1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Need Advice Please

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by pocadots1990, Aug 1, 2010.

  1. pocadots1990

    pocadots1990 Member

    Jan 12, 2007
    Likes Received:
    I have a lady who has been attending our church for the past three months. I need to get some advice from you about this situation.

    On Good Friday, I visited this lady's husband at his house. He was diagnosed with cancer and trusted Christ that evening. On Easter Sunday, she got saved. The following month, the man died. She has been attending church faithfully since then.

    She has taken her husband's death very hard. She asked me if her husband could hear her or even talk to her. She has been at her husband's grave talking to him and wanting to hear from him in the middle of a thuderstorm.
    This lady is a young convert not knowing much about Christianity.

    How is the best way to handle this?

    I have encouraged some of the ladies at church to contact her. She does need to be discipled, but it cannot be from me because I want to be above reproach.

    Thanks for your help.
  2. annsni

    annsni Administrator

    May 30, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Can you and your wife work with her together? She definitely needs guidance.
  3. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    May 22, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Of course he can't hear her nor talk to her. He's dead. Many people misinterpret Hebrews 12:1 to mean that our deceased loved ones are looking down on us cheering us on. That's total outlandishness and complete incorrect meaning of the passage.

    But, as soon as you have this little Biblical discussion with her and tell her the truth, she will CRUMBLE. She NEEDS to hear that he can hear her. So what do you do? I think if she asks you that question again, tell her that whether he can hear her or not, Jesus Christ hears her and God hears her and that there is nothing wrong with sometimes talking to her beloved and deceased husband as if he is still here. Everyone in grief does that sometimes to some degree.

    Share this passage with her and this painting.


    Every tear that she has cried since her husband died, God knows about it and knows the content and reason in each tear.

    She needs some professional grief counseling ....... some Christian professional grief counseling.

    And she needs some counseling from the widows in the church who have been there. And THAT's Biblical.

    She needs some women in the church who have lost their husbands to guide her and to love on her.
  4. thegospelgeek

    thegospelgeek New Member

    Oct 28, 2008
    Likes Received:
    The best thing I ever learned was from a Pastor who, when asked questions like this, would answer with rteferences to verses, have the one asking the questions go home and read the verses, pray about them and come to an understanding, without commentary on the meaning of the verses.

    This allows the person to study and come to the answer with God's help. They recieve it much better than you saying, "Of course he can't hear you." Not that you would be that course, but you get the idea.
  5. John Toppass

    John Toppass Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Aug 12, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Tough situation, I agree with Annsi, but she definitely needs Christian guidance. I do not think you should lie to her it will not help and it is not being Christian. My prayers are with you and this grieving lady.