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Santa Claus Converts To Calvinism, Moves Everybody To Naughty List

Discussion in 'Calvinism & Arminianism Debate' started by Revmitchell, Dec 22, 2017.

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  1. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell Well-Known Member
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    NORTH POLE—After a transformative moment reading R.C. Sproul’s What Is Reformed Theology? for the first time earlier this week, legendary Christmas icon Santa Claus reportedly converted to a full-on, five-point Calvinist, and almost immediately moved every single person on the planet to the naughty list, sources confirmed Friday.


    “How can I put anyone on the nice list, when every human being is totally depraved from birth?” St. Nick was overheard saying to Mrs. Claus in his office. “No matter what filthy rags of righteousness they bring before the Lord, they are condemned already based on their sin nature.”

    The jolly gift-giving man tasked his elves with purging the entire “nice” list and moving all the names over to the naughty list all afternoon, as he lectured them about their need for a Savior who could save them completely.

    Santa Claus Converts To Calvinism, Moves Everybody To Naughty List
     
    #1 Revmitchell, Dec 22, 2017
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member
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    So Santa Claus doesn't look down through the corridors of the past year to see who is naughty or nice any more?
     
    #2 InTheLight, Dec 22, 2017
  3. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    If you apply the same logic, if Santa converted to Classical Arminianism, he would put the same names on the naughty list. Man has no ability, outside God, to do Any true good.
     
    #3 Reynolds, Dec 22, 2017
  4. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    He never did... He does put you into the Elves Book of Life. And at my house, we never feed Calvin Clause cookies and milk... he gets a beer and a bratwurst cause that’s what he really likes! :Thumbsup :D
     
    #4 Earth Wind and Fire, Dec 22, 2017
  5. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    And that’s cause somebody ate an apple they shouldn’t have.
     
    #5 Earth Wind and Fire, Dec 22, 2017
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