Should women work rather than stay home

[Glory-to-God]

I am carring this over from another thread......what are some christians views on this subject.

Living in California I see too many women working to have bigger homes and " STUFF " and sending their kids off to day care to have strangers raise them instead of who was authorized to raise them their parents.

What are some thoughts ?

 

[gb93433]

Certainly what you declare is true for many. While for others it may not be true. Try to live in San Francisco or San Jose and see what an average wage would buy. It wouldn't buy rent especially if you were a police officer, teacher or city worker.

After saying all that, then compare what you have said to Prov. 31 where the woman has servants, buys a piece of land and farms it. She is a merchant who sells her work and products. Know any women like that today who say a woman must stay home?

My mother was always home. We had a dairy farm. We learned to work. My sister owns a business and her kids worked there until they left home. Now one of them is employed by her to help her out. Eventually her daughter will probably run the business. My daughter helped me in the summers until recently in construction.

My brother has a wife who stays home, has no skills and their kids are lazy and always wanting to have fun.

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by Glory-to-God:
Living in California I see too many women working to have bigger homes and " STUFF " and sending their kids off to day care to have strangers raise them instead of who was authorized to raise them their parents.

I think it's wrong to work if it means putting kids in cay care and letting them be raised by strangers. But it is not wrong to work if the kids' needs from the parents are being met. For example, if the kids are gradeschool aged, there's nothing wrong with the parents working while the kids are in school.

Other than this, there's no scriptural "absolute". Husbands and wives need to discuss and be in agreement on the issue of working and taking care of the home.

Unfortunately, the average home price in my area is 500k, and even the average rent for a lower end apartment is approaching the 2k per month range. This means that many in the lower income bracket will been at least part of a second income just to make ends meet.

 

[Glory-to-God]

I work out of my home too. Not only through ministries but another resource for finacial gain....not because I have to but because I want to. Kind of like the women in proverbs 31.

But my husband is the sole bread winner and I have always taken care of the house and the kids and my husband.

I think Oprah said it best......she said the reason she never had any kids is she felt there was no way should could be super women.....having her career, kids and all. If she did one would be neglegeted. And she is right no women can fulfill her God given role effectively by having a FULL time job or career, family and housework and all unless one suffers. Yeah you can have lots of money and pay others to do it but there you go others are doing what God intended you to do.

Our society is suffering because too many women are in the work place and the kids suffer because of it.....comming home to empty houses and tv sets and God knows what else they are doing ?

Have to admit housing in Ca is rediculous. But I have seen God bless us....in 15 years our mortage is only $300 more than when we first got married and we have a much bigger house ( our third house ) and property. He just lead us to make wiser finacial decissions on when to sell and buy and where to do it.

God will provide....he always does.

 

[Clean1]

It is the womans job to stay home with the kids and the husbands job to work. Especially if the kids are young. Im 15 and my mom cleans houses and that is fine with me. I have no problem with the mothers working... as longs as it doesn't take them away from raising their children. I get mad when the news starts talking about stay at home dads. To me, those men are too lazy to get off their tushes to work. Im not saying that the father can't take care of the children, but not ALL the time. Daycare is not a good option. I can see if you need someone to watch after your kids once in a while but not everyday. God gave you the child and He picked you to raise him/her. I see nothing wrong with mothers working in the home. As longs as your doing what God wants you to then thats right.

 

[SaggyWoman]

If they have to use day care, I don't think they should work.

 

[Marco]

I get mad when the news starts talking about stay at home dads. To me, those men are too lazy to get off their tushes to work.

Many of these men had careers, like myself, before we did this. Secondly, if they are "lazy" than mothers staying at home doing all that work is "lazy" too by your understanding. It's a lot of work kid.

Look, in my opinion a child needs a parent home when young. If that means a dad stays home to do this than so be it. No shame. Very proud. Peace and when you start taking care of your own house one day don't forget this post.

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by Clean1:
I get mad when the news starts talking about stay at home dads. To me, those men are too lazy to get off their tushes to work.

Wow, talk about self-righteous and unbiblical presumption at its finest.

How come stay at home dads can be called "too lazy to get off their tushes to work" and stay at hom emoms aren't? I consider your comment to be completely uncalled for, inapproprate, and contrary to the Christian attitude.

 

[mcdirector]

I stayed at home until my kids went to middle school. I went to college when they were in Elementary school, and I did contract writing. When they were in MS, I went to work at the school they went to.

When I went to work I was really ready to work. I'd done every craft and served on every committee. Working has been quite fulfilling in many ways.

 

[mcdirector]

Oh, and thank you Johnv and Marco. You said what I was thinking.

 

[menageriekeeper]

Well let me throw in my two cents.

I don't care if it is a man or a woman, you can't pay ONE person enough to do everything I do at home during the day. If you are a stay at home, there is no laziness to it, you are going to work.(unless of course you are completely slovenly and trashy and neither men nor women have the corner on that)

Just because technology has allowed men to do things that women have traditionally done, doesn't mean the men are lazy! In the past women stayed home with the very young because of necessity(men don't have the physical attributes to feed a baby).

That Proverbs 31 woman everyone holds up as perfect---she had maids to help with the cleaning, cooking and children. She wasn't doing it all by herself. This is a very different lifestyle from what most stay at home moms/dads have now. I for one am cook, housekeeper, laundress, nurse, plumber, carpenter, landscaper, child care specialist, pet care consultant, part time mechanic, pool girl and a host of other titles I could add to my job description. Those are all before I add in the paying jobs of dressmaker and substitute teacher.(and those I have done because we needed the income, not cause I wanted to)

Oh and most of these things come natural because I am a woman and all the 'girl' stuff is somewhat instinctive. It takes a brave man to attempt to stay at home and do that which doesn't come natural.

All this bickering about who should stay home and who should work is complete nonsense. You do what is best for your own family. Husband and wife get to make these decisions together for themselves. The rest of us have no business interfering.

 

[bapmom]

I agree with what Glory-to-God said.

The Proverbs 31 woman worked, but there is no indication that she worked outside the home in such a way that she had to have someone else raise her kids for her. Much of the work she is described as doing is the type of thing that would be called for from many housewives.....making her own children's clothes, or making sure that they had quality clothing, making sure they had proper food, uplifting her husband in the town, etc. Theres really only a couple verses that refer to the other, and it seems she bought and sold land. This could really even be saying that she had a large hand in the family's financial dealings....not necessarily that she had her own, separate business.
Either way, there are now many opportunities for ladies to work from the home. I think most of the objection comes in when the lady is following a full-time career type job and in the process is allowing someone else to raise her children.

 

[Marco]

I'd like to clarify that my wife works for the Military. She goes to different countries, on tours etc...

Now, what is a guy to do? I have taken care of my kids 24/7 over many weeks if not a month at a time.

Things are not always black and white. I have faith in Jesus Christ and that's good enough for me. I don't need the extra stress.

Yes, I think having a mom being home is great. You know why, so I can get the heck out of the house - kids drive me nuts sometimes. "Work" does not scare me and to tell you the honest truth, I think all men should try this just for a weekend because you'll have a new appreciation. I am working. Work work and more work. I'm providing for my kids, you bet I am.

I feel better now.

 

[Glory-to-God]

Oh man....don't even get me started with women in the military !

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by Glory-to-God:
Oh man....don't even get me started with women in the military !

Don't even get me started with Deborah in the book of Judges.

I'm not a big fan of women in combat, but there's no scriptural ban on them, which means my view is strictly one of fallible personal preference.

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by bapmom:
The Proverbs 31 woman worked, but there is no indication that she worked outside the home in such a way that she had to have someone else raise her kids for her.

That's a nonissue to this topic, since no one here is advocating parents leaving the care of their children to other people.

 

[Marco]

My wife is not in a combat situation nor can she be because of her trade. So, all is well.

Glory-to-god...what's wrong with a wife in the military? LOL I don't want to know.

 

[bapmom]

well to me that is the deciding part of the question, Johnv.

IF a woman can work outside her home and NOT have someone else raise them (ie daycare) than I say fine. Go get a job. When all of my children are in school you may see me out there working during the school day!

I was just trying to point out that it IS a lady's duty to be sure her children are cared for first.....thats all.

Im sorry I didn't make it more clear in my first post. I really don't see that much of a problem with what Marco is doing, especially how he has described his own situation.

 

[donnA]

I think a woman should work if it means providing food or help pay bils becasue her husband doesn't make enough for the basics in life. But not for stuff, and stuff includes owning a house and two cars.
I really do not like day care, strangers raising your children, you never know for sure whats being taught, or done. And your child is spending more time with strangers then with family. If a mother needs to work I would hope a family member could be available to babysit.
The only people who ever kept our children were our mothers. The only work I ever did was stripping tobacco in winter for christmas money. we didn't have anything then and we don't have anything now. But my children had their mothers attention full time.

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by bapmom:
IF a woman can work outside her home and NOT have someone else raise them (ie daycare) than I say fine. Go get a job. When all of my children are in school you may see me out there working during the school day!

I completely agree.

I was just trying to point out that it IS a lady's duty to be sure her children are cared for first.....thats all.

It is the duty of BOTH THE MOTHER AND FATHER to make sure the children are cared for first and formost. I think that the mothers have the biblical privilege of how that is implimented, but it does not absolve the fathers of that responsibility.

I really don't see that much of a problem with what Marco is doing, especially how he has described his own situation.

Same here.