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When You Stop Caring.....

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by ShotGunWillie, Oct 14, 2010.

  1. ShotGunWillie

    ShotGunWillie New Member

    May 31, 2007
    What happens when you stop caring, about everything. Joy, Happiness, just distant memories. Good times aren't right around the corner and you know it, things could be worse, but you don't care, because worse would be more of the same.

    What happens when your so mentally distant from your surroundings that you can no longer be present even though you are right there.

    What happens when you were once able to get lost in your work, your hobbies, your loves in life, but now the only thing that you can find is to write down what you are thinking. You could try to explain it to someone verbally but you can't put it into words. The only words you can use to describe what is running through your head are drowning, buried, dying inside, or darkness.

    I am not happy and haven't been is quite some time. I disappear when I am right there. My heart is in nothing. I feel distant from my wife, my friends, my family, and my Lord. I feel alone no matter the setting.

    I am not visibly down, if you saw me today, you wouldn't see much difference in me. But on the inside, its dark.......
  2. HAMel

    HAMel Well-Known Member

    Nov 15, 2009
    I've been there. It's been a long while but I've been there.

    Obviously there had to be something to begin with or one wouldn't realize it was gone. Like some man, or woman saying, "I used to love him/her but it's just not there anymore." Hog wash! If it was "truly" there in the beginning there is still some left today.

    How I brought myself out was through some serious discussions with my Lord. Yes, discussions coupled with prayer and spending time alone with Him pondering all things associated.

    After a while I was able to "feel" my need to return. I took His suggestion(s) and recommendation(s) and returned. It all boiled down to the fact that "I" had drifted away. Wasn't His doing at all. It was me all along.

    I certainly wouldn't run to the nearest doctor seeking a diagnosis of depression but it could be a result of growing older. We all change. First though, discuss it with your Lord. He's waiting for you.

    Isa 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD.
  3. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills Active Member

    Oct 3, 2010
    Been there myself too to some degree - Psalm 77 is a passage that helped me.
  4. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

    Mar 1, 2004
    Just based on what you wrote I would say that a discussion board is not where you need to be hanging out. In my opinion you really need to seek out some counseling from someone who is qualified and is a Christian. I personally will lift you in prayer, but you also need to do your part and seek qualified help. God bless :praying:
  5. nodak

    nodak Active Member

    Feb 9, 2008
    First thing you do is don't panic.

    Second thing is get a really thorough physical complete with blood work.

    Also bag up all meds and supplements you use and talk to BOTH your doctor and your pharmacist about them. Even sleuth a little yourself online and see if any list depression as a side effect.

    What you are describing sounds like clinical depression. BTDT.

    Learned there are some meds I just absolutely need to not take.

    Learned there are some hormonal issues that can do it. For women, too much or too little estrogen or progesterone. For men, too little testosterone. For both, too little and sometimes too much thyroid and/or parathyroid hormones can do it too.

    I learned that stuff the hard way--jumped to an anti depressant at a nurse practicioner's say so. WRONG. Needed to drop one med, take b12, increase calcium and vitamin d, and take fish oil.

    Happy as a lark without any hassle when I am physically healthy.

    And sometimes it can be simple anemia, low b12, or even low vitamin d.

    Don't try dosing on this or that--see your doc and get a top to toe exam and insist on bloodwork before trying an antidepressant.

    If you get a clean bill of health, see a psychiatrist. Depression happens for all sorts of reasons, and so many are not triggered by spiritual or emotional factors.

    For me, low b12, low d, and testing parathyroid next month.

    For son in law it was just low thyroid.

    For my mom, it was the change to a different lung med that triggered it. Stop the med, stop the depression.

    But the first step is rule out a physical cause. Then address brain chemicals. And then if those don't help, talk therapy and spiritual counsel.
    #5 nodak, Oct 14, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2010
  6. Aaron

    Aaron Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    My advice is:

    1) Get to work. A good hard physical workout is good medicine. (I don't mean with weights, I mean productive work like yard work or home improvement.)

    2) Seek the company of happy believers, and speak in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.

    3) Pray.
  7. moral necessity

    Apr 21, 2008
    I have some relevant thoughts from Luther that I'll try to summarize here for you about the subject. There is a sense in which we grow tired and weary of the things of this life, and long for a better place. However, there is also a very purposeful attack from our enemy to increase such a proper longing into an overwhelming despair. These sorts of attacks from our adversary can be calmed by the grace of God. Remember that the Lord is your friend and that he is sovereign over this exercising of your faith. While it seems that you are in the ocean alone, remember that the ocean is in his hand, and that he is the one who stills the waves and calms the winds. Acknowledge your feelings to Him in conversation. Speak your heart out to him plainly. Ask for his grace to give you a healthy perspective each day about things. And, reflect upon the wonders of his hand in your life, in what good things he has surrounded you with. He is the giver of all such pleasures for your enjoyment, whether it be a person in your life who has committed to walk through it with you, or a table to eat bread at, or a yard from which to enjoy the rays from the sun and the sound of the birds. Perhaps think on one thing tomorrow that he has allowed you to have in your life that is good, and reflect upon it in a quiet setting, recall the happiness that it brought you at first, and dwell upon that experience until it brings some little smile of thankfulness, and let that gradually rise up in words to the Father's ears. Remember that blessing in your life throughout your day. And, pick a new one tomorrow. Also, surround yourself with the pleasures of life that he gives for you, and partake of them a little more. Eat a little more of what you like, drink a little more, spend more time in travel or games or amusements. And whatever enjoyment God allows you to feel the smallest taste of, trace that enjoyment back to him, the giver of it. The enjoyment of the sun's rays ought to make us look back through them to their source in the sun itself, and so the enjoyments of this life, whatever they may be, ought to direct our thoughts back to him, the source and fountain of all good.

    One of the best things you could soak your mind in, besides scripture, would be a few hymns from this little hymn book that I've linked here. At this link, click on Gadsby's Hymn Book, and download the collection to your desktop. The wealth of comfort they will bring will be remembered by you years from now.


    Blessings and prayers!
    #7 moral necessity, Oct 14, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2010
  8. Crucified in Christ

    Crucified in Christ New Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    What I am saying, I say out of love and concern, but I feel that it must be said. The only time I experienced anything like what you are describing in the time since giving my life to Christ, it was due to unconfessed sin that I allowed to take a foothold in my life. It made me miserable and the more that I turned to it, the more distant I felt from the Lord. This is truly a downward spiral. I believe that this is what the Scriptures warn us about in hearing the voice of the Spirit and hardening our hearts. I needed the loving warning of the Holy Spirit to tell me that I was on the wrong path. The only way of escape was turning fully to the Lord and turning my back on the things which were leading me astray. Since the Lord called me to ministry, I have realized how many people struggle in this way- private sins that steal their joy and break their lives.

    The first thing I would ask of you is to be honest with yourself. Do you have sin that has taken up a stronghold in your life? Is it a private sin? Do you think that you are getting away with it? If so, from what I have seen, this could be the source of your misery. So many people struggle with Alcohol, drugs, pornography, extra-marital affairs and never get caught, yet they are paying for it every day of their lives.

    If you know the Lord, then He may be chastening you for not holding fast to your relationship with Him. If so, confess the sin, repent of it and follow the Lord more closely.

    Of course, I could be way off the mark, but I felt that I should respond just in case you are struggling in this way. You are in my prayers.