Featured Wisdom in church differences with the Fundamentalists

Must be nice to be so informed about hundreds of thousands of people and hundreds of church to be able to call an entire movement "weaker brethren" and guilty of stupiding up the church.

 

Wow, just wow. This is not a wise move on your part for a number of reasons. Like it or not, APPEARANCES COUNT.

I refuse to counsel a couple for marriage if they are living in the same household. And I also refuse to marry a couple without counseling.

Call me whatever you want, but 35 years of ministry experience has shown me that when a young couple lives together (separate rooms, etc. notwithstanding) the future of the marriage is tenuous at best.

I do wish you the best, but you should give serious consideration to living separately.

 

"Is not winning"? This is some kind of contest or battle? This is your marriage we're talking about; you'd rather make sure he doesn't win than whatever it takes to make sure your spouse is happy? Remember the story of Jacob? Didn't he work for seven years to obtain his bride (in effect, allowing her father to "control" him); only to be deceived; but still submitted for another period of time because he truly loved her?

What are you willing to put up with because you love your fiance like Christ loves the church?

"If" that's his motive? You're not even sure that he's trying to control you? But your fiance may be put at odds with the church she's been attending for a while because you *think* he might be trying to control you?

 

Not every single Crete was a liar and a slow belly, but Paul did not hesitate to say, "One of their own kind has said, 'All Cretans are liars and slow bellies,'- this statement is true."

When all parties involved in a conversation are thoughtful, intelligent people there is no need for endless qualifications (now I don't mean everybody, etc...) because thoughtful people already KNOW that you don't mean everybody. Thoughtful people know general statements are to be taken generally and thoughtful people recognize a patently obvious general statement when it is made.

I think it is unspeakably obvious that my statement about fundamentalists was a general statement. WHN EARTH thinks that every single person in any large group displays the exact same characteristics across the board??

 

I guess I'm just not very thoughtful. I read what you wrote and thought you meant it.

 

The "problem" is exactly as I wrote: you have little regard for others, including your future wife.

What are you willing to sacrifice for your wife and your marriage?

 

It honestly sounds like you are judging a situation without any personal knowledge. The man said that he has ensured accountability from others in the house & sought approval/denial from church leaders. When my wife & I were dating, in our late 20's, she & her young daughter were renting a room from her parents. She lived in another state. So, once we were engaged, I moved in with her parents for three months. She also lived in the house while we searched for a home. Once the home was found, she moved into it until we were married. At which time I joined her. I cannot recall a single person openly judging us or questioning the "appearance" of the situation. Perhaps you should quit looking for areas of condemnation & take the man at his word that the situation is as pure as he has stated? Unless you have evidence that he is lying, I would suggest you holster your judgement.

Where, precisely, did the man say that he has little regard for his future wife?

 

Just like him, you miss the point completely.

I have no doubt that he and his bride are above reproach -- except from those he's already described as "controlling fundamentalists." This is the church that she's been a member of, according to his prior posts; these are the people that have been her church family for a while. So her church friends, her church family, are looking at the situation that she's now in; and whether we like it or not, whether it's right or not, are making judgments about her, not just him. And if they're the "controlling fundamentalists" he says they are -- and being an IFB myself, and having experience with the different camps of IFBers in different parts of the country, I wouldn't be surprised if they're exactly as he describes -- the judgments they're making are not nice or kind.

Re-look at what he wrote; it was all about him and his suspicion that the pastor might be trying to control him, and his--his--unwillingness to be controlled. Where did he write about the concern for his wife in this situation?

 

Do you use the same interpretive skills to conclude that Paul meant that every single Crete on earth was a liar and a slow belly????

 

http://www.baptistboard.com/showthread.php?t=87638

Some never cease to amaze me. In gentleness I challenge the use of profanity that someone whom claims Christ often makes on Facebook. So he rewards me by unfriending me. One word for this kind of behavior INSECURITY. I do not generally unfriend someone because they challenge me,...

Ironic...

 

Congrats on the job!

Not one response to anything I wrote? Look, you may not like what I write; but my goal is to give you a different perspective, get you to think about things from a different point of view. You'll notice that I didn't say you were wrong; just pointing out that the way you described the situation, you never mentioned how your fiancee feels about how things are going.

 

God bless you, Luke.