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Rightful Owner

Discussion in 'Other Discussions' started by Salty, Sep 22, 2020.

  1. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    From the Dear Amy coloum - today

    Dear Amy: Recently my daughter-in-law asked my wife to drive her and her two little kids to the airport (100 miles away) using our car.

    Mind you, the daughter-in-law has a brand-new $50,000 SUV, but wanted my wife to drive OUR car to the airport. This would leave me without a car to drive in case I needed it.

    The daughter-in-law didn’t offer to let me use her car while my wife was doing this favor for her. So I took off in our car the morning of the trip to go shopping and do some errands. I told my wife to drive the daughter-in-law’s car, as it is newer, safer, and with all the newest gadgets for safety for the kids, etc.

    Now the daughter-in-law and my wife are mad at me because she had to use her car to get to the airport.

    I feel she is selfish and taking advantage of my wife and our car!

    She says she didn’t want to drive her new SUV in city traffic.

    Should I have to pay for wear and tear on my car so the daughter-in-law can keep her new expensive SUV without using it?

    Nobody is listening to me, so I am looking for a third party to weigh in.

    — Rightful Owner

    Dear Owner: Well, you might want to keep looking for another opinion, because, in my opinion, what you did was really obnoxious.

    When was the last time you took two young children by yourself on a plane? (I’m guessing, never.) The morning of a trip like this is extremely stressful. Your passive-aggressive behavior really threw a spanner into the proceedings.

    Your daughter-in-law and your wife had made an arrangement that you didn’t like, and so, rather than talk to them both about it and staking your (rightful) claim to your own family’s car, you simply took it, leaving them to scramble on the morning of the trip. It seems disingenuous for you to pretend not to understand why they are mad at you now.

    I am assuming that your daughter-in-law might have been nervous about your wife driving her new, powerful, unfamiliar vehicle alone on the way back from the airport. It’s not just that designer SUVs are expensive, but a BMW and a Buick are distinctly different vehicles to operate.

    Regardless of your DIL’s reasoning, I do agree with you in a basic sense about the use of the cars.
    I completely agree with them, however, about your behavior. Badly done.

    *******

    So if "Rightful Owner came to you before the trip, how would you counsel him?

    If "rightful Owner" came to after the trip, how would you counsel him?
     
  2. church mouse guy

    church mouse guy Well-Known Member
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    Rightful owner should see the preacher, n'est-ce Pas? Where is the son? Rightful owner had to do what the women wanted in this instance absent the son. Women, you can't live with them and you can't live without them, just sayin' A man who says that he understands women will lie about anything. :Roflmao:Roflmao:Roflmao
     
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  3. Roy

    Roy <img src=/0710.gif>
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    Daughter-in-law should have asked both her in laws and if either of them objected, then come up with a different plan. Wife could have told daughter-in-law that hubby has some misgivings about the agreement and suggest using daughter-in-law's vehicle or maybe just go out and rent a car for the trip.

    I get the feeling that the kids mentioned are from a previous marriage of the daughter-in-law, because old grouch didn't call them his grand kids. Rightful owner probably has some ill feelings toward daughter-in-law. I have two daughters-in-law and will do nearly anything for them if they ever ask.

    Oh, as to your questions:
    1. Before Trip Counseling - Let daughter-in-law know that
    you need transportation for the time that your car is away.
    If the concern is legit, she should be understanding.

    2. After Trip Counseling - Apologize to wife and daughter-in-
    law. Because you pulled the rug out from under them un-
    expectedly, they had a lot of anxiety to deal with. Don't say
    "I'm sorry but....". When you throw in the word "but," it
    negates the apology. Say "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
     
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  4. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    D-I-L should have asked both mother in law and Father in law.about using Dads car.
    First (assuming this drop off and pick up at airport) - that would be 400 miles + gas - which would be about 30-50 dollars. Reason she probably didn't ask was because she now dad would say no.
    As soon as dad found out about the set up - he should have called the daughter - in-law - ASAP. It could be that things like this may have happened in the past - so dad might think this was the only recourse.

    Sounds like this family does need some good Christian family counseling.
     
  5. RighteousnessTemperance&

    RighteousnessTemperance& Well-Known Member

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    The DIL didn't have to ask both, but the wife should not have answered either way without first reaching mutual agreement with her husband. Had he been consulted, his attitude might have been entirely different.

    People generally don't like to be taken for granted; it is a sign of great disrespect. When a wife disrespects her husband, there is a serious problem. In this case, it extended to the DIL also disrespecting him.

    He didn't handle it well. Counseling is certainly in order.
     
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  6. Van

    Van Well-Known Member
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    I have never understood the attraction of soap opera. Think seagulls and "mine, mine, mine."
     
  7. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    I posted this -not as a sop opera - but rather as a true event. Pastors faced many issues, including in-laws - this allows for critical thinking and sharing ideals when a similar situation comes up.

    Remember there are usually at least three sides to every story.
     
  8. Van

    Van Well-Known Member
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    To each his own, my view is "mine, mine, mine."
     
  9. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    I agree with rightful owner. I dont take people to airport. I tell them drive yourself and leave your car in park and fly.
     
  10. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    Real life vehicle expense is about $1 a mile.
     
  11. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Not to mention the time involved
     
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  12. Roy

    Roy <img src=/0710.gif>
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    Not sure what kind of car it was that "rightful owner" has, but a trick that I used back in the old days when I wanted my car to stay put was to disconnect the coil wire. The starter will turn but the motor won't fire up.
    WIFE: "Honey, the car won't start." RIGHTFUL OWNER: "Oh I'm sorry Dear. You and D-I-L should take her car while I try and fix the problem."
     
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  13. Marooncat79

    Marooncat79 Well-Known Member
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  14. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    Now you would have to disconnect multiple coil packs. All newer cars have an inertia disconnect fuel pump shutoff reset switch somewhere. That switch can also be manually disconnected.
     
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  15. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    or just let the air out of all four tires - and blame it on the brat down the block
     
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