I saw nothing Id disagree with in anything that Scarlett O. wrote. (I even hesitate to mention that, as I mean no disrespect to Scarlett.)

    I certainly do hope that you are able to talk with her again, John. But at least know that you left the door open for another witness to come along and sow some more seed in her heart. Maybe you and your wife could go together to visit her during her recovery? Your wife might be able to expand on the friendship you have begun.
     
  6. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    I agree! I don't understand the connection between mentioning her surgery to him and "crossing a line" of proper conduct between co-workers.

    Not to worry....I didn't feel disrespected in the least. [​IMG]

    Peace-
    S.O.
    <><
     
  7. gb93433

    gb93433 Active Member
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    If an individual gives to another they thank the person. If a church gives to a person they thank God.
     
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