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Parent time/duties

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Gina B, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

    Dec 30, 2000
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    In another thread someone brought up that parents of very large families can't spend the needed time with their children and that it is unfair to expect other children to help with the younger children.

    I disagree.

    Here's how it works in my family:

    The parents provide:
    1. Guidance, both spiritual and otherwise.
    2. Discipline, whether in teaching them self-control and charity or discipline in terms of punishment for wrong-doing.
    3. Food.
    4. A place to live.
    5. Clothing.
    6. Education.

    Parents work to provide these things and of course we do not make ourselves physically, emotionally, or spiritually unavailable, but often "quality time" is not an hour of one on one, but may be five minutes of prayer and talking, one minute of discussing something, or spending an hour dealing with the normal occasional crisis situation such as "BUT I THOUGHT HE LOVED ME!"

    What I expect of my children:

    1. Accept the guidance
    2. Learn from the discipline.
    3. Appreciate the food with things like thanks, preparation, and/or clean-up after meals.
    4. Concern for the living place in terms of keeping it clean, safe, and decent.
    5. Don't be careless with clothes. Be grateful and keep them looking decent and if I don't wash them, don't whine. You have two hands and the machine does the majority of the work anyhow.
    6. Remember that in this country, we're privileged with free education. Take it seriously and work hard.

    Everyone contributes to the home. Too many are quick to say that it is wrong for kids to do chores or to help raise younger kids.
    I say it's part of life and growing up. I found it hilarious that the hospital insisted on showing me how to change a diaper, bathe a baby, and they even attempted to have me prove I knew how to nurse the baby. HELLO! This is stuff most should have a clue about and some discipline and learning in BEFORE marriage. Even a parent with one child can loan the child out for training in another home to learn these things.

    I just don't get why so many people find it abhorrent that everyone contributes to the household, from the oldest to the youngest. That's called life. It's what we do as humans. Childhood is a time to learn. A time to grow up. For those that disagree, what is your concept of what children should be doing, if doing "grunt work" (as one person labeled household chores in another thread) and helping raise the younger ones isn't part of growing up?
  2. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

    Oct 21, 2003
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    I agree -from the time a child is able to obey instructions we had them helping with simple chores. As they get older they contribute more and more to the household.

    We had six, and the older ones always helped with the younger. They left home knowing how to care for a child, how to change nappies, how to deal with a puker, and so much more.
  3. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    May 22, 2002
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    I taught school for a long time and saw what happens to children when parents lead them into responsibilities early and allow for them to grow into accountable people vs. what happens to them when the parents require absolutely nothing of their children and allow them to do what will when they will.

    It's imperative that children learn all kinds of responsibilities at an early age. It just makes for a better all around person. That's not to say that someone who was carried around on a feather pillow all their life can't learn to be responsible. They just usually learn it the hard way.

    I disagree, however, that older children are to basically assume the parent's role in raising the younger children and provide 100% of the work done in the household.

    By the time that an older teenager is ready to move out, he or she should have many care-taking abilities under his or her respective belt, but these young people should not be the replacement of the parental figure while in the household.
  4. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

    Mar 1, 2004
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    Gina I agree. Children need to be doing meaningful chores around the home and learn to contribute to the family so as to appreciate what they have as well as work for what they get. People who claim that parents of large familes cannot give quality time to their children are simply voicing their own guilt for not being good parents by putting down others.
    #4 freeatlast, Jan 3, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2011