Featured My Pregnant Sister and CPS

I don't know where you are getting that these condition are even close. We are talking about the possibility of this sister having a 14 year old maturity because she drops out of school and won't clean her room and that is 19 years old and has freely moved out of her house when she was 18 and obviously having no need of any legal guardians.

I've fully acknowledged that if that she was a "mentally handicapped" child that this "boyfriend" would be a problem while demonstrating a lot of reasoning why that probably is not the case.

 

@Benjamin

This is the first paragraph of the OP.

My sister is currently 19, and a year ago she ran away after she decided that she didn't want to follow my Dad's rules. Keep in mind, my Dad spent his whole life taking care of our mother on her deathbed and raising us to the best of his abilities. He's been through a very hard time to say the least. She has a confirmed mental disability that puts her at the maturity level of a 14-year-old, can't really take care of herself, and right now she lives with my aunt who has done nothing but trash-talked my parents' marriage and encouraged my sister to live a sinful lifestyle.
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"Confirmed mental disability.
Can't really take care of herself."

These two conditions would place her situation in the hands of the authorities who have both resources and ability to properly handle the situation.

It would be a disservice to not report this situation.

If this girl is still receiving public school support, it will by law automatically be a reported situation.

 

Agedman, anyone that has read this thread with good basic critical thinking skills would be aware that not only was I the first to bring up this subject of possible abuse but that I have quoted those very words at least 3 times prior and addressed them in far greater detail than you. I did so in light of multiple other issues that were revealed by the Op, in accordance with various related premises, leading to several rational well-reasoned responses as to why an automatic determination of abuse based on inabilities and legal status was unlikely to be a true conclusion and pointed out your neglect of other important issues that would be a concern to the Op, which I factored in along with your fallacious approach while you attempt to insist on that no other conclusions than yours could be drawn in this matter. Therefore, in my lack of interest in further dealing with your curmudgeonistic arguments and having to repeat myself to you, I will simply let my advice to the Op stand as is and wish her well in my prayers.

 

Does she have a legal guardian. If not, why not?

A legal guardian can dictate where she lives and bring the law down on anyone who harbors her.

 

This sounds like she can be reachable by you and her mom and dad. May God give you fokes the wisdom to instructer her where she will hear and understand.

 

Not sure what state you are in, but in this state, the typical Admission Review and Dismissal group doesn't change a medical diagnosis, for that must come from a medical authority (doctor, psychologist, ...)

That committee are only there and meet to adjust educational procedures addressing the needs of that diagnosis. That committee must include the guardian unless that guardian cannot attend.

Practically presented the committee may, if there is less need for speech therapy and more need in some specific educational area, modify the approaches, address behavioral needs, and establish appropriate testing measures and modifications.

This is according to state laws and mandates.

The diagnosis (of what you are describing) must be from the medical community, and can only be changed by that community.

 

So the only thing close to a "diagnosis" is that a doctor (pediatrician?) documented ("on paper") a 7-8 year old "as having a developmental delay and being behind by a couple of years" does not sound at all, in any rational sense a license for the state to take over control of a now, 19 year old's life. This is why I would caution against allowing yours or others subjective opinions to lead you to try to involve the state in your sister's affairs if your sister would consider such actions an offense and my bet is that she would be offended by such threats. Apart from stepping in by any and all means necessary, including involving the state, should you witness some serious abuse or neglect it appears, as you have also said, that your best option is to help where ever you can rather than just simple-minded take the route of jumping into taking your concerns to the "authorities" of the state.

 

Actually, the state does have such control.

For example, a family that has a Down syndrome child is visited yearly by a state official for the care and protection of the child no matter how old (chronicle age) that child may be. The only way that is not done is if the family is rich enough that they do not need any assistance from the state/fed for the the child.

In this situation, because the medical community apparently made a diagnosis, that diagnosis cannot change by the involvement of the educational systems.

The federal program(s) are in such authority that the local system must comply or face very serious consequences.

These programs are not aligned totally chronologically, rather they rely upon the medical community, and extend in some cases far beyond the teen years even to the end of that person's life.

I suppose, Ben, that you and I may have some disagreement on what constitutes "serious abuse or neglect" because the pregnancy itself is an indicator that neglect has occurred (imo).

A five year gap (14 mental - 19 chronicle) between mental/emotional maturity and chronology is not minor (problem not age).

This is why I do not agree about involving the authorities.

This young lady has become the willing victim but non - the - less a victim and there needs to be certain legal authorities who not only bring the law, but have other helps available to them to this situation.

It is possible that legal mandates might be made that will bring security and aid to this victim without which would be tragic.

 

If you really care, you can start paying for doctor's visits, prenatal vitamins, etc. Ask if she wants to attend a childbirth class and then pay for the one she wishes to attend. Yes, you need to pay for it if you really care. Wagging your tongue will not make your sister feels wanted, valued, or trusted.

One other thing - make sure she is actually pregnant.

You are not going to convince her to leave her boyfriend and any potential boyfriend you put in front of her will instantly be dismissed. She is most likely with him because she feels valued, wanted, and trusted. Over time, this may change depending upon the man she is with.

Recognize that the 16-year-old autistic boy was never her boyfriend. So, you have no right to claim she cheated on someone she had no relationship with.

Stop blaming the schools. Blaming everyone else gives a poor example to your sister. Don't ever blame anyone else for what happened if she is around. Recognize the she could have done more. Lay responsibility primarily at her feet. Next, you and your father can accept responsibility. Stop blaming others.

Drop the savior complex. Let her fail. She can't succeed if she can't fail. Don't try to force success by feeding her fish for her.

Everything you have written tells me that you don't value your sister, you don't want your sister, and you definitely don't trust your sister. You need to change your attitude.

 

Yet, after 18 years with your father, what is the result?

Then don’t. But don’t blame anyone else either. The only one able to make decisions is your sister. So, your sister needs to shoulder the blame for her actions. I’ve read your blaming the aunt and the schools, but it is your sister, who in the end, is making the decisions.

This is why it is generally good to let kids fail before it gets this far. Homelessness doesn’t kill babies in the womb. It doesn’t. Yes she could get stabbed, shot, struck by lightning, etc. But she won’t die if she spends the night on the streets. And she likely won’t even have to do that. There are shelters. Winter is coming, so it is not the most pleasant time outside but she is old enough and mature enough to call when she gets cold enough.

If she is a true lunatic and won’t call anyone before she freezes to death, I would have her committed, But otherwise, I would respect her decisions by letting her feel the full weight of their consequences.

She stays with her aunt because she is able to. She doesn’t have to follow rules and she still gets a roof over her head. It seems like the Aunt is just now figuring out this is a bad deal for the Aunt. Who was smarter - your sister or your Aunt?

This goes back to what I said before. You seem to have very low opinion of your sister. You don’t think she can feed herself and take a baby to term without the baby dying? That’s harsh. And if you really feel that she is that much of a lunatic, you should have her legally committed. You can do that in all 50 states of the union and Canada.

Otherwise, I’ve seen babies survive worse situations. However, if the baby comes and she does something which is clearly dangerous to the baby and she doesn’t repent from the dangerous behavior, by all means, call CPS.

You say you love your sister, but do you realize that you haven't said one kind thing about her in your posts on the forums? Not one. I double checked. I'm not perfect so point it out if you have. In addition, you have said some vicious petty things about your sister.

Unimportant petty swipe at your sister.

Who cares. Since when did clothes on the floor kill a baby.

How many harridans say this of their husbands? Are you your sister's harridan?

She has no motivation to.

This means nothing.

This is a cacophony of pettiness. You may "love" your sister, but it doesn't seem like you like her.

Now I will point out how she is self-sufficient. She was able to obtain a doctor's appointment and pay for the removal of an IUD. By your own words, no one helped her with this. She is independent and is able to make her own decisions. They aren't the decisions you would make? Tough luck!

She doesn't have a drug problem because if she did, I'm sure you'd point that out. She doesn't have an alcohol problem or a smoking problem because once again, I'm sure you'd point that out. She's not violent and doesn't loose her temper or else I'm sure you would have pointed that out. After all, you pointed out dirty clothes on the floor. What is with that?

So, to me, she seems to be independent and capable of making her own decisions. But I get it. You don't like her decisions. That doesn't mean her baby will die. Nothing about what you have said makes me even a little worried about the baby's future.

I would not cry wolf to CPS or APS. One should wait until actual negligence or damage is actually done before calling. Calling before then is inappropriate unless she is announcing publicly the she is going to do something dangerous. If you are just now leaving college, make sure you take care of yourself first. Your sister can rise or fall without you.

 

There isn't a single Bible quote in this entire thread.

You didn't come here asking for Biblical advice or for prayers. You came here to ask about CPS.

You involved me as soon as you posted the thread and introduced your sister. That's how the internet works. If you don't want people involved in a personal problem, don't post your personal problems.

You came here and attacked your sister, the school she attends, her Aunt, etc. You came here swinging and shoveling.

Well, since you claim to know me so well, I will state that it is clear to me that you don't think your poop smells.

Like I said - not a single bible verse here. I'll introduce the first one. Luke 18:9-14

I am so tired of people blowing smoke up my. If you don't mean it, don't say it. And since you called me a Troll previously, you obviously don't mean it.