What is "sin"

Jon, it depends on the context. Theologically sin is defined as "to act contrary to the will and law of God—‘to sin, to engage in wrongdoing, sin."1 and "Thoughts, words, or deeds that constitute a deliberated violation God's will and law and are thus sinful."2 Ultimately, all sin is against God, because we are violating the command to "be Holy as I am holy". But sin can also be specific against an individual (Matthew 18:15). If a sin is committed against God, but not another person, the person who sinned needs to confess that sin to God alone. If a sin is committed against another person, it has to be confessed to that person as well as God. As in all cases of sin, genuine repentance, and where possible, restitution by the person who committed the sin should be present.

1. Louw-Nida
2. McKim

 

When our Lord said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing", He was speaking out of His deep love for the Jews. Remember Jesus' great lament for the city of Jerusalem? " “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling." (Matthew 23:37). However, if those he lamented over did not repent of their sins, they were not judicially forgiven.

While forgiving without being asked for forgiveness by an offending party is a good thing, for forgiveness to go full circle it should be accompanied by the offending party confessing and asking for forgiveness. That is a biblical mandate as well (Matthew 5:23-24).

 

It is always difficult to talk about a situation you have been personally involved with. When you look at the situation forensically, you may be able to see how it started and how both parties may have jumped to conclusions. You are also able to see where you should have taken a left instead of taking a right. But putting the horse back in the barn is easier said than done.

I have been in a similar situation. I was completely convinced I had not sinned against a brother and that the brother had overreacted to an innocent comment. However, the brother was completely convinced I had sinned against him. My choices were to lie by confessing the sin that did not occur and asking forgiveness; express my sorrow over the situation, yet hold to my integrity by not asking forgiveness; involve a trusted mediator. Both of us had a mutual friend who was willing to be that trusted mediator. The friend heard both sides. He empathized with both of us. Because there was no way to verify the facts (there were no witnesses), he asked if we would both be willing to display Christian charity by allowing ourselves to be wronged (if indeed, we were wronged). Both of us accepted that. Unfortunately, while that brother and I never became enemies, our once close friendship cooled.

What if there is no trusted mediator and you and the other brother are completely convinced you are right? In a situation, like you are describing, the best thing you can do is consider the other brother's view, assure him that you acted in the integrity of your heart, and let it be. If that means you can no longer have a dialogue with that brother, so be it. All of us have to answer to God. We have to look at the integrity of our own hearts. If we have sinned against our brother, we should confess it and ask for forgiveness. If we have not sinned we should do all we can to seek peace with our brother. If our best is not enough, then it must be left with God.

 

Anything against the will of God as expressed in the Bible!