I was more along the lines of a self-righteous pharisee who was resting on his own goodness and Baptist upbringing for my salvation.
I was in a sorry state indeed.
hmmm, sounds like you were more acquainted with God than most. It sounds to me that something caused you to even become as one of those Pharasee type and that led to the real thing.
I was a wild young man who lived in the bars of Michigan for years. I never once in all those years saw someone jump up and say "I am saved". They couldn't of keep it silent if it happened and they certainly would not of been ashamed of it, so I take it that some may have come under conviction and left the bar but none ever confessed Jesus before the world in those bars.
There are suppositons and there is the real world.
You sound like were trying to worship God on your own?
At this time did you love the devil or God?
Were you in trouble over being in sin?
Were you in all honesty seeking God?
This is a statement I have heard almost all Christians make, "Lord if it is you will that I die, let it be so, but save my dying soul".
Did you make that commentment to God?
No I didn't. I was worshipping my righteousness. I was lost at that time.
I was a totally depraved slave of the devil. There was no fear of God in my eyes. I was lost.
All lost people are.
None of the lost seek God until God regenerates them.
I did make that commitment to God...but it was not because there was any good in me. It was all because of God's regenerating power which convicted me of sin and brought me to him. I had no righteousness. I was totally wicked in the eyes of God. But, praise the Lord, he saved me from my Sinful free will and gave me new life in Christ.
That is a good committment to make to God Joseph. I made the same committment but I didn't feel saved at the time I made it. I am glad to hear you made it for that is from the heart and another Christian knows that is real. God Bless and I won't bother you any futher about it.