I think it largely depends on the situation. As a member of the military we were covered by a SOFA (status of forces agreement) that outlined jurisdictions etc concerning what we were allowed to do and what happened when we screwed up. I was a pretty heavy drinker then but I never got into any real trouble.
Can someone tell me what the big deal is about drinking? I had been around wine for many years growing up. My parents were grape growers and there were grapes all around us. Many of my friends were in the same situation. Wine was always in our home. Some people we knew made wine. We seldom ever drank any. None of us really liked it all that much. None of us kids drink today and yet our parents never taught against it. It was there and if we asked we would be given some. It was no big deal. As we got older the curiosity wore off and the less we cared for any. We got to the point where it was just there in a bottle. It was like looking at a picture. When the amount we had would get larger my dad would pull it out for company and then after they left it would just sit.
Like so many things the mystery of it all can be overwhelming. In your house it seems the mystery, the taboo, did not exist so the alcohol itself never became a real issue. I do the same thing with my kids and tools (including firearms). They are there, in their proper place. My boys know where they are. They know how to properly handle them and there is no mystery.
Amen fella's.... there was never a taboo or a mystery about any of this stuff growing up. However I did see a TV show about the Amish kids being allowed a time to do what ever they want starting at ...I want to say 16 years & they absolutely go blotto with drugs & alcohol. You can vilify alcohol, you can vilify coffee & tea for that matter...but whats that you going to do, make it taboo till the kids get an open opportunity to try it....then watch what happens.
I think I saw that same show. I gathered that it was part of their culture. It seems that if we set up taboos as though they are scripture and our children read the Bible and find something different we will have some explaining to do. If they find out we are wrong then they will question what we say later.
If we set up so many rules that our children do not have to think then how do we train them to seek God and pray. Seems to me that we need to allow people to wrestle with God in the things that are just preferences and not principles from scripture.
Recently I read something that our job as parents is not to be the example for our children but Jesus is and we are to point them to Him. We are to be looking to Jesus and teaching them to do the same thing.
That is how most of Europe is. If you are offered something it is impolite to turn it down. I have enjoyed some wonderful pastries and other dishes. I have also learned to enjoy some rather gritty and dark Turkish coffee.
At least, that's how it was when I left in 2001. I cannot imagine it changed any.