Featured Separation in marriage

in the context I do think that it means divorce, but I still don't know why this Pastor is recommending a separation.

I fail to see how separation would help.

Marriage is a picture of our relationship with Christ, and certainly it isn't good for us to separate from him!

 

1st...tell him to run away from that pastor.

 

Tell him to find a real marriage counselor.

 

I have a cousin "Jacob" him attends a church....

 

Have to agree with EWF and G2C, in that order; for the reason Jordan gave (marriage is a picture).

Consider this: there is NEVER only one "guilty" party in human relationships. You say that she has no reason; baloney. And that's where the marriage counselor comes in, to help both of them admit their part in what's happening.

What would I would tell your cousin? If he really loves his wife, and wants to exemplify Christ's love for the church, then he needs to put her after his personal walk with God, and before their children, his job (including his ministry, because that's not his personal walk; that's his "job"), and himself. He needs to love her more than himself, and sacrifice *everything* for her, just as Christ sacrificed it all for us.

And if he wants to make excuses or give reasons about why he can't, then maybe it's better that they do separate, because they can't exemplify Christ and the church if they *won't* exemplify Christ and the church. But as the head of the wife, *HE* has to make it happen.

Tell him to pray.

 

The Bible teaches to us that they Husband and Wife can choose freely not to come together in sexual relations, but that would be when both agreed to have it as a time unto the Lord, and would also see that seperation can be helpful only if BOTH parties are still commited to working it out and to be se in the end staying together, but just think most of the time it is really final stage before divorce!

 

It could be IF both parties are interested in using that period to really address and work on their issues...

 

Are "Jacob" and his Wife members/regular attenders of the same church?

 

Regardless of what's going on behind the scenes, without a significant, biblical reason to create separation (such as abuse or ongoing sexual wrongdoing) then no pastor should be counseling a couple to separate.

The goal would be to continue sharing space, maybe sleeping in different rooms, and having honest conversations along with some assistance from a relationship professional.

This pastor has already proven (so much as we know from the OP) that he is not a helpful counselor. I'd recommend, for your friend, to seek outside, professional assistance.

 

Good advice.

 

Mrs. Rolf and I have never been divorced, but we have known enough people who have been to know that it is a rare thing that one spouse is completely innocent.