Which Church would you join Church A or Church B

Anytime I hear the word "submission" used in this manner, I always have to take a second look to be sure its being used in the proper manner. So don't get offended by what I'm about to say until I'm done. (manner meaning in conjuction with a skirts only, KVJO church)

You need to sit your wife down and have a serious discussion about why she is drawn strongly to church B. What about church B (with its standoffish people) says "this is a better place to be" to your wife? You both need to make sure that she doesn't have some idea that a church which profers rules to live by is somehow a more holy church or somehow God is more pleased with Christians who live with a strong set of (arbitrary) standards than those who are not.

Standards are fine, don't get me wrong. But scripture ALWAYS trumps the standards of men. If skirt wearing is derived from a desire to look feminine and modest as possible, then that is fine. But if women wearing pants is put up to be a standard to judge the spirituality of others, then it is NOT fine! It's also not fine for her to think that "obeying the rules" somehow has an effect on her salvation or worse, that "obeying the rules" is her salvation. (that the blood of Christ was insuffecient and she must work to maintain her salvation)

Same with the whole KJVO thing. I'm KJV perferred myself, for the simple reason that when I was a child, we didn't have access to all these new translations and all my memory work was done in a KJV. But I also enjoy reading and comparing with other translations and I don't believe the men who translated the KJV were any more "inspired" by God than any other translator. (I was taught this to be true as a child though)

The whole "submission" issue is another point which is sometimes taken to an extreme. Does your wife realize that the other side of "wives submit to your husbands" is "husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church"?

The spirit of submission is not for a wife to make herself unhappy so you can be happy and I doubt that you would be happy if she were not! You two have to work together to make the decision that allows you both to attend the church that best suits your need to grow in the Lord.

Its a proper excercise of your spiritual leadership to be certain your wife isn't "obeying the rules" with a wrong idea of why she should. It is not a proper exercise of your spiritual leadership to make arbitrary decisions about where to go to church (or for that matter, anything else!) Its also not fair to you that she burden you with the final decision. It is possible for you two to find a church you BOTH agree on! And that is the end result that you both should be looking toward, even if that means visiting other churches and/or denominations.

 

If you have been in prayer, then you are on the right track. Question: what if the pastor of Church B left/died/retired....would your wife want to still belong there?

 

So there you go: the main factor in your mind is the preaching/preacher. Now if you could just get Preacher B to go to Church A, you'd be alright. But that isn't going to happen....


DeaconPhil, I think God will use you and your wife wherever you go.

 

For me this is key in chosing a church. If there is too much reliance on the Pastor I am nervous, and history says the things drawing many to that church will eventually change and so will the membership.

 

Only the one God leads me to join...

You question presupposes that I have a choice in the matter. It also lends itself to the notion that I "choose" a church based on the amenities it offers, sort of like buying a car.

Could it be possible that God might lead us to a faith family that is sorely lacking in a particular area that He wants me to bolster and strengthen. As a pastor, I am always grateful for the folks who join where I serve saying, "God is leading me here. This is what I bring to the table... what can I do."

Pray pray pray...

 

Are there no other churches you can consider in the area?

About the pastor of church A, how long has he been there?

I've been at my church for around 11 years. In that length of time we have gone through 3 pastors, a complete change in staff and are on our 4th senior pastor at the moment (he's the one that got stuck brining in a whole new staff after the church voted to let the others go on to new opportunities).

The congregation however, is practically the same. By that I mean, that though new members come and old members move on the spirit of the church has remained the same. I'm as comfortable in my church today as I was when I joined and that's something to look for when considering a church.

 

My best advice is pray for guidence......My rule of thumb is if the preacher isn't preaching the gospel of the son of man then they an't preaching.....

 

I would choose church A but occasionally visit B and see if the pastor of B would host a small group at his house.

 

You know, at our church we send volunteers to the associational meetings. Church Admin tell the congregation (usually on a Wed night) how many representatives need to go and a show of hands later we have our representatives. I've had a couple of chances to go, but haven't been able to fit it into my schedule.

So if you want to keep the Association accountable, make room in your schedule to go represent your church.

Since church A's pastor is relatively new, it may be that he has judged the maturity of the overall congregation to be lacking in some respects and is laying the foundation for more meatier subjects to come. It takes our church about 18 months or so to get used to a new man and he to us(which is the harder task, cause we are a hard church to pastor!).