Father of a two year old slaps her because she ate his Pringles. 
http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2010/04/father_arrested_for_abuse_afte.html
http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2010/04/father_arrested_for_abuse_afte.html
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Father slaps his daughter over Pringles
- Thread starter Cutter
- Start date
To slap a child in the face hard enough to leave an abrasion and a hand print is disgusting. To discipline your child because they are disobeying is not. It's not the Pringles - it's what was going on besides that which makes the difference. This was certainly over the top but I'm sure they would have been just as outraged by a parent slapping a child's hand because they continually went to take a chip when they were told not to.
windcatcher
New Member
Sorry, but I can't see how disciplining a 2 y/o hungry child for eating food within her reach is justified. Either remove the food out of reach or feed the child. Some excuses for 'child training' are not justified if one considers the needs of the child, the attention span and the ability of the child to understand.
For example:
Lets say the goal is for the parent to teach the child to obey commands or rules of authority: Can one say that this is true in EVERY INSTANCE where a person ....parent or other authority .....gives a command?
[Some 'here' might think 'yes'. But ....consider the rare but true instances where advantage has been taken because a child trusted or was taught to obey without questioning. Now, has 'your' answer changed regarding the question? If so..... what have you learned? TRUST and SAFETY (or the child's welfare) are more important than (blind) obedience to the authority.]
Now then, is there a prerequisite goal for a parent to keep in mind before determining the discipline of the child? Yes.....
IN EVERY CASE, consider the level of TRUST is maintained, and LOVE is preserved before and in every act of discipline.
[This does not negate the use of 'pain' such as corporal punishment.... when that is necessary and the child doesn't respond to lessor means of direction..... but care should be taken to communicate the purpose and to preserve the dignity of the child. A frontal assault to the body or the face, can be destructive to the feelings of worth in the child.... as can verbal abuse which uses names, or curses the child and communicates only anger or hatred, or devalues their worth. ......In that instance, one has actually distracted the child from receiving the correct and intended instruction and has instead left the child with a different recollection of memory regarding relationship of authority, questions of self-worth or respect, loss of control in role models, and unjust power.]
This parent at 22 y/o is old enough to be responsible for mature behavior even if he is incapable.... and, at least in this instance .......he is incapable and selfish. He is not teaching trust..... he's teaching fear. He is not exhibiting other controls available to him.... like putting the food away ....or sharing with the child.... so he's unrealistic in his expectations and demands. And his response to this instance of disobedience is excessive compared to the offense, and therefore unjust. He doesn't respond.....he reacts. He is not rational and in control...... he is emotional and self serving. (Not to mention his reactionary physical abusiveness.)
________________________________
Spiritual considerations and practical applications:
The Bible teaches responsible parenting:
Trust and correction: The parent is responsible for recognizing the levels of dependency and providing for the needs, safety and protection of the child appropriate to the level of ability and understanding in the child. The parent is not to provoke the child to anger. Maintains relationship and affirms with recognition, during good behavior: Is consistent and non-hesitant in correction. Recognizes his authority comes from God.... and his ultimate responsibility is to God in the charge of his child. [Communicates expectations and instructions, and makes consequences clear and determines understanding. Is realistic for stages of development. Establishes foundation in relationship before building from the simple to the complex.... as child matures. Does not create unjust or 'no-win' situations where the only choices available is failure. Offers forgiveness and restoration. Deals with the present opportunity.]
For example:
Lets say the goal is for the parent to teach the child to obey commands or rules of authority: Can one say that this is true in EVERY INSTANCE where a person ....parent or other authority .....gives a command?
[Some 'here' might think 'yes'. But ....consider the rare but true instances where advantage has been taken because a child trusted or was taught to obey without questioning. Now, has 'your' answer changed regarding the question? If so..... what have you learned? TRUST and SAFETY (or the child's welfare) are more important than (blind) obedience to the authority.]
Now then, is there a prerequisite goal for a parent to keep in mind before determining the discipline of the child? Yes.....
IN EVERY CASE, consider the level of TRUST is maintained, and LOVE is preserved before and in every act of discipline.
[This does not negate the use of 'pain' such as corporal punishment.... when that is necessary and the child doesn't respond to lessor means of direction..... but care should be taken to communicate the purpose and to preserve the dignity of the child. A frontal assault to the body or the face, can be destructive to the feelings of worth in the child.... as can verbal abuse which uses names, or curses the child and communicates only anger or hatred, or devalues their worth. ......In that instance, one has actually distracted the child from receiving the correct and intended instruction and has instead left the child with a different recollection of memory regarding relationship of authority, questions of self-worth or respect, loss of control in role models, and unjust power.]
This parent at 22 y/o is old enough to be responsible for mature behavior even if he is incapable.... and, at least in this instance .......he is incapable and selfish. He is not teaching trust..... he's teaching fear. He is not exhibiting other controls available to him.... like putting the food away ....or sharing with the child.... so he's unrealistic in his expectations and demands. And his response to this instance of disobedience is excessive compared to the offense, and therefore unjust. He doesn't respond.....he reacts. He is not rational and in control...... he is emotional and self serving. (Not to mention his reactionary physical abusiveness.)
________________________________
Spiritual considerations and practical applications:
The Bible teaches responsible parenting:
Trust and correction: The parent is responsible for recognizing the levels of dependency and providing for the needs, safety and protection of the child appropriate to the level of ability and understanding in the child. The parent is not to provoke the child to anger. Maintains relationship and affirms with recognition, during good behavior: Is consistent and non-hesitant in correction. Recognizes his authority comes from God.... and his ultimate responsibility is to God in the charge of his child. [Communicates expectations and instructions, and makes consequences clear and determines understanding. Is realistic for stages of development. Establishes foundation in relationship before building from the simple to the complex.... as child matures. Does not create unjust or 'no-win' situations where the only choices available is failure. Offers forgiveness and restoration. Deals with the present opportunity.]
windcatcher
New Member
Before the child knows God.....
The first 'god' the child knows is in the authority and providence of his parents.
What an awesome task for Christian parents to recognize they are the first role model for a child's spiritual development.
The first 'god' the child knows is in the authority and providence of his parents.
What an awesome task for Christian parents to recognize they are the first role model for a child's spiritual development.
Windcatcher - We don't know the circumstances and exactly what happened but I can certainly see disciplining a child for doing something that you have told them not to. Let's say that I'm having guests over and have put food on the table and the child keeps reaching for food before they have eaten dinner and I continually tell them "No". I will absolutely discipline them for taking food that they should not - even if they are hungry. I have something better for them and what they are doing is disobeying and not healthy for them. Instead I will get them to obey me (not reach for the food) and show them that dinner is about to be ready - would they like a carrot stick or a piece of cheese before they eat? But then they go back to the chips. Is it wrong to spank them in this case??
Now I'm certainly not saying a smack across the face is the right response and I'd say that was absolutely child abuse but a smack on the back of the hand or on the tush is not, IMO. This was a clear case of abuse but I don't think it is abusive for not allowing a child to eat Pringles when they feel like it.
Now I'm certainly not saying a smack across the face is the right response and I'd say that was absolutely child abuse but a smack on the back of the hand or on the tush is not, IMO. This was a clear case of abuse but I don't think it is abusive for not allowing a child to eat Pringles when they feel like it.
I have to agree here.
Putting a 24-month-old child in the hospital because she ate some of your barbeque Pringles is insane.
There were a million choices he as a father had to take other than the one that he did. The poster that I have quoted listed two very good choices.