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Reconciliation? Why do we have to allow it?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by superwoman8977, Jun 24, 2008.

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  1. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry <b>Moderator</b>
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    We have to allow for reconciliation because God commanded it. Eph 4 makes clear that forgiveness is commanded, just as God forgave us. As soon as God refuses to reconcile with us, then we can refuse to reconcile with our spouse or whoever has hurt us.

    Can you imagine God saying to you, "I forgive you and I love you but I can't have a relationship with you?"

    Reconciliation takes two, but I would encourage you to not be the one who prevents it.

    I would also encourage you to think long and hard about God goofing on something. That is a pretty serious charge to make.
     
    #21 Pastor Larry, Jun 24, 2008
  2. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    Of course there would be a lot of hard work and forgiveness on your part but what if God told you "I want you to take him back."? Would you listen to Him?
     
    #22 annsni, Jun 24, 2008
  3. superwoman8977

    superwoman8977 New Member

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    Not a chance. He had his chance in life, he chose to sleep with the other woman and now live with her, that destroyed everything for me. God can forgive Him, be my guest I never said I havent forgiven him because I have. If I hadnt forgiven him I would have not been so amicable during all the divorce proceedings. I would have brought up alot of things he has done but I didnt I just waited for the judge to talk and when the time came to sign the papers I signed them. I forgive him I just wont let him into my life anymore except to be my sons father. When I said those vows that day in August I was so ready to be his wife for the next 50+ years unfortunately things didnt work out that way but God has allowed me to move on with grace and in the process I am closer to the Lord than I have ever been.
     
    #23 superwoman8977, Jun 25, 2008
  4. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    To answer your question, after much prayer took place and bible reading, I can't see myself seeking reconcilliation in this matter. Yet the Lord can always reveal something different. My wife knows the most important thing to me before we married is no abuse will be allowed in our home, around children. We have one still living at home. IMHO, a married man living cheating on his wife, then shacking up with his girlfriend, or even allowing her to be seen by the kids is abuse. So no reconcilliation unless the Lord told me differently in prayer. People who do these types of things are very sick in the head. Once you realize this, it is easier to forgive them.

    If a spouse has become mentally ill, such as Schizophrenic or Bi- Polar, then it is now an illness and should be treated as such.

    You may want to suggest he see a Doc. He may need meds such as anti-depressents.

    No regret or shame etc is not the kind of foundation a sucessful reconcilliation is built on imho, but that doesn't mean you can't pray for reconcillation. And it doesn't mean that reconcilliation is not in God's plan.
    I have been praying for you, and will continue.
    Read your BIBLE, it's Gods instruction book. Pray in between the verses. Stay close with him. Allow him to reveal the answer to you. Stay away from other religious books for now, you need God to tell you directly what he wishes you to do.
     
    #24 Joe, Jun 25, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2008
  5. lbaker

    lbaker New Member

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    Super,

    I think a better way to think of it is that WE have goofed in our doctrines on divorce and remarriage, rather than God.

    But, I do remember feeling the same desparation when my 1st marriage was ending. Not much sympathy or mercy from my family in the situation and I just thought God was totally unreasonable. Took a while, like years, before I realized it was our interpretations that were unreasonable.

    That's good that you've forgiven the rat too. Doesn't mean you have to trust him or live with him again though, IMHO.

    Les
     
    #25 lbaker, Jun 25, 2008
  6. superwoman8977

    superwoman8977 New Member

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    Thank you so much for that and thank you for helping to affirm by your words what has been laid on my heart. Forgiving him was the hardest thing I had to do thus far in my 30 years on Earth, I dont agree with him living with his woman (they swear to me they are never getting married) but I know my son wants a relationship with his father so when I know its a friday night and my son is getting picked up by his dad I pray like crazy for me to be as nice as I can although I just want to smack him over and over and over again. Last Friday he brought his woman with him to pick up his son and I didnt let my anger get the better of me I just asked to speak with him for a moment and politely took him into the house and shut the door and asked that she not be with him when he picks our son up. It was a blessing to me when my child got home on Sunday and told me how much he dislikes that woman and how daddy could leave to be with her. Kids are pretty smart, they pick up on everything and I am glad he has formed his own opinions. Again thank you and I am checking out the book.
     
    #26 superwoman8977, Jun 25, 2008
  7. ReformedBaptist

    ReformedBaptist Well-Known Member

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    If you will know if you are truly walking with Jesus Christ if you are still walking with Him many years from now. True Christians persevere in holiness and rigtheousness. True Christians do not continue in sin, or fall into gross heresy such as denying the Deity of Christ, et.
     
    #27 ReformedBaptist, Jun 25, 2008
  8. pinoybaptist

    pinoybaptist Active Member
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    As far as I know superwoman8977 hasn't gone too far as deny the Deity of Christ....
    She sounds much like Martha when Lazarus died.
    Lord, had you been here.....it's like, where were you when we needed you, Lord ?
     
    #28 pinoybaptist, Jun 25, 2008
  9. ReformedBaptist

    ReformedBaptist Well-Known Member

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    Sorry if it came accross as if I were saying she is. I was just making a general statement.
     
    #29 ReformedBaptist, Jun 25, 2008
  10. superwoman8977

    superwoman8977 New Member

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    And the Lord was right where He said He would be sticking close by me as a brother. I used to be like Martha, have severe doubts the Lord even cared what all I was going through, but alot of time in the word and in prayer and in study and the doors he has shut and the new ones he has opened in the past few days have shown me that He was right there. All the hurt and pain and frustration arent totally gone (I dont think they ever will be) , but its like this season in my life has ended and nows the perfect time to move onto the next season, and the next and the next. I am going through some major stuff in my life in addition to the divorce and I could be angry at alot of things for the way things in my life have been going but I am not. God has a plan and the point of his plan like it says in Jeremiah 29:11 -- For I know the things I have planned for you...He knows what He has for me and I can grab the reins and say I dont want it or I can give him the reins and say like my favorite armywife Pamela on the Tv show Armywives says: "have at it!"
     
    #30 superwoman8977, Jun 25, 2008
  11. mparkerfd20

    mparkerfd20 Member

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    You know I was thinking and studying this weekend in Matthew 7 and realized that the people that love you the most are gonna tell you the truth. The truest sign of a false prophet is someone that tells you exactly what you want to hear. I think it's pretty evident here superwoman that people love you and are praying for your situation. I know a lot of what they are saying isn't what you want to hear, but I do believe they are being sincere in trying to reveal biblical truth to you.

    May God bless and continue to help you through this tough time.
     
    #31 mparkerfd20, Jun 25, 2008
  12. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    Because He is able to reconcile us to Him, but we cannot reconcile someone else to us if they don't want to be reconciled. My wife cheated on me all the time we were marriage--with MANY men including my sister's husband. The she finally said, "I won't change." Maybe some can live with a cheating spouse who refuses to change, but I'm not capable of it. Even God won't put up with a sinning Christian. Eventually, He will take them home--as if that's kind of punishment! :praying:
     
    #32 Jon-Marc, Jun 25, 2008
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